Why assume that an incel is autistic?

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I thought the original incel meaning as you describe, was still the current meaning!

Tribalism and belonging.

Victim complex. You have to identify that you're being wronged, and how, or you can't garner sympathy.

Thinking more about it, being autistic may have actually helped prevent me from being an incel.

Incels are usually chasing very attractive women. Traditionally attractive - what most guys would rate a 10 out of 10 for looks. Most model good looks don't do it for me because they look artificial. Most men don't have that turnoff.

Incels often get obsessed with things they can do to make themselves look more attractive. Often weird stuff, like obsession with jawline. As an autistic I'm mostly indifferent to my appearance (other than being clean) and unwilling to chase trends or fashion, or otherwise attempt to change how I look for the sake of being more attractive.

Considering that male Inceldom existed before femcel, does that mean male Incels are incapable of admitting a double standard? If I'm understanding you correctly you're saying Incels can have wants and needs, but they can't or won't acknowledge femcels' wants and needs.





I guess those male Incels have never heard of teenaged girls or women feeling heartbroken that their "crush" doesn't notice them, doesn't ask them out, doesn't invite them to prom, goes out with the prettier girl, friendzones them, ghosts them, plays headgames, cheats on them, etc.

Perhaps they should spend some time reading women's books and magazines or watching podcasts about "How to get him back in ten easy steps!" (doesn't work), "How to know if he's cheating ... " (generally always works, because intuition ...) , "My guy left me after I did _____ , ____ , and ____ to make them happy!", or the smash hit "I was his free emotional therapist for the last year but he still won't leave his wife!"





Yes and no. It's something dangerous, but people don't fall into it unwittingly. They fall into it by listening to prevailing propaganda, and making a choice that almost certainly won't benefit their lives.




If that's true it's because men often fetishise lesbian sex, while simultaneously blaming or hating lesbians for not dating men.




Well then, I'm glad to hear they can claim and defend their sexual orientation but femcels can't.





Very few women find being ignored, being judged, being penetrated by men who think it's owed to them, being used, being dumped, being cheated on, being SA, becoming pregnant, or raising children alone, more satisfying than having mutually respectful relationships which fulfil their emotional needs and protect the needs of their children.






Agreed, although I'd include "the way some segments of society attack females, period."






No one can demand anything of another person, especially if it's based on gender or the desire for sex and companionship. We're all individuals who can make our own choices. If men want to be demanded to behave better, they should voluntarily behave better instead of blaming women for their "sleazy scumbag" ways. Historically, when women do speak up about men's sh***y behaviour they're called misandrists, bittches, gold-diggers, feminazis, leftists, dykes, or SJWs. In extreme cases they or other women risk being murdered for expressing their views.

People are having a lot less sex in younger generations than say, boomers did or the silent generation did back in the day. There are articles all over the internet about this.

Incels are going to be inevitable in the current culture of internet, porn & social inequality resulting in relative poverty for many and in some cases, absolute poverty.

I'm saying what you call "femcels" are not female incels.

Having trouble finding a relationship due to having reasonable standards about the behavior of a partner does not make anyone, male or female an incel. Incels have unrealistic, if not outright unobtainable standards.

I'm a guy who didn't have sex until I was in my 30s, and have not had sex for a decade. I've technically been involuntarily celibate nearly all of my adult life, but I am not an Incel.



Hard disagree with the bolded text. In general, but particularly with regard to feminism.

Feminism is wanting women to be held to the same standards as men. That means either raising the standards for men or lowering the standards for women.

sh***y men remain quite numerous in part because they're raised and celebrated by other scumbag men, but also because too many women either want a dominating alpha male for a partner, are willing to tolerate sh***y behavior, or demand the right to behave as sh***y as men.

I disagree. If the playing field is so far skewed that no relationships are available due to gender dynamics, these people are involuntarily celibate just like many men. They shouldn't need to forgo healthy relationships and settle for "drive-by" sex, in order to get sex at all. For many, that wouldn't be an option anyway because men avoid them due to their looks, their bodies, their personality (which could be autistic), or because of their lack of social skills - just like men.

And by the way, I was involuntarily celibate for 17 years. Even longer if you count the 17 years I wasted in sexless relationships with men who didn't want me. That would make it 34 years.

Where did you get that impression? Some feminists used to want the same privileges as men (e.g., the right to VOTE ...), but that didn't mean they were held to the same standard. The standard for voting was that the voter would have a penis at birth. I don't think women wanted to go back in time and have penises. They wanted to have the same rights for all human beings. Rights and standards are not the same thing.

Today's feminists want equality for all people, again in terms of opportunities with employment, inclusion, access to services, or owning your body as a sovereign individual (e.g., the right to abortion and non-parenting, which men already enjoy.) Today's feminists promote equality for trans and gay people, and anti-racism so that no group of women or human beings becomes marginalized by social hierarchies.

Being held to the same standard is only applicable in terms of justice. Male and female murderers, for example, should be treated equally because that's the basis of common law in the Western world.

While that's usually the case, there seems to be a segment of young men who latch onto the term pre-emptively, thinking it's a real problem needing a real solution, rather than the made up nonsense it actually is. Or, as mentioned, they simply think it's an alternative word for "virgin". I've noticed several members on here describe themselves as "incels" or "incel-like" simply because of a lack of intimacy, without all the extra baggage of misogyny or entitlement.

Basically, some "incel"s are the typical angry entitled potato, while other individuals who wear the label of "incel" don't have any funny ideas yet, but while trying to figure out their dating woes, they stumble across the usual incel redpill nonsense, and think "oh, ok, is that how it is?" and just accept it as true, cos they don't know better. And a few other individuals seem to have missed the memo, and think "incel" just means "awkward virgin".

The Incel movement was not originally mysoginist, it was created by a woman and it was a mixed place where it was less possible to see the opposite sex as an otherness (in a heterosexual perspective). Someone who is involuntarily single is not necessarily a virgin.
As society and customs evolve, being an incel currently no longer means the same thing and is very often meant to exclude women at best and deliberately mysoginist at worst.
But this knowledge is accessible only to insiders or for people who have a minimum of political hindsight (it's probably easier for women, since all this mysogyny is so obvious).

I understand how young men can get bogged down in this because society is becoming more and more sexual (access to sex simplified but priced) but people have less sexual relations with a view to lasting relationships (many studies on this). Perhaps young adults may be putting off long-term relationships due to their increasingly economically precarious status or occupation related to completing successful education.
I think that it's very likely to develop a sense of unease, even cognitive dissociation and seduction coaches can hope to get something out of it (even if some of these coaches do not believe a single word from the mysoginist speech they say, they know that politicizing sex sells because it is convincing).