OCD Support Thread

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Thanks! I am glad my headache isn't that bad as well. It makes it a little hard to concentrate, but other than anxiety about it, it doesn't cause me a whole lot of trouble. I have had pains in my head for a while now, but it was today when it became more constant. As for racing thoughts, I should add that I had racing thoughts for about 5 minutes. I am working really hard to suppress them now and I think I am okay (they have gone away).

I'm not sure why I am so sad. The only theory I have is that my serotonin levels have been low for so long from anxiety, and it may take a while before they are back to "normal" again. The problem is, I am forcing myself to stay sad right now because I am scared I will become manic if I allow myself to be happy.

I'm just scared I'm not in control of my emotions to the point where I have gone insane. To be honest, I'd rather just be depressed for the rest of my life than be manic! (Can you tell I'm scared of not being in control?)

Allowing yourself to feel happy or sad won't make you manic or prevent it... How would that work exactly?

Being happier helps manage anxiety though doesn't it?

Does it ever feel good for you to daydream or otherwise drift away?

Didn't your therapist already screen you for bipolar disorder?

Sorry for so many questions, there's just so much going on in this one post you just made.

I know. I'm sorry for the long post- if I am manic, then I certainly show the "flight of ideas" symptom.

It used to feel good to daydream until now. I would rather be unhappy and anxious my whole life than for one of my anxieties to come true.

My therapist said I didn't have bipolar disorder, but he never screened me for it.

You're most welcome, Stampy. I am so glad to know that my post was helpful to you! I want to address your response, as soon as I am finished working, as you mentioned a couple of things that I could add to, or elaborate on _ and, no need for you to respond, unless you are around and/or feel up to doing so. I had been having a bit of a difficult time of something, myself, however, upon responding to your inquiry, earlier, my state of mind turned from melancholy, to positive in nature So, I wish to thank you, as well. I shall speak with you, again, later.

><))'> be well

(hi, DB4, as well _ and Ferris, if he were to return, of course)

Thanks Britte ! Your post truly helped me a lot. All I want is to be able to go to school and feel normal like any other kid. Unfortunately, this weird experience has been taking quite a toll on me. Your post has hopefully changed that! You don't have to answer anything- I know you are very busy! But I wanted to ask If it was possible that neurons misfired because I tricked myself into feeling happy when I wasn't really? I hope this is just a one time thing. I am feeling much better now, though!

All the best to you!

No problem Stampy. I know you have a concise knowledge of disorders and most things are a just a google click away. At my last session my therapist told me to stop researching disorders as he said it was not helpful to me , so far I have been very good and not done any tests or read up about the same couple of disorders I always read about.



As for worrying about things that are out of your control like Bipolar , it's easier said than done but just try and deal with things 1 day at time and live in the now - yeah right , I wish I could follow my own advice . Hope your therapy session goes well

Hi SSF,

(I deleted my last post, as it was long, and may no longer pertain to your experience/issue, and the edit tab was no longer accessible. I thought I should mention it)

You're welcome, and I am so pleased to know that I could be of help to you! I don't think that thinking about something happy, or tricking yourself into being happy (Im not sure how you go about that), when you had not actually been happy, would cause misfiring, but I'm not entirely sure. Likely, not, and indeed, it was probably an isolated incident. I hope you had a good day, and I'd be interested to know if your therapist was able to ease your mind a bit, about the symptoms you've been experiencing.

Thanks guys. I'm doing better now, but I got no advice on how to stop the weird symptoms from my therapist. I really don't want bipolar disorder (there's obviously nothing wrong with having it, but I just really don't want to be mentally ill- it scares the crap out of me). The headache is still constant, and I will occasionally get what I think is a rush of dopamine in my brain (I think the weird urge to laugh/cry/throw up was actually an urge to have a vocal tic, since I normally get those when I am happier). The "racing thoughts" were never really racing thoughts, but it still felt like my mind was high/sped up or something like that.

Ever since my therapist challenged me not to look up disorders, I rarely do anymore. I also followed his advice on getting rid of my paranoid thoughts. They are almost entirely gone! I was even eating something today and "forgot" to have the thought that it was poisoned or something crazy like that. However, he still refuses to offer me other advice on how to get rid of OCD unless I exercise and spend time with my dad, which I tried to do before but it wasn't good enough.

The problem is, my mom always portrays me in a really negative way. She isn't trying to, but somehow my psychologist no has the notion that all I do is look up mental illnesses all day and I can't form connections to others. Are you kidding me? Of course I form connections to others! I have so many people who I see every day at school and I absolutely love talking to them. And like I said in the last paragraph, I rarely look up mental illnesses anymore. I'm so sorry for ranting guys- you all really don't deserve to have responsibility for my problems. It just feels really good to get this off my chest, so don't reply if you don't want to any of this stuff. I'm just kind of stuck at the moment. My mom and therapist want me on medication, but there is no way I am going on SSRI's (it's just a personal thing, I know they help many people). Right now I have one of two choices- go on medication, or "try harder." It's upsetting to me because I am really trying my best, and my annoying psychologist has no clue what it is like to live with what I have. I deal with so much more than most kids my age, and instead of encouragement or support, I get put down and yelled at for being too rigid.

I'm really sorry- that was ridiculously long ! I feel a lot better now though. Ferris- thanks for your advice, but I can't follow it either ! Do you think I have bipolar disorder or a form of it?

Thanks Britte! I am kind of worried, and I also hope this is an isolated thing. I just really wish I knew why it was happening and how I could stop it. I really hope it was just because I tricked myself, but like you said that may be unlikely. Do you think it is bipolar disorder? I had a better day today. I am quite tired, my headache is still here, and I am upset over what happened yesterday with therapist, but I didn't really have any racing thoughts today! I am trying to just let the whole thing go, but it is kind of hard when my head feels like it's being squished all day! Today was good though. I said hi to my favorite teacher, and I am still getting all my work done despite this horrible stuff that has been going on. I am also sleeping through the night almost every single day now, which is more evidence against bipolar disorder . I hope you are doing well! Sorry for my long rant!

Stampy, I get that you feel really misunderstood right now and it's so frustrating! Sometimes when I feel misunderstood, it helps me to remember that the people in my life usually mean well. It doesn't help me that much though. Sometimes, bursts of rigorous or fast aerobic exercise also help me discharge some of what I'm feeling. Do you use these tools too?

Don't forget my earlier reply to you. I mention it again now because it deals with your therapist's comments.

I hope your headache improves. Does anything help the headache, or is it one of those really stubborn ones?

~Hi Stampy and DataB4.

Stampy, perhaps, I could be of further help/support to you, at this time, if you are to return, as I have some things in common with you, some of which are related to experiences I had at approximately, your age, as well as some thoughts/ ideas that I have wanted to share with you. You could decide if you think they could benefit you. I wonder if you would mind if I sent you a PM.

I see my therapist on Wednesdays, and had a productive/eye opening session, today, and, I was thinking I might ask for your thoughts, or simply your ear, if I were to talk about some of my issues at hand, as well, here.

DataB4, I don't know if you acquire the same effect, but, I find the endorphin release from vigorous exercise, to have an immediate effect on my mental well-being.

~Cheers

No, not quite the same effect. It's more of a release of energy and a sense of accomplishment.

Ah, I see. : ))

It is very frustrating! I am trying my hardest, but I still get yelled at! Of course they mean well, but I am quite annoyed with my therapist especially right now. I sometimes want to just shout at them and tell them that they wouldn't last 10 seconds in my head! I hate being yelled at about something I can't control.

I do exercise at least 2-3 times during the weekdays (which isn't a lot, I know). I have been so successful using certain tools from CBT, but the issue I have is with certain tools and the fact I get very minimal support and I am basically just told to suck it up. Sorry I can't automatically suck up my constant, disabling OCD and depression . I wish my mom and therapist would understand that!

My headache isn't really that painful, thankfully, but it is constant. To be fair, I haven't tried much to make it go away.

Do you think I have bipolar disorder?

Of course you can send me a PM Britte ! Of course, not all of this is my age, since my mom even says the only real "teenage" behavior I have is talking back to my dad sometimes, but again, that is due to anxiety for me. I'm sure your ideas will help me though, so I will be glad if you message me!

I'm so glad you had a productive session! Feel free to talk about anything you want here. I really should stop complaining so much!

No Stampy, I don't think you have bipolar disorder. From what you've posted, you haven't shown the extreme highs and lows that characterize bipolar disorder. You also explained some of these new feelings as variations of conditions you already know you have. No other disorder is necessary for you to cope with your symptoms.

My childhood was filled with incidents of being yelled at for things I couldn't control. It was a horrible feeling. I learned a lot over time, and it hasn't been easy.

I know what you mean about people telling you to suck it up. That's how I feel every single time someone tells me "you just got to try and get out more!" when I ask them about making friends. Okay! My anxiety is nothing, nor my sensory issues or the fact that I have trouble communicating with people, that's all a load of crap, I'll go do that right now! (Sarcasm)

I have had headaches recently as well, don't know why though, it was just like yours not painful but just constantly there. I highly doubt you have bipolar disorder, I have depression and my mood tends to go up and down as well.