OCD Support Thread

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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this here, but I told my teacher about why I can't learn about schizophrenia (although I am almost convinced I have it by now). He was really understanding about the whole thing. His class is awesome! He is definitely my favorite teacher this year .

Fingers crossed for you SSF , I hope the SSRI's help. I've been on them a week and already noticed a change.
What brand have they given you - I'm on Prozac ( I'm on it for depression but I know it quiets my mind ).
Although I prefer to be med free sometimes you need a little help.

I feel like a failure, but I have my fingers crossed that they will help. Thanks Ferris- I am really worried and it helps to know that I am not alone. I actually haven't had the initial consultation yet, but I will probably be given Prozac or something. At this point I just really hope it gets rid of this horrible paranoid feeling I have been having. I think I'm starting to believe the thoughts, and I'm so scared! I am almost convinced that I am going insane and there is no hope, but if the SSRI works, then I won't have to be scared anymore. If it doesn't, well, I guess my worst fear is coming true.

Hi, SSF! No need to apologize. I’m glad to hear from you, and hear of your goings on, whenever you have time to write. : )

Sorry to hear you’ve got a heavy workload at school, currently. I know how contentious it can be. Good on you, for plowing through the harder bits, though, and by the sound of things within your posts, further up the thread, your hard work appears to be paying off, respectively. It’s good to read that you were able to speak with your teacher about the schzophrenia concerns you’ve had. I’m happy to hear that he received it well and has been nice about it, and that you like his class, so much!

I, too, have missed our conversations! Profoundly, so.

I hope to talk with you, again, very soon! No pressure, however.

Feeling like a failure and being a failure are two different things , you are not a failure because you need some meds to help.
If you're anything like me then the paranoia is worse the more anxious and depressed I am so anything that lessens anxiety and depression lessens paranoia.
I know only too well how scary it is , I've been living it for decades , you are not alone SSF , you will get through this , your intelligence is your best asset but it is can also your worst enemy at times , try and remember your mind can make you think many things that are not true and make connections where there are none - You know all this anyway but I'm sure it doesn't hurt to be reminded.

Thank you so much. I feel so bad all the time recently. I haven’t felt like there is a chance I could still be sane since last June. I know I probably need medication, but I will never go on it willingly. I’ve basically lost my mind at this point .

Have you ever partially believed your thoughts, or had a constant weird, horrific feeling of paranoia? Have you ever been afraid of being alone or being in the dark because something might be hidden in there? Have you ever (this is the worst part) felt as if you were being watched or like the government is tracking you when they are really not?? I have the occasional insight, but it is almost all gone by now! It would help to know that I am not alone, but I think I am because I have actual paranoia now! It is so depressing and horrifying to know that my worst fear has come true.

Hi and welcome, Missworry. I have experienced all of the symptoms you are currently, experiencing. I know that the majority of us who have participated within this thread have, thus, speaking for not only myself, but others, here, as well, I understand and empathize with you. I’m very sorry that you are having a difficult time of things, presently. I hope you will find the threads such as this one, to be of help and support to you. I hope you are feeling a bit better, since writing. All the best to you, Missworry.

Hi Britte! I hope you are doing well!

Yes, the amount of work has really been quite a bit lately! I hope I can get through high school okay. Thank you! I am very glad I told him, and I feel like it was a wise decision in the long run, even though I had to miss a few classes because of it!

My OCD has been very bad lately, and I don’t even know if it is OCD anymore. Have you ever been given medication for anxiety, and has it helped you?

I can’t wait to talk more here! I have missed you very much, and I hope that I can have less work and continue to feel better, and maybe that will allow me to post more here! Hugs!

Ferris, good to hear that you're already feeling a bit better. I found that a low dose of SSRI helped me sleep a bit better and when I had an anxiety attack, I didn't feel as nauseous.

Stampy, I don't look at you as having failed, especially because you're still new to all this. You've seen one therapist for a few sessions and will be starting your first medication, correct? Fortunately, lack of success at this point doesn't really mean anything in terms of your long-term success.

Unless I'm missing something from your experience, then I'd say yes. Being afraid of a dark, silent room is a common fear. Even though you know there's no one and nothing there to harm you, that might not always take away the fear. As for the government tracking you, well, they track everyone but aren't targeting you or me. Unless, of course, you've gotten yourself involved with some evil plot and aren't telling us. And you already know this, you've said it yourself, you know the government isn't tracking you, despite the fearful feeling you have when you're thinking about it. Your mind is playing tricks on you.

You don't write like someone who has lost their mind , in fact the opposite. It sounds to me like your anxiety is ruling your life at the moment.




Hell yeah , anxiety just wears down the part of you that is rational and you go into a state of hyper vigilance which makes it very difficult to be rational as you are in survival mode. When I'm like this the only thing that helps is a Valium.


Yup , when I was younger I used to hide under my duvet until I could barely breathe and eventually the need for air was more important than my fear of what was in the dark.



Yeah , I've had the whole conspiracy feelings and it feels very believable when your anxious but I'm pretty sure I always had some insight ( I could be wrong ) . It sounds to me like you may have worked yourself up into a bit of a bad spot due to your OCD , the insight you think you're losing is your insight of what OCD does to you.
Your worst fears have not come true , we have the same fear , mine haven't come true either but I know the impact this can have on your life.

Thank you so much for your reply DataB4. Yes, I have seen a therapist for a little over a year now, and it has finally gotten to the point where my mom is paying me to take medication. I feel like I am almost.......done.

Thank you for the reassurance. I know the fear of a dark, silent room is normal, but it seems worse recently, and I don't know if that is due to a fear of hallucinating while I am alone or what. Of course, I know the government is NOT tracking me, but I just feel as if I believe the thought more, and I am unable to dismiss it. It has definitely gotten worse. Before it was just intrusive thoughts, which were sometimes hard to dismiss, but now it is so bad I am actually paranoid. Thank you very much though. I am so worried, but hey, I don't think there has ever been a time when I was not worried .

Thanks Ferris. Anxiety has always ruled my life, unfortunately! I am so glad to have you guys though. You are a great support, and I am really sorry you have to go through this crap too.




What is a Valium? If it is a disorder I probably have it (joking) !



I am also scared of things behind walls for some reason. Even though there is never anything behind the wall.



Than you so much for this. It has gotten so bad I am so close to being delusional right now. I think I have some insight but I'm not sure. Sometimes, when I ask myself, "Do I really believe the government is tracking me?" I think it is the most ridiculous question in the world and I think "Of course the government isn't tracking me! Why me out of all people, when I haven't done anything bad and I am just some random kid?" The whole idea is ridiculous to me. Other times, however, I am not so lucky. I can't dismiss the thought and I get this extremely disturbing feeling. It's almost as if all objects in the environment feel threatening and out of place. I get a weird headache, and I become hypervigilant, looking out windows and stuff! WHY would I feel the need to look out windows if I don't believe the thought? It scares me so much- I already feel like I have lost it.

I feel like I am probably going to be the only person in the world whose fear of going insane actually came true.

Enough about my problems then, how was your day?

Hi SSF. This is the medication Nick007 takes for anxiety and after reading the Wikipedia article, it sounds as though it could be a good one, as it doesn't have detrimental side affects, such as sedation and the like. It was something else that Nick mentioned he takes for OCD, however, you specifically mentioned anxiety. I'm going to ask my doctor about it, as I cannot take the other medication I mentioned, during the day, and, on occasion, I have anxiety/anxiety attacks, while at work. I hope you have good night.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buspirone

Thank you so much for that, Britte ! I will definitely look into that more. I hope you have a great day or night! Hugs from Stampy !

I took Buspar for quite a while on the maximum dose. It caused me to have some periods of drowsiness during the day but otherwise no side effects. It helped some with my anxiety and, by extension, my obsessive thoughts. It stopped working though.

Thanks for that DataB4. I am pretty scared of how medications will affect me with all the side effects. I am convinced I am going to go manic if I take an SSRI or something. At least then I will be able to convince people I have bipolar disorder! Sigh......