Tried to share that I was ADD ....Didn't go like I planned

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Hello all,

I'm in my 40's (female) and recently diagnosed with inattentive ADD and SPD. For me, it does seem an "invisible disability". I've done well with compensation and coping mechanisms, but try to stay away from so many "shoulda, coulda, wouldas" in my life. It would be too easy for me to become melancholy over it. Its been a wonderful life, but as I wrap my head around my REALLY LATE diagnosis, I can clearly see how ADD has affected my behavior, decisions and been woven through my life. So I'm using that to learn for moving foward.

As I come to terms with and seek assistance to deal with certain behaviors and learning issues, I struggle with whom to tell. I was in a social situation last night, a "Meetup" group that is large on the whole but has at any given time multiple events with smaller groups 10-20 people. One of the men mentioned in a conversation about kids that his daughter had ADHD. I'm new to the group, but its my second event. I see no harm in sharing that I have ADD in this circumstance and I do so. I also specify that I have inattentive type as his daughter is hyperactive type. Since he brought up medications, I ask him about hers and mention mine.

As soon as I share that my ADD diagnosis is recent, he says "Oh, well everyone thinks they have ADHD".

He said it very matter of factly, not mean. But I really didn't know what to say. If I had been younger, I would have gotten fairly upset and possibly blurted out something embarrassing towards him in anger. I'm not the most quick in conversation / debate anyway but I don't stress over that deficit. After many years of effort to control my quick temper, and also self reflection, I'm also happy with myself and not quite so thin-skinned. I'm Zen compared to the way I used to be. I however know that underneath I have to monitor my feelings, and prevent triggers from escalating it. I'm no fool, that potential anger is not gone by any means.

I would have liked to have said something, clarify his statement, ask him if he was actually telling me I didn't have ADD. But within seconds, I decided I didn't know this man. Why even get worked up about it? I KNOW I have ADD. I just wanted to share the subject with another person familiar about it.

Nice part is I didn't carry away hard feelings, grudge or anger. I know of several comebacks for those who doubt ADD, but for a parent of an ADD child? I was bewildered more in the end than angry. I would have liked to have been able to address his comment though.

Thanks

The truth is I hear a lot of people say things like "I have a touch of OCD", or "I'm a little ADD". Statements like this from people who have a quirk or two has taken away from the credibility and seriousness of diagnosis. Add all the reports of over diagnosis in the media, and voila, everyone is skeptical about whether ADD is actually common at all. Doesn't matter, you know the truth.

I've had people respond with "well everyone is a little anxious" to my disclosure of anxiety disorder. Maybe it's an attempt to make me feel less different from others, but I get a little irked when I hear it. Like they're not listening to me or acknowledging something that I think is important.