I fit the criteria for aspergers
but I am not a book worm
I don't keep routines well, I find routines difficult to keep especially in a chaotic life.
I am able to focus well on a few topics, but around others it is very difficult to describe topics or how they work and what I thought i knew I began to question.
People always tell me I am random but in my mind I am pretty focused however I cannot explain the chain of thoughts to others.
I am in a constant fog unless I am by myself.
I can have a conversation with most people using pre rehearsed responses.
I can have a conversation with my friends but mostly I just joke about my imaginary things or spins off of things that are happening or people did or I did.
Conversations are never fulfilling to me.
I always feel that there is something wrong with me, most people from what they know/see/converse with me see me as perfectly normal which is frustrating to me because it feels like there is something wrong but I cannot explain it.
Well..this is what is on my mind and when I found aspergers it made a lot of sense but now I am not so sure. The people with aspergers typically are very schoolastic. I am good at school but I have to work hard at it and circumstances play a huge role as to whether I am succesful at it.
Anyways..just wondering what else it could be if it isn't aspergers...or is it aspergers I do not know..I dont think it's ptsd, could be brain damage from hitting myself in the head or smashing my head into walls. But I probably wont ever have the real answer.
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“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”
― George Washington