Schizophrenia?

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I am going to the doctor soon but I am going to share some thoughts...

All my life I have always been really weird but now that I have to function in the real world now I care.

I am pretty much obsessed over using my brain as much as possible. Whenever I daydream I always try to stop thinking and look around and try using my other senses. It hurts though so I always retreat.
Whenever I watch TV I always have to repeat everything I have heard so I remember everything
My left eye vibrates way too much and I always see weird sh** floating in my left eye.
I have images in my head that always pop up.
Working I have never been a good worker. My heart is in the right place but I never do anything correctly. I always seem to miss a step and I never speak up.
I am left handed.
I sometimes hear words WAY differently then what they said like selective hearing and it is always something weird when it is selective.
Most words come to me in a blob then actual words.
I CANNOT follow instructions at all and I CAN'T learn ANYTHING from lectures.
Everytime I get connected with somebody I ALWAYs back away because I feel like having connections with people is a sign of weakness. I don't even talk to my family.
I am paranoid htat I might lose my head any minute.
Sometimes I get painful images of myself or other people getting hurt and it physically hurts me to think it.
Sometimes I see things that LOOk like a bug for a second.
Also honestly I started seeing some of these things, mainly the bugs when I went on a week long black out binge. I don't drink or do drugs anymore.

Any ideas before I go to the doctor?

What do you expect the doctor to do? Do you think the doctor will prescribe medication? If you found that it is AS and not schizophrenia, or vice versa, does it change your course of action? Some people are significantly disabled by schizophrenia and for these medication makes the difference in being able to hold jobs and so on.

Medications for schizophrenia can only dull you, make any voices and things you hear less obvious and less disabling. They cannot and do not stop them, but they can make them bearable for some people. Since you are not off the planet from what you describe I doubt any medication is really going to be of any benefit. What you are describing is more like autism to me. Much of what you describe is me on a day to day basis and that is Autism, but it honestly depends on who you see as to what you get diagnosed with. They all have their pet diagnosis, and simply ask the questions they want to fit you into their category. Every single condition has things in common with the others. What is important is that if you are finding life difficult that you get help, but no one can help you if you do not want it. Therapy is hard work there is no two ways about it, and while no condition can be totally cured with the right supports in place life can be made more functional. If you want to change and find ways to do things differently there are people out there to help you. Medication can play a role for some people in some situations, but the side effects outweight any positives for many. Only you can decide what you want to do, and what you want to find out and achieve in life. You have to find a diagnosis that fits right for you. Medication may help to numb you out a bit and hence make things more tolerable, but it is not going to cure anything. People who are truely psychotic go in and out of pyschosis, and medication can play a role at peak times. But no med's can take away everything and if that is what you are wanting you will be very dissappointed. By the same token I agree with what the previous poster said, you have to decide what it is you are looking for and what will your response be if you are told it is Autism, verses if you are told it is schizophrenia.

I really don't see how it could be anything on the autism spectrum. Plywood mentioned in his other thread that he doesn't have issues socializing.

Do you have any intense interests, or repetitive behaviors?

If not, then out of the triad of symptoms of autism, he only has communication problems, which leads me to think it's not autism. Only a couple of the things you list are commonly linked with autism. The extreme paranoia to me suggests schizophrenia. Also, Plywood has stated that he experiences depersonalization frequently. The communication problems could be a different disorder, although I don't have any suggestions.

I definitely have issues socializing but it doesn't affect me enough to worry about it. I pretty much blocked away all friends and family and I never make connections but I think that's due to paranoia. Plus people think im weird but whateva.

I numbered them for ease.
Lots of things could be here. Because I love to analyze, I think I shall. You may be one of those diagnostic combo deals I was just reading reading about.
1. Sounds like my Aspergers. It took me ages to get to ground myself, once I realized I had to. Even grounding myself to be aware of other people is weird. I've got to learn to deal with this as well. It's not my thread, though, it's yours. I'll throw 2 in here, too. I've got the rituals and patterns that I do. [Tangent]For example, I really really REALLY need to get high scores in Yoshi's Island. Grrr if I do! Unless it's a really hard level and I happened to missed a bunch of stuff. I'll get 'em next time...[/Tangent]
2. could also be grouped with 11. and 12. Disturbing images are signs of OCD. That's just one of the symptoms, though. OCD people have rituals to go along with them. 2. could be a ritual, if you're trying to hold something at bay or for any other purpose. 12 is very disturbing. I know, because I've experienced it, usually during times of stress myself. Not that it will affect any other person. It can only affect yourself. I hope that puts you at ease a little. It's scary, for sure.
11. also sounds like simple anxiety. Paranoia is when you think they're out to get you. If you're worried about something, though, it's anxiety. Or worry warts. Sometimes it's nothing. If life is chaotic now, you may experience this.
3. I have no freakin' clue. It doesn't sound good, though. Are you sure you don't have stuff in your eye? Like, dust, where you can follow it...
4. I have words that randomly pop into my head. I heard it was a symptom of ADHD. I call them my "word of the day." I am DX'd ADHD inattentive, btw.
5. is definitely a symptom of that, because you sound like you've got issues with organization and doing things in steps. There's definitely ways to work around this. Work smart, not hard, etc. It's great to get a therapist...do you go to school, and if so, are there ways to get help with this?
6. Gratz, you're a minority. Do you have artistic inclinations?
7. and 8. remind me of central auditory processing disorder. Like, there's not enough connections to fully process what's coming through, at least in me. Or something like that. I don't know why exactly it happens. It's not a hallucination, it's just a somewhat common misfire. For example, I hear "chicken fingers" but press the "wings" button, because it didn't process write. Instructions should ideally be 2 steps at a time, preferably, or better yet, written down!
9. could also be a symptom of this if you're not hearing anything. Or not. 9. could be a symptom of executive disfunction, as well. Maybe you need a note taker?
10. I have no idea what this thingy means to you, beyond what you just said.

Well, I hope this helps. I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist. I have, however, read the DSM IV WAY too many times. I hope you get the help you need.

The difference between autism and schizophrenia is huge. They are treated entirely differently. Like the difference between GAD and Sensory Integration. Two different things. Autistics should never ever be given antipsychotics, unless they are actually schizophrenic or psychotic on top of their autism.

Autistics don't really have the intuitive sense of socialization. Maybe those that are more on the border of it. I have aspergers. Some things are clear to me. But, I generally really on other people's reactions so I can base my move off of theirs. When I initiate, things can go haywire. Social interaction is...like...innate for most people. I don't know.

Schizophrenics also have delusions. Are you delusional? Delusions are beyond worry. Like, they're extreme. Some are drug induced. I find it interesting to read about. A person might have loads of locks on their door. In "A Caveman's Valentine," (GREAT movie, by the way) Morgan Freeman's character saw beams coming out from the skyscrapers that were seated around him. (He lived in Central Park.) In "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," the big Native American guy experienced catatonia and described it like a fog. He was totally unresponsive. That's not the only thing about catatonia, though. Some WPers have experienced it.

I cannot diagnose you. I can only type far too many words into a text box within a shiny picture box. I wish you luck on your journey.

Ack! one more thing. People with ADHD can also have trouble socializing. Whether it's from impulsivity or something else, I don't know. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

It depends what you mean by artistic?
I try to take the meaning to a whole different level by appplying ti to everything.

My mind never stops, and neither do I ever want it to ever stop ... and I tell doctors I do not want medications to ever rob me of access to it or control of it.


I have floaters in both eyes, but my left eye has the "twitch".


I usually only get those during "shutdown" at bedtime.


Yes, and sometimes even a bit entertaining!


Yes.


I can follow instructions I understand, but I do not naturally understand anything.


Yes.


I no longer have that fear.


Yes.


Me neither.


Try to relax a bit. The only person who is truly insane is the one who thinks s/he has no problem at all.

Yeah, that's a good point.