Those of you with some type of schizo disorder

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I am pondering if I am more of the schizo type disorder because I do hear things but not always.
Often different things can set these hearing/seeing things such as cigaretts, a cup of coffee and sometime too much tea, most stims, stress, sadness, and some drugs which are not hallucinagenic in nature.
Other times it is random but usually one of the above.
So I avoid all of the above if I can.
Usually I hear things when at night and I have to check my doors/locks to make sure they are all locked.
Sometimes if it is really loud like screaming or yelling type of stuff in my head I cant sleep so I will try and concentrate on something like the computer.
I have friends, however since teenager at around 7th grade I started being very suspicious of them.
I am still suspicious of them, and even my family members now.
Like for instance my parents are going away because my step grandma died.
And I had this thought like it was all a plot and she was lying talking to my aunt on the phone.
They really wanted to go away so they could observe me from a distance some how.
I know this is illogical and is not the case. However I have a lot of thoughts like this and have since after elementary...maybe even 6th grade.

My obsessions are computers, games, politics, music (probably biggest when I find a genre to get into, or when I am making mix tapes)

Another thing is like I saw a bug flying aroud which was small so I thought maybe I have bed bugs.
So I washed all my sheets and now they are clean but I am still worried about bed bugs but they probably are not there.
I draw illogical conclusions from small unlikely clues.

I don't want to talk to a psychologist, I hate them getting in my head and I never let them all the way in.
I don't want there medications, though I do at times to help calm my mind but I'd hate to visit them so I wont.

Anyways...from those with a schizo type disorder is any of this similar for you?
What type of schizo disorder disorder does it sound like? Does it sound like one at all?

I enjoy isolation because it's less complex and I don't have to worry about my mind playing tricks on me about what's "really" going on.
However the more isolation I have I sometimes start hearing things more often.

sounds very familiar. in that case, i believe you have some schizophrenic tendencies. if it make you feel better to call them that. it started out as something interesting, a different perspective from everyone else. i thought. "i can handle this, im just a little eccentric" but it gets worse as time goes on. those voices turn into echos and the echos build as more voices add. you seem to know a few things about sound waves, so im sure you can visualize that viscerally. finding a way to let them out helps, but this is problematic, because what happens when you dont have the energy to let them out? they start again, and start even louder. soon the obsessive task of letting them out will consume your life, as everything else wilts, and soon, you cannot even sustain the bloodletting. get some help. it may take a while to find a doctor who can help, who understands you, and who is not trying to sedate you. remember these things comes in doses, and there are natural ways to help you find your sound mind.

it can be quite disconcerting at times especially when you are alone. i would stay up for days at a time, until the paranoia and hallucinations were quite real, and the questioning, the endless questioning.

think about it this way. you are a biological machine. for starters, you know the old saying "you are what you eat?" well its not just a mindless proverb. the material you put in you body *becomes* your body. secondly, your mind is and electrochemical computer, which requires maintenance and fuel. that means good sleep, psychic upkeep, and good food and exercise. if that needs clarification, i will be glad to convince you. just like the rest of your body, what goes in and out becomes your mind. it is a feedback loop. the echos are not just a poetic metaphor. your thoughtlife needs maintenance. your chemistry needs maintenance. what you are experiencing is, in part, symptoms of a chemical imballance in the brain. nothing to be ashamed of. all us have to find the ballance and when we dont, bad things happen. just like a semiconducor computer that gets a virus. makes it kinda difficult for the computer to function properly. just let that sink in a little.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW. it will get worse if you dont, i promise. dont waste your life. oh that reminds me why i started the last paragraph...if you are spending any time at all thinking about this, wondering, freaking out, YOU ARE WASTING COMPUTATIONAL POWER. when you free yourself from such worries, you will find almost limitless ability to focus your brain power on the most incredible things. its realy quite simple. if you have ever been to the coast, you have likely seen a kelp forest. imagine your mind as a surfboard skimming through the water. you can make up all kinds of metaphors about the type and quality of the water, but just imagine the surfboard. thats your mind. you want to skim through the water without picking up any of the kelp. every thought that passes through, let it pass while the next one comes and the next one. your mind wont forget as easily as you think it will. just keep skimming. i used to hold onto every thought, and try to see it out to its logical conclusion, i didnt want to let any thought get away. until i learned that each thought is like a star in the infinite expanse of space. you can focus on another star, or come back to it another night. the star will still be there.

hope that helps. it may be a little too [insert annoying idiosyncracy] for you, but i am just shooting from the hip here. you arent alone (at least you have you alters...j/k, bad joke, we all do, but that is a topic for another lengthy post...) we are all searching for answers. so keep it up!

thanks for reply, I read somewhere that people who hear things are often depleted of many essential vitamins..so I do find that if I have enough vitamins it lessens the paranoyia. Also I try and avoid sugar, milk, but I could probably stand to avoid eating simple bread and pasta's.

I don't try and listen to any voices in my head really, they are usually telling me to do dumb things which I won't do. But I do try to rationalize them as they are in my head though I did not put them there. Usually at night they are louder but inaudible as to what they are saying just frantic like someone rushing away with my brain cells.

My visuals are of shadows changing shape and moving. Also things that are flat will apear unflat and things that aren't flat will apear flat at times. Obviously this is not always the case and it comes and goes.

does this sound strange or crazy? I dont think it is....but it might be. This would be one of my normal posts on my blog.

Quote: "One fifth, is what I have hopefully lived. In the beginning I thought I had an idea of how the world worked but as I have gotten older this clarity has been quickly replaced with uncertainty. Memories of the past seem very foreign to me, as if a dream or someone elses life that I hadn't lived. I have little understanding of how others live and seem to go on living in constant perpetuation where as I seem to be just going in circles. I think too much, I've always thought too much and maybe that is the problem. However it would seem to me that these thoughts are the only thing that makes us who we are. I once wondered whether I would be remembered for who I was or for what I had thought on paper. Because it had at the time seemed to me my thoughts were in a totally different world than who I was to be. I can see now that my thoughts have been catching up to who I am to be, and discerning more control. This could be the reason for my stagnation, as my thoughts are circulatory often leading to few answers but more questions. Sometimes I attempt to control the thoughts with repiticous actions hoping to achieve a similar state of mind as in the past. To no avail do I do this as my mind is in constant evolution and for any answer I achieve several questions are added and new possible answers created. This could simply be the way life is, a constant mental construct of build and repair. I often wonder what cerebral sky scrapers are inside the other peoples minds, and how did they get there or if they are indeed there. Their constant perpetuation leaves me to think otherwise unless their efficiency system is such that they can build and repair without respute. Judging by their scenary and organizational constructs I would gander that this is also not the case. More questions, fewer answers, scattered mind inside the mist."