How do I cope with ASD?

Post Reply New Topic

I was told that I had ASD when I was a few years younger and I know that some of the other members make the same thread earlier and when I first heard that I have ASD I imediantly thought that I was ret*d I don't know why but whenever I would see autistics on the media they would always portray them as dumb or low IQ. So when I learned that I had ASD I became depressed and thought that I could not do anything and I became worried about my future.I sometimes feel very depressed about this and I have some issues as well. Sometimes people would say I think to slow so they think that they need to help me with every task I seem to do and they think that I can't do anything on my own. I am often told I was slow or idiot even by other people with other disabilitys. I often think I have the lowest IQ in the school I was told that when I was younger I had a congnitive delay when I was 18 months I was 10 months behind so now I think that I am 10 years behind and I wonder are cognitive delays and MR related? People say that they can easily manipulate me into doing things and I often have poor self awareness and would act clueless where I go. I seem to also daydream a lot and it makes me lose focus in school so it causes other people to think I was stupid. I use to have a lot of special needs when I was younger I use to ride the short bus in elementary but now I don't do that anymore. I had my own aide when I was in elementary but now I don't need it. I still see aide teachers in my class and I always think that they are for me because even though I don't have a aide in the class they still go there and I get nervous when someone is there. I am also really clumsy and I screw up a lot and I am always messing up every single time I make people flip out at me whenever I am having a problem. Is this just my problem?

I can relate to the way you felt after getting the diagnosis - I was incredibly upset about my diagnosis at first because I completely misunderstood it, and nobody had really told me much about it. It doesn't help that so many others seem to misunderstand it or just not know much about it either.

First of all there is nothing at all wrong with having an ASD, it doesn't make you slow or dumb or ret*d. You're not any of those things either, and I can tell from your post to a certain extent. If people say this to you they're the ones in the wrong, and I suppose that the only thing you can really do is try to explain that to them. And you're definitely not ten years behind- lots of people may have slight delays when they're younger but that doesn't mean they can't grow up and learn to get to the same level in that particular thing as an average person. You don't mess up every time, don't worry, nobody does, and if you struggle with certain things, nobody is perfect and amazing at everything.

I can relate to daydreaming a lot too! I've always been terrible with daydreaming and it's hard to think of what to suggest about that. Daydreaming can be a good thing though, but if it's making things difficult because you can't concentrate I suppose you just have to try and bring yourself to reality and try really hard to concentrate. I'm sure others will probably have better suggestions for that than me to be honest.

But nearly the exact thing happened to me after my diagnosis, I was so worried that I couldn't do things that I might have wanted to do and that my future was going to be terrible. I'm glad that I'm not the only one and I hope knowing that will help you too. But I've realised now that it doesn't mean you can't do anything, at all. There are lots of succesful people with an ASD, and remember that any of us can do anything that we put our minds to within reason. Don't worry, I'm sure that you have a great future ahead of you.

About feeling clumsy, everybody including myself has always called me incredibly clumsy and it made me feel quite self-conscious, but I've tried to let that go and realise that it doesn't matter. I've been diagnosed with dyspraxia, so maybe it could be the same for you, or just part of your ASD? But it honestly doesn't matter. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

I went through the exact same thing when I was younger. I was always self-conscious of my differences in school, and being bullied didn't help matters much. I had an aide until 7th or 8th grade and while I didn't realize at first that the aide was for me, I eventually began to get self-conscious about it.

I think you need to know that you're not slow or stupid by any means. Your brain is just very unique - that's not a bad thing! It's only frusturating in a society that is not accepting of mental differences, and they push this guilt onto you. Classmates told me I was ret*d in Middle and High school - not true, far from it! I think the same goes for you. I can tell that you are smart, but different brains prioritize different things, and the way your brain works just happens to have a specific name.

Let me tell you, it does get easier. As you grow up, you'll learn more, and other people won't care so much if someone is a little different - other people mature, too. It can help to get a friend or family member to help you with reading social skills, so that you will be able to tell if a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This will not be an attempt to change who you are, but it will serve as a protective measure.

Here is an online book that I found very helpful: A Survival Guide for People with Asperger's Syndrome

Let me know if you need someone to talk to - I'm here to listen!