Coming Out

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I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's by any doctor or psychologist, though everything I've read about about it both online and in books I have in some form or another. I will be going off to college in the fall and intend on going to see someone about this either to get diagnosed or to tell me what's really going on.

Either way, I was curious how it went when others "came out" to their family and to friends. I attempted to about six months ago to my mother and one of my best friends and it didn't go so well. My friend said it was all in my head (which it literally is) and my mother said that there was no way I could have it and that I am perfectly normal. In other words she immediately went into denial.

I really don't understand why it went that way with either of them since everyone I know already knows I have OCD. (It's not like I can hide it.) And they all know I have multiple forms of synesthesia. If I already have two mental ... anomalies, then why is it so hard to accept another?

The strange thing is that when I came out, I found that many people already knew. My immediate family knew I was autistic because I was first diagnosed as a small child. Nobody outside of my family was told, however. With all of the information on how to spot autism, it becomes harder and harder for us to hide. Even when I try to hide by acting NT, medical professionals see right through my act.

I believe that hiding may soon no longer be an option. Right now, the only ones legally allowed to discriminate against us are the military and insurance companies. However, many employers also illegally discriminate against autistic people. Yes, it is illegal, but it is also hard to prove. I think that in many ways, it has become harder on autistic people than in the past due to the information out there about how to spot autism.

I do know that when one has the official label, they can kiss having private health insurance goodbye. In the P.S.A., under the Dear Leader Obama, this may however change, but it is likely that the mandated health insurance will be worth much for the price we will have to pay.

The reason why I came out publicly is to try to educate people, especially the "experts" about what is is like being autistic and to highlight our abilities. I figured if people see some of the things many (I know but not all) of us can do better than NT's we would be allowed a decent place in society. However as each day goes by, I think there is less and less of a chance of this happening.

My Dad already knew, just like cyberscan's family. I'd been diagnosed autistic as a little girl. But then when I started in with the talking, and the hyper lexia he decided I was just a misunderstood genius and kept it all under his hat for decades. I only found out when my son was diagnosed.

My Dad still denies it, but then he denies I'm mentally ill as well, even though my brother's known since I was in my teens that there was something screwy about me. (He didn't put it quite that way mind you...) My Dad thinks I'm just "a little moody", and won't accept bipolar or schizoaffective at all. He still thinks if I came of the meds I'd be alright. After all, I've been doing so well this year... obviously I'm better! The fact that they finally got the meds right doesn't seem to sink in. He thinks they're like a course of antibiotics, and now that I'm "better" I can come off them. My brother knows what I know... I'll be on these bloody things for the rest of my life...

Okay, my experience of coming out with my mental anomalies has obviously been complicated. Family can be really reluctant to accept it, because in some way they feel it reflects badly on them. (There's nothing wrong with my dna... so my offspring/siblings etc can't have anything "real" wrong with them...)

That's pretty much how the chips fell down with my family. At least my brother's on my side.

everybody knows im different and if i declared anything they would believe it
since they already know in the back of their head that something is wrong with me

Does anyone recommend just keeping the results to myself? Since it sounds like most other peoples' families already knew, at least somewhat, that they had it and mine just don't see it, not telling them might avoid conflict.

I might have realized why my family doesn't see it though. My brother has cerebral palsy, among other handicaps, so maybe in comparison I seem "normal" to them.

If you have one or more characteristic of Aspergers you may have Aspergers. If that is the case than everyone in some point of time has had Aspergers in their life. Aspergers has a very loose diagnosis criteria and just satisfying one or more criteria of Aspergers is enough to have some degree of Aspergers. More characteristics of Aspergers, the more severe form of Aspergers.

Pay the 1000s to a psychiatrist and do all the tests and you can be officially diagnosed with Aspergers. It costs lots of money to get an official diagnosis of Aspergers: tests and psychiatrist(s) opinion.

For me, the fear of telling people comes from the word "autism" and the preconceived notions that people have about it. When most people hear the word, they think of severely autistic people. They think of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. So when I told my parents, I made sure to make clear my disdain for using the word "autism" when describing myself. But telling them was made easier by the fact that I've been in therapy for the last few years for social problems, which they've known about for ten years.

As for other people, it's a problem simply because these days it seems like every geek in the world is self diagnosing themselves with Asperger's just because they're socially awkward and can tell you the names of every character who's ever appeared in a Star Wars movie, so I fear that people will think I'm just another poser and I'm quick to point out my psychologist's diagnosis. But yes, there will always be the "it's all in your head" and "just DEAL with it" folks, and unfortunately, nothing can be done about people so dense.