I can't be angry.

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That's not entirely true. I can feel angry to some extent, but it never shows on my face. People don't know that I'm angry until I'm literally screaming at them. But it rarely gets to that point. I usually realize what kind of face I'm making and then start laughing.

Does anyone here relate?

I can't express anger by my facial expression nor can I yell angrily, so nobody may realize I'm angry until I actually attack them, although I attempt to warn them first with words which they don't believe due to my neutral tone of voice.

One time my friend witnessed my attack on someone, and she told me that I was actually smiling at the person right before I attacked him. So no wonder they can't see it coming, if that's what's on my face. She told me it was very spooky to see a calm and smiling person suddenly do what I did, with no warning and out of the blue, and still smiling.

I don't remember ever expressing anger in my entire life. I come to situations where I think anger should be the appropriate response, but it never manifests itself as anything tangible for the other person—I'll probably just go mute. Sometimes I laugh at them uncontrollably, which only exacerbates their ire. My family always tries to tease me to make me angry, to no effect. My mother's been staring at me lately, which sounds hilarious, but is quite unnerving and makes me anxious.

I relate to the opposite, kind of. People always think I'm mad when I'm happy and talking louder as they desired. Then they wander why I'm never loud enough for them.

It's similar for me. I get dangerously intense self-anger, but it is very difficult for me to be angry with anyone else, and when I am, nothing particularly flashy happens. I just get more articulate and cynical.

same here. its rather hard to "get angry", I wouldn't want to see myself over reacting to it, so i'm not about to try. Made enough mistakes in the past with other emotions to know better.