What the hell is wrong with me!?

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I wake up from time to time either to find myself completely unable to move (sleep paralysis), or in one of those "whimper modes" where I am so frightened because I sense a presence beside my bed that I am completely immobilized by pure terror and refuse to open my eyes. these only last about 4-10 seconds (I believe) each, and each time completely scares the ever loving daylights out of me... usually to the point where I cannot sleep for several hours for fear of repetition.

I have also had Huge panic attacks, all happening at night, for no apparent reason. Where I thought something was out to get me, so I ran upstairs and went into a corner for about 15 minutes with a knife or some scissors in my hand to fend off the "intruders"...

I have read many sites and they say that have no idea what causes this outside of daily life stresses, which I normally don't have... My theory is that something horrible happened in my past, or maybe even in a past life. But I never did have any sort of terrible event in my life...

I think it has something to do with my insomnia... and my anxiety. I have no explanations of why I have a high amount of each.

idk...

I hate my anxiety...

This is Sleep Paralysis, that you have them so often is a very good reason to go see your doctor, this is clinically significant and serious.

i don't know anything more.

Yes this is a disorder of parasomnia. The feeling of an "entity" or evil presence is a common feature of the paralysis.

I used to have those regularly as a child and as a young adult. One in particular involved a tactile sense of someone placing their hand on my shoulder and speaking to me. Sleep paralysis does offer a good explanation. I know that feeling of the room being full of an evil presence. I think it was because I was internalizing all my stress.

I used to have that when I was 15; I had a couple of other problems in the time like depression. I felt like there was an entity staring and standing next to me, or one hovering above me making me scared, make alien-like sounds and even poke me in my back one time, one time the radio just turned on on maximum volume, but my sister whom I shared my room with didn't hear it so maybe it didn't happen at all. I told my psychologist who just said "oh those are hallucinations" and didn't say any more. Now I feel mad about it because it was a reeal big problem at the time and she just kind of ignored it.
But I tried to find my own ways to get rid of them, I started to sleep with ear plugs and a hoodie over my head/ears cause it always started with hearing strange noises. And I imagined someone I trusted was laying next to me, I even hugged my pillow etc. Also having my blanket over my head or a second pillow helped a bit.
I sometimes have this again but then I just focus on happy thoughts and happy songs etc.

But I'd recommend telling it to your doctor I guess

I get Sleep Paralysis when I'm trying to sleep sometimes, like I'll be almost asleep and I'll hear someone come into my room, or sense someone standing next to me, along with this huge fear/evil feeling and the inability to move.

I know part of it is linked to PTSD for me. It also seems to happen more when I'm stressed.

Now, I just try and make sure my sleeping space is one I feel safe in. I burn incense and candles and do something relaxing before bed, and lock the door and put boxes in front of it. It seems to help.