Should i finally go to a hospital

Post Reply New Topic

I can't take it anymore. I've just had a really bad, depressive breakdown. I can't stop crying.
I want to report this person for sexual harassment he has dragged me through so much f*****g s**t this semester i cannot believe this person is a professor i want to watch him burn.
How could you f*****g do that
How
What God does this
WHAT GOD
and you call ME a monster?
for WHAT? beind DIRECT and HONEST... UNLIKE you ????? WHAT IS THAT???????

I can't take it anymore
the confusion, the lies, the corruption, the greed
I cannot take it
I wish x knew how much i love him like a twin, spiritually
But there is nothing i can say to anyone
This is why the won't listen to me
This was foretold in a prophecy and in the dream that i would be scorned
Is because I love too much..I am not even good enough for ANYONE like van gogh my mental states and lack of lucidity is so bad I cannot function anymore
Like I'm becoming some kind of demented alzheimers patient I don't want to end up alone forever in a f*****g institution
There is NO REASON to be alive anymore besides making art in a f*****g box while I'm watching my brain rot away.
i CANNOT LOVE like NORMAL people
i CANNOT reciprocate like NORMAL people
My mental condition has been ENTIRELY raped
I DO NOT know what to do anymore.
I DO NOT believe going to the hospital will solve anything or taking medications but like i said im really brutally honest and honestly, i just, really, want to be dead, right now.

My family doesn't even give a s**t anymore. No one gives a s**t. They watch me break down like this. They do NOTHING

If you feel like you could be a physical danger to yourself, then you should definitely go to the hospital.

I think you're being too hard on yourself too. You live in a place with few caring people. It's difficult enough to bond with people while having ASDs, but the A holes you put up with on a regular basis are just awful. Think about it school is one part of your life. Once that's over god knows where you'll go and what you'll find. This is the part where the psych hospital can't help. They can't make the world around you better. You can make it better for yourself however by not putting up with it. You know what? Young guys suck as far as dating goes. Until they're 30 they aren't even marriage material anyway. Hell it's difficult to find that special someone in the first place so if you don't trust someone don't give them a chance with you at all especially if they don't notice you. Try not to dwell on the mistakes you've made it's not all your fault. You've got crap to deal with and the people around you don't seem to help. Focus on your art, your classes, and your interests for now that is what's deserving of your heart. As far the hospital goes if you really feel like you can't handle the depression/symptoms anymore than you should consider it, but I think right now your a little more upset about how your being treated by others from some of your other posts. It's sounds like the resources you currently have around you aren't very dependable as far as mental health goes either.

Yes, you should go into the hospital, as soon as possible.

You seem to be in a crisis depression phase, and could be best helped there. Also you don't sound entirely rational right now. They can also help you with that.

As for your family, they are probably fed up with your not taking any of their well meant advice, while at the same time, you constantly subject them to the drama queen routine. They naturally get very frustrated by all of this. They are not trained therapists, so don't dump on them any more. Get a therapist or psych doctor to help you with your troubles and keep family time on calmer topics.

My mother had mental health issues, and she would dump on people, but wouldn't follow any advice and wouldn't get professional help. I finally just had to tune her out as much as possible. Of course, that made her angry, but there was no good solution, since she would not seek help. I know a number of other relatives, and acquiantances who are also emotional dumpers. Emotional dumpers are manipulative. They need help, but all too often either out right deny they need help, or just refuse to get it.

Their behavior makes them very unpopular, but it can be helped. Unfortunately, too many dumpers dumpers avoid getting the help that will make them, if not actually happy, at least a lot less miserable, and better able to cope with life.

Please don't do that. Get the professional help you need. I am worried for you as you do seem critically depressed, and I am also worried because you don't sound entirely rational right now. Please get help. There is no need to keep suffering. Besides therapy, there are medications that can help. They may even find that you have a chemical imbalance whacking you out right now, and they can help with that. Please get help, don't wait. And remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

Go in a hospital who knows at least SOMETHING about autism, helps a lot. My advice.

Thanks everyone.. I think I will see if i can focus on my finals and until then see if i need to go to hospital... I will do a walk in with a counselor in the meantime

I'm sorry questor but I'm getting really sick of people calling me a drama queen. I honestly DO NOT WANT attention from people AT ALL IRL which is why I've always been a complete loner. I DO NOT dump this on my family very often, and when I do they tell me I'm delusional. I have had ENOUGH of people accusing me of this and that of being LABELS which i am not, because I'm a rambler, I have heard sooo much more drama come from 'normal' people, nonstop, which is why I have been pushed into this situation BECAUSE i do not STAND UP for myself
i am NOT a manipulative person because i have no social skills, at all.,
My family has a long history of DENIAL about things that actually go on
I am not denying help because I'm asking for it. I've been to counselors I've been to shrinks they do not let me speak and they do not care wether I follow through with appointments, and i probably know why.

Anyways, I shouldn't have to explain this
I just happened to be pushed into the spotlight
I really, really did not want this to happen
This is a test to teach me to deal with having so much unwanted attention

Anyways, the problem is I've had so many of these kind of episodes but it's never been this bad before. That is why, I am wondering if a hospital visit would give me an immediate acting antidepressant
or some kind if immediate relief
dear god im sorry