Joined: 30 Oct 2011 Age: 35 Gender: Male Posts: 1,955
13 Jan 2012, 11:40 pm
I've been diagnosed with psychosis not OCD like I initially thought. Still don't really know what it is but I've been diagnosed with it. But back to my point, just did a schizophrenia blocking. uhhhh oh yeah, I have the audience thing going on. or maybe I have confabulations or tourettes. I have something. Back to my point I think I'm trying to say is that it annoys me. I can't fully read what I want to read.
I forget that I have OCD or psychosis and my thoughts get in the way of fully reading what I want to read. or responding how I probably would have 4 years ago. I think its a prodrome of some sort. I forget so much and can't focus on reading so I do this. remember the nouns but not the other things sometimes.
I started drinking and am probably drunk right now. I read its good for me. I tried to do the chemical reaction but no help. Its hard to be introspective. It always seems like I can think of something beautiful to say but when it actually comes to it without my audience it is hard. I hope narcissism isn't bad because I think I have it.
Thought I would type out my thoughts as I went because I thought it would be funny. I think i bandwidth hogged but I'm fine with that.
I'm an engineering major and if i ever get passed this. its gonna be pretty funny to think I got hired as an engineer or whatever I want to major in I can't figure it out and keep the job. Wish I could keep a job.
I feel I have been accused of many things and this is the result. yippeee.
Joined: 30 Oct 2011 Age: 35 Gender: Male Posts: 1,955
14 Jan 2012, 12:01 am
I still need to get a lot off my mind. Hopefully this will let me think clearer. I hope you don't mind. After this is done I hope I will be a new person. I will probably forget I said all of this and my post won't make anysense after this for those who will connect to dots.
I want a clear mind, thats all I want!! I want to pass my classes, I want to be freed of me!