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Q. I have been married for 12 years to a 43year old woman, who has been diagnosed with bipolar. She was diagnosed in 2003 .Most of the symptoms were present throughout our married life together. She refuses to take her medication or receive any medical treatment, since her diagnoses. The last three years have been the greatest trouble for me. To be honest with you looking back on our relationship I would say the last 10 years have been a challenge. We have three children, two boys and one girl, ages 12, 10 and 5 and it has been hardest on them. In January 2006 I made the decision to leave the relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My children mean the world to me, but being in the house meant constant fighting. My children never had a moment’s peace. It was like living with a ticking time bomb of emotions, I never knew what I was coming home to an angel or devil. I felt I had given 110% to this relationship but can’t give any more. How do you describe living with someone with bipolar? You’re always walking on egg shells, always trying to please her to keep the peace, never discussing her spending habits, never talking about her verbal abuse to me or the children, never talking about why she had to quit her job as a nurse, how she couldn’t hold down a job. I look back and think what I could have done differently, I don’t know. I tried to get her help. She has been hospitalized three times, the last time in Jan. 2006. She was treated by two psychiatrists. One wanted to commit her and the other felt she was fit to go home and take care of the children, with the stipulation that she would take her medication. This was hard to swallow, because a social worker and our family doctor felt that she needed the treatment. She had already proven that she was not capable of doing that. I was devastated when they sent her home. I was hoping she would finally realize that she would get the help she deserved. This has always been her downfall, not admitting that she needs help. She never could. She always had an excuse, always blaming someone else for her illness. Why can’t she see what the rest of the world does, what she is doing to herself and our children? I need to explain to you why I felt the last three years have been as big a struggle for me. My wife?s bipolar disorder has also developed into paranoia. She is constantly claiming that people are stalking her, threatening her, everyone’s out to get her, spreading lies about her that she was stealing medication, abusing the children, being a pedophile, committing arson, the list goes on and on. What is worse is she’s actually writing down her thoughts and sending out letters to people in the community. Also professionals, like teachers, hospitals and police. Our neighbors, the children’s teachers, my own family, to my mother and sister claiming they have done horrible things. It has just been a nightmare. We live in a small community, so you can imagine what this has done to my family. Some days after I came home from work, she would have letters written on my behalf to sign, that said that I had heard or actually witnessed some of these rumors. The hardest part is how she treats the children and what its doing to them in the community. She always pushes them to do better, nothing is ever good enough for her she is always in their face when they’re involved in something, and making sure it’s up to her standards. She is always trying to keep me and my family away from the children. She is constantly telling them how horrible daddy, the grandparents and Aunties are. My children once asked me, daddy why does mummy not like our aunties and grandparents, they didn’t do anything daddy. What can I say to them? I have to always downplay situations like this. My parent?s home has been like a second home to my children, is always been like a safe place for them. They always looked after the children when we needed them too. The children have told me on numerous occasions, daddy why does mummy just sit in her room, listen to music and type on the computer. The children are left alone most of the time to play video games. When they ask mummy if they can do anything with her, most of time she yells at them. The kids also tell me that she forgets where she put stuff; also a lot of the food in the fridge is a spoiled. Parents of my children’s friends do not let their kids play with mine because a lot of them have witnessed my wife in one of her paranoia states. She asked one the parents if she was bugged and also told her how bad I was and that she felt that I had tampered with answering machine, which she send out to get looked at by the manufacture. So how do you deal with someone in this situation? I have started divorce proceedings and I’m ending the relationship, because I feel I have no other choice. What about my children? My lawyer tells me I probably won’t get full custody but I should get 50-50 custody. How can I protect my children? How do you talk to someone who will not listen, who won’t get help? I feel alone in this situation. Doctors can’t help me, her family can’t help me, I have talked to everyone I can think of and no one can give me any help. Can you? Please answer, if you can, as soon as possible.

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapi ... r-divorce/
this is the reply doctor gave to this question

I felt it resembled my problems to a large extend.
I am not diagnosed for anything i do try hard to control my mood swings
but yes definitely i am 85% of all that is written above