when did you realise

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when did you realise that you are suffering from some mental disorder??

i realised it quite late and damage already had been done...
my life collapsed totally i was by then sacked from job, relationships all broken,
lonely, isolated at age of 30 i realised that the problem was with me

visit to counsellor or psychatrist did not yield result and ultimately
self reading enlightened me to the awareness that i suffer from bipolar
borderline and aspergers.

both my parents too suffer from mental disorders............so there is 100%chances
i have one too.

i find it difficult to live on this planet i just terrified that i might end up making some
social mistake and the terror is so great that i have started avoiding people and social
situations...

I think I was around 7 when I first became concious there was something off about me.

I think I was around 7 when I first became concious there was something off about me. Though at that age I was not really sure what mental disorders were.

I knew when I was 6 that I was different. I was DXed with learning disabilities at age 8. Around 11 I realized I was BP. My grandpa had BP so I was ashamed that I had anything in common with that. In high school I definitely knew and pretty much excepted it but I didn't seek a DX because I didn't know how to communicate with people. The undiagnosed BP and undiagnosed AS lead to two suicide attempts after high school. I haven't tried since getting an AS DX and no one in my family gives me the benefit of the doubt that AS is worse than BP for me. I even suspect I'm a little SA, not just BP.

12-13 (don't remember which too long ago) for sure. I don't know my mom's side history because she was adopted but my dad's side has mental disorders run there. Also autism runs heavily on his side. I had severe depression and psychosis at 12-13 then again at 16 and constantly after I graduated college at 22-23 (don't remember which). I am 28 now. With my friends I wouldn't lose them (unless something happened to them) because we understand each other and we both have mental illness. I have always been off though and weird. I have been anxious since birth and not including that in my ages. All during school I was anxious. I believe I have always had an anxiety disorder. I also believe my dad has an anxiety disorder besides his Asperger's Syndrome. In fact during college my dad had to see a psychologist / psychiatrist and take pills. I am doubting my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder now because it is rare for me to have hallucinations. Very minor when I do get them and that can happen in anxiety and depression. My thoughts are more depressive and anxious than schizophrenic. There are times where I do get grandiose thoughts (delusions) like in mania but I don't do any of the dangerous parts of it. That is when I actually think positive but that is not me. When I start thinking overly positive that is a warning sign believe it or not. In normal people that would just be in the middle or even happy. Not me. It is because I could win a million dollars and still will find the negative and sometimes even be depressed (because there can be something else going wrong like health wise). Right now speaking of health, there is a major problem in our family..... like usual. There is a very strong chance that my mom has cancer along with the million of other health conditions she has. I just know it. Sometimes I am more of a doctor than the doctors themselves. I predict horrible things. See the depression and anxiousness that I experience? Even without something so extreme i would be feeling this way. The thing that is holding me together right now is my art (one of my obsessions and talents). I predict that I will lose everyone and everything soon. How much longer will it be? I don't know how much longer I can take this.

When I was 11 1/2 and I started having full-blown, nonstop visual image obsessions that I couldn't control nor stop. It was positively frightening, and not knowing anything about neuropsychiatric disorders at the time, let alone OCD, I truly thought I was losing my mind and becoming schizophrenic. Not being able to control your thought content is a very, very scary thing...

When they diagnosed me, I had a hunch, even though I didn't know the term psychosis yet, or anything like that.