do you hate it when people tell you to be happy?

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I do. I don't think I can just force myself to happy. I don't think people can do it much in general, but I might be wrong............................................

Yes there are times I can't feel happy so why be a big phony-takes to much energy

Depressions occur, when Situations are to much for the brain to deal with it.

Normaly when something negative happen, you think over it and it helps for next time. It also helps when your brain tells you, when a situation is unpleasent to stay away, but with depressions this gets chronic.

But the brain is like any other muscle. If you train it, to think negative, it gets "bigger" and your brain "learns" to think negativ.
It's not easy to come out of such a negative circle and sometimes it takes years, but you can try to deal with it in a way that you can handle it and the negative situations don't overwhealm you.
People who learnd to come out of depressions, aren't depressive anymore, but still need longer to recover from negative situations than "normal" people.

My family seems to like people acting happy. So I've tried to much of my life and covered up mental illness symptoms. My dad was a local politician - county commissioner (still is, but probably will be getting out next year because of redistricting issues) - so he knew how to flash smiles at the right times.

Yes it is rather aggrevating......and makes me angry on top of being depressed.

My son, aged 14, gets really really cross if I tell him to cheer up, so I don't do it anymore! He seems to be grumpy a lot of the time and still looks grumpy even when he isn't.

I know I don't feel much happier when people tell me to cheer up or be my "happy self". In fact, I feel worse because I know I'm not living up to how the want me to be.

Me too.

"The cure for depression is to just cheer up, darn it!"

Har har... I actually had a therapist tell me that. I came in depressed out of my mind, and that was their advice: cheer up. I didn't laugh. What scared me was, neither did they. They were serious.

I don't really have people tell me to cheer up or be happy. But people do ask me what's on my mind if I'm looking out of sorts. From a therapeutic standpoint the latter is a much better approach. These days if someone told me to be happy, I'd tell them to grow an extra arm.

That would disturb me a bit....I would be worried they would try to use behavior modification on me.....to try to force me to 'cheer up' I would be quite angry.

Ok, I think Sweetleaf put a finger on why telling someone to be happy gives me the willies: it's like the scene that happens in a bad sci-fi horror movie right before the main character realizes EVERYONE around them is a pod person. "Why are you upset? Be happy... Be like us... Jooooin us... Haaapppyyyy..." GAAAAAH! Run for your life!

Besides, I'm pretty sure a pod person could grow that extra arm. So maybe I shouldn't say that the next time someone tells me to be happy.

In my experience, people tell other people to be happy and "cheer up" for their own benefit. They're uncomfortable by negative circumstances and emotions and may be dealing with their own issues. I've been told happiness is a choice, but I disagree that all situations can be given a positive "spin".

I never tell people to be happy or "cheer up." It's insulting, trivial and selfish. People have bad moods and bad circumstances. I accept that people aren't always going to have plastic smiles while just trying to survive, and it's not healthy to smile everything away like it's problem solved.

ok, I feel I should defend myself here.
Telling my son to cheer up used to work when he was younger, but not when he reached his teenage years so, as I said, I don't say it to him anymore.
I agree it is annoying and insulting for older kids and adults but not so much for younger kids.

I think it's wrong of people to expect you to be be happy around them all the time. People who make me miserable when I'm around them because they are too controlling, have a tenancy of telling me to cheer up. A lot of them don't know that in the past I've had melancholic depression and I'm also very susceptible to suicidal thoughts when I am depressed. People telling me to behave differently often makes me feel even worse and often it tips the scale towards major depression for me. My cure was to avoid people like that as much as possible. I lost some friends/relationships for the sake of my well being. I've noticed that lots of guys mistaken me for being a negative disinterested dispassionate person. I'm not like that when you get to know me. I am passionate about my personal interests and I don't pick up on social ques so I don't respond the same way as NT girls. I've only ever met 1 man in the whole wide world who actually understood me. It makes me sad we couldn't be together (T_T)
PS don't tell me to cheer up or I won't be your friend

No. I think one of the best advice people have ever given me is to smile. I think it's pretty bad socially to walk around looking sad or angry when you're not especially people with AS tend to scare some people with the flat affect..

I just ignore the people who want to call names like psychopath, split personality, no identity etc... I've heard it all... Gotta push through the filth. Push through the filth with a smile. Got to remember that the negativity these people are projecting onto yourself is just a projection of their insecurities.

I would say.. for people with AS... What works best with me is to walk around with a funny or cute idea in my head something that would make me laugh or grin.

I'm apathetic when people tell me to be happy. They might as well have said 'be a polar bear'.