Does anyone here have Social Anxiety Disorder?

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My sister (who is NT) has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. Although I get anxious due to Aspergers, it is more a permanent underlying anxiety with me, whereas she suffers from very acute anxiety about certain situations. I was wondering if someone could tell me a little about what it is like, so I can help her? She finds it difficult to talk to people about how she feels, and we live hundreds of miles apart so it is difficult for me to ask her.

Any advice or information about books, therapies or experiences on medication would be very helpful and much appreciated.

I've never been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (or anything else for that matter), but the way I've felt about certain social situations has been so bad that I've avoided them altogether. I'm pretty certain I do have it. I'm not talking about avoiding going to a party, I'm talking about deciding not to do my honours year at university or putting off making that important phonecall at work (until I started to lose sleep over it) or not attending an interview, where I was almost assured the position, etc. I could go on. The choice about not doing my honours year has had a huge impact. Because of this, I ended up in an unsuitable job, which I hated. There was major social anxiety in the job too, so I never managed to escape my fears anyway and I also had the added regrets of not completing my studies.

When my daughter was born, I gave up work. Since then, there has been very few social situations that I've had to attend. I can pick and choose most things I do, other than anything related to my daughter's health and education. I don't think my anxiety is gone, it just has very little reason to surface. I go to parents' council meetings, but I can't speak. If I consider saying something, I can feel my heart pounding, as I try to pick the right moment and try to decide where to look. I end up never saying a word.

My husband's best friend has diagnosed social anxiety disorder. He has been on medication, which has horrible side effects for him - I don't know what's worse. His anxiety got so bad at work that he decided to chuck in a good career and is retraining as a mechanic. He's also been going to acting classes, which he thinks have helped somewhat. I hope it works out for him.

I'm sorry I have no answers, just questions.

Most people drain me of energy. I have a hard time paying attention to what they are saying because I am so distracted by their "presence." This makes me anxious. It becomes a vicious cycle. I'm so distracted by trying to pay attention that I can't pay attention. Eventually you just want to avoid the situation all together.

I have both Asperger's and Social Anxiety Disorder, so I'm not sure how far one overlaps the other. Medications have helped, but I think I have just accepted that some situations are going to be painful and I have to get on with it anyway. I try to avoid situations where there are more than me and the other person, though. The dynamics of three or more people are too complicated.

Hi, I'm NT and I have social anxiety disorder, used to get panic attacks in certain public situations, particularly in classrooms, lecture theatres, on buses. Basically I was afraid of being embarassed by behaving the 'wrong' way, I was also afraid of being trapped and powerless. The college doctor prescribed antidepressents (citalopram) which I found helpful in regaining control of my life as I had gotten quite depressed over the whole situation and they do help keep the panic attacks at bay. Equally effective was that I started exercising and gave up too much caffeine and sugar. I would highly recommend exercise such as swimming and running to your sister (not just walking, though that helps too) as a means of getting the stress out and raising one's seratonin levels. She might not feel comfortable going out to a gym or the pool due to her anxiety, but at least if you feel anxious there you can sort of get it out of your system by exercising and it might help if she starts going with a trusted friend. It also helped me to get involved in a poetry group as it turned out I was quite good at poetry and it helped me gain confidence and learn to be an individual, so maybe she could get involved in art, poetry or music if she's that way inclined. It's very important to have a friend you cna trust or even a counsellor. And she should know she's not 'weird' or 'strange'...loads of people have this problem, the world is full of all kinds of people. If someone has diabetes and they have trouble dealing with situations others have no problem with noone would blame them and the same goes for social anxiety. Sometimes by 'normalising' it it can seem less of an issue as mainly one is worried about what others would think of them. So it is important to tell trusted friends. While she should take her doctor's advice, your sister should be careful if the doctor prescribes tranquilisers like Vallium in the longterm, they can be effective for an occasional situation like a bad panic attack but they are highly addictive, the anti-depressents are less addictive as far as I know. She might choose not to take any medicaiton, I don't know. Counselling is useful enough, a counsellor taught me a special type of breathing to prevent hyperventilation from panic attacks. It involves breathing out through the mouth until your stomach feels empty of air, breathing slowly in through the nose,holding it, breathing slowly out through the mouth, pausing and on again. I'm sure there are internet sites which explai nthis better. I found it very helpful in gaining control over my body during a panic attack. Best of luck to you both!

Thank you everyone for your replies. There does seem to be an AS/SAD overlap, it is hard to untangle it all. I certainly avoid almost social interactions and find people generally exhausting and confusing. My sister is great in many social situations, but simply crumbles in others. She feels she is missing out, whereas I have long expected to spend most of my life indoors.

I think sleep is very important. The more time i spend with people the more sleep and rest i need to recover. Unfortunately, the amount of rest i need starts
To take away a lot of time from personal life, which i think is also important for staying healthy. Its always a balancing act. Good diet is also a factor i believe, as your metabolism increases as anxiety is hight.

Career choice is also important. If you have the option, try something different that u feel more comfortable with or dont have to interact with people so much.

I have horrible social anxiety disorder. When I was younger and I had to do a presentation in front of the class I usually panicked and either found some way to get out of it or if I did it, I'd go up to the front and read right off of the paper and talk really fast until it was done. I've had social anxiety my whole life. I'd get sick almost every morning that I had to go to school or go to work, especially if there was something like a presentation that day,

I went through a phase where my hands would shake uncontrollably at the table while I had to eat in front of others. It was definitely noticeable. I'd get panic attacks and thus started refusing to eat at the table with other people for awhile. I've gone to therapy about my social anxiety and a day program.

There is pretty good therapy out there, just talk to your doctor and you can get a referral. There's special grounding exercises I can teach you. There's medication that helps. I'm on 300 mg of Effexor XR for my depression and Seroquil is a tranquilizor to help me sleep and to calm me down. I also take Clonazapam 3 times a day which is a benzo. Benzos help a lot but they are extremely addicting so unles your sister's social anxiety is incredibly bad that she can barely function in life then I don't recommend them although I found that they work the best for social anxiety disorder. The reason I take benzos is because when I didn't my whole body would shake and my hands would tremble uncontrollably in social situations so if it's really bad for her then maybe benzos would be a good option. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is really good, especially when you're with a group of people who have similar problems as you.

I never spoke about ASD in my post above. I'm pretty certain my social anxiety is due to a fear of feeling humiliated. I used to get laughed at a lot when I was a child and a student. The reasons for this are a bit unclear, but I'm pretty certain I have an undiagnosed ASD or inattentive ADHD (or more likely a combination), just like my daughter. Like most on WP, I'm a bit unusual and a target for bullies. When I read in class, there were sniggers and people making faces at me. And when I spoke to other children, they would sometimes become aggressive, for no reason I knew of. I knew my approach or the way I spoke or something about me was laughable (I just didn't know what it was and how to change it). This left me with very low self esteem. I'm also highly sensitive and could not just shrug it off. So, I thought about it a lot and felt sick with worry about how I was perceived. I'm sure my social anxiety is due to this.

Thank you again for your replies.

Vomelche - You are right about the sleep, it's so important. If you're anxious you can't sleep, and lack of sleep can make you feel even more anxious so it can be a vicious circle.

LostGirl - I think Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sounds like a great idea, I'll get her a book and suggest she speaks to the doctor about it. I'm glad your medication works for you, but I think you are right about the benzos - I don't think she needs them. If you want to PM me about the grounding exercises that would be great.

Mummy of Peanut - Sorry I just presumed because I know you mentioned maybe being on the spectrum before. It sounds like you had a horrible time at school, no wonder you feel the way you do. I was laughed at all the way through but I was too oblivious to realise it. I suppose I've got to the stage now where I'm so used to being laughed at that I don't really feel anything about it any more. I'm not interested in what people think of me.

I don't know if anything in particular set my sister off but she was always quite a shy, quiet and hard working girl and I think she was bullied or excluded by the other kids. I feel awful that my family didn't realise how much she was struggling. When she was a child I don't think she got all the attention she needed because I was quite a lot of work for my parents.

I believe mental illness/anxiety is infectious among NTs. I think on wiki it said families with a child with autism have higher anxiety. That is certainly true for my family.

I find sometimes I pass on my anxiety / nervous ticks to other healthy people when I am present. Its kind of weird and funny to see them mimic my symptoms, but i feel bad about it, i think some people that happened with got ill for real after..

Maybe people with certain genetics are more susceptible?