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SilkySifaka
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09 Sep 2012, 5:37 am

Sorry I haven't been around WP much but now I have slunk back to ask a question.

Since the end of July I have felt very depressed and anxious. I've lost interest in everything, and have stopped talking properly to my boyfriend (which is very out of character). I have felt suicidal, but haven't attempted suicide although I have self harmed. I can't think clearly and thoughts keep disappearing mid-sentence. I've been depressed and anxious before so I wasn't overly worried.

But the last two weeks have been different. When I go out I feel as if everyone is looking at me, and at work I am sure everyone is whispering about me because they don't like me. I have seen angry faces in one of the pictures in our bedroom. My boyfriend says these things are not really happening and are all in my mind. I have had similar issues to this before: about 5 years ago I got a voice in my head telling me to drink bleach, which I did. I was given valium and anti-depressants and I got better. At the time I didn't mention the voice to my doctor because I didn't want to go to hospital. I've also smelt things in the past that were not there, leading me to do bizarre things to get 'clean'.

I am going to the doctor on Wednesday, and I am not sure if I should mention about people looking at me or not. Should I just mention feeling anxious and depressed instead? I really do not want to go to hospital and lose my job.

I suspect I have AS but have no diagnosis, and I can't see how AS would affect this at any rate.

Any advice much appreciated, thank you.



Raziel
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09 Sep 2012, 5:48 am

Tell your doctor everything, also that you had a simmilar situation years befor.
But also tell him if you don't want to got to the hospital and what exactly you want. :D


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lostgirl1986
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09 Sep 2012, 9:38 am

I don't want to give you a diagnosis but you may even have schizo affective disorder or even schizophrenia but that's just two possibilities out of many. Sometimes anxiety and depression can really make you seem out of it if you're in your lowest of lows, if that is the case then you need to go to the hospital immediately. Either way you need to seek medical help and tell your doctor exactly when you just posted. They'll hopefully give you the help you need.



Last edited by lostgirl1986 on 09 Sep 2012, 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JoeRose
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09 Sep 2012, 10:23 am

Hey there,

I think you should tell your doctor everything that you've posted here. If you are having difficulty communicating/expressing yourself you could take a print out of this post and show it to the doctor.

I'm not saying that you are experiencing a form of psychosis but I believe that you may be in a very early stage of one. And if you are - the best thing you can do is get treatment early. Early treatment for this type of thing could cause your symptoms to completely remit. I'd advise that it is best to nip this in the bud and get the support you need just in case this does turn out to be a form of psychosis.

I wish you all the best, and let me know how you get on/what you decide to do. PM me if you need to, I'll return the favour of the support you gave me a couple of months ago.

Joe



SilkySifaka
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09 Sep 2012, 11:41 am

Thank you everyone, you are all quite right. Deep down I do know that I am not well and it is best to be honest with the doctors.

I hope your health is better Joe and I may well take you up on your offer of PMs. I think the idea of writing it all down is a good one, as all my thoughts are a bit jumbled.



MrStewart
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10 Sep 2012, 12:07 am

Just want to add here that there is nothing in your original post that would cause a doctor to want to have you committed to hospital care. They will only do that if they believe that you are an immediate threat either to yourself or to others. It doesn't sound to me like you're in that mindspace at the moment, so yes, spill to your doc without hesitation. Maybe see about meds, maybe see about proper diagnosis for you.



Kalinda
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10 Sep 2012, 12:27 am

True. It's actually hard for me to get hospitalized. I tried a few times this past year due to anxiety and they didn't think it was urgent. I even called 911 on myself like a total idiot over a panic attack, and then my mom whose Bipolar picked me up and took me home. I guess I have technically been hospitalized for an hour inside the waiting room, woops, there goes my gun ownership rights. I think, um, not sure. I don't like guns anyways. I just want to sleep for a period of time and not be disturbed. But hospitals aren't actually that relaxing, so it should only be used as a last resort. Some places are better than others.


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John_Browning
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10 Sep 2012, 1:13 am

SilkySifaka wrote:
Sorry I haven't been around WP much but now I have slunk back to ask a question.

Since the end of July I have felt very depressed and anxious. I've lost interest in everything, and have stopped talking properly to my boyfriend (which is very out of character). I have felt suicidal, but haven't attempted suicide although I have self harmed. I can't think clearly and thoughts keep disappearing mid-sentence. I've been depressed and anxious before so I wasn't overly worried.

But the last two weeks have been different. When I go out I feel as if everyone is looking at me, and at work I am sure everyone is whispering about me because they don't like me. I have seen angry faces in one of the pictures in our bedroom. My boyfriend says these things are not really happening and are all in my mind. I have had similar issues to this before: about 5 years ago I got a voice in my head telling me to drink bleach, which I did. I was given valium and anti-depressants and I got better. At the time I didn't mention the voice to my doctor because I didn't want to go to hospital. I've also smelt things in the past that were not there, leading me to do bizarre things to get 'clean'.

I am going to the doctor on Wednesday, and I am not sure if I should mention about people looking at me or not. Should I just mention feeling anxious and depressed instead? I really do not want to go to hospital and lose my job.

I suspect I have AS but have no diagnosis, and I can't see how AS would affect this at any rate.

Any advice much appreciated, thank you.

Consider even sharing this post with your doctor. It's very much treatable, though if you put it off you cold not only lose your job and bf, but you could also lose the presence of mind to assess and make decisions about this problem you are having without involuntary commitment!


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SilkySifaka
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14 Sep 2012, 2:08 pm

I went to the doctor, but I found it hard to explain the problem. I had written down a list of my symptoms but he barely looked at it and has prescribed me 15mg of Mirtazapine, which is an anti-depressant. I have had two doses and I feel no different, except that I am stuttering even more than I was (the stuttering only started a few weeks ago, I've never stuttered before). In two weeks time I am due to go back and this time I will hopefully see a different doctor, and perhaps he or she will listen a bit more.

Thank you again for all your replies.