Are they going to admit me??

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OK. So I have taken 5 overdoses in 3 weeks, 3 of them requiring hospital treatment.

Although I often think about suicide, I cannot say for certain whether these were suicide attempts or a form of self-harm or a mixture of the two.

Although my GP has in the past alluded to me possibly going into psychiatric hospital "for a rest", my psychiatrist has always been adamant that the the environment of psychiatric hospital would not be helpful to me. I can't comment as I have never been in, but the whole idea of it terrifies me.

The psychiatric liaison nurse I spoke to at A&E yesterday after my treatment for paracetamol overdose suggested that I start back on my medication with it on daily dispense (so I don't get the "take it all at once!" voice that led to the first overdose). She said she would speak to my GP about it, but she hadn't been able to get through to him before I left the hospital (she was happy for me to leave from a psychiatric point of view, and the medical doctors were happy with me to leave from a medical perspective).

So anyway, I left the hospital yesterday not really knowing what the deal was with my medication/prescription etc. I haven't felt able to contact my GP practice to find out what's going with it.

I had an appointment with my Occupational Health doctor today, and told her the above. She called my GP on my behalf while I was there to try to clear up what I need to do with regard to my medications. My GP called her back 15 minutes later while I was still there and asked me to agree to come to a meeting on Tuesday with both my GP & psychiatrist.

I agreed because I'm pretty compliant, but I am very worried about this. Do you think they are trying to section me (admit me to psychiatric hospital against my will)? Or that they want to admit me "voluntarily"? Or am I jumping to conclusions and they don't want to admit me at all? I can't think of any other reason why my psychiatrist would travel to my GP surgery to meet with me at the same time as my GP if it weren't to get me to go into hospital. If so, why would she have changed her mind about the environment of the hospital?

Has anyone had joint meeting with their GP & psychiatrist before????

I have an ASD diagnosis, and also a diagnosis of Emotional Dysregulation Disorder (which leads to a tentative diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which I disagree with).

Really worried.

It sounds like you're in the UK and I'm guessing the system is similar to ours in the US. I've had these meetings before and it's to discuss options, not admit me. You are an adult and you will always have the final say in what happens to you, that's the law.

Question is, do you want to be admitted? Really? Because with that many ODs something is going on there that would definitely benefit from intensive care and they understand your ASD so I'm thinking you'd be in a private room and have access to common areas by choice rather than being forced into group therapy. I know you said your psychiatrist said the environment might not be good for you, but your life is at stake here and I'm just thinking that maybe they could make the environment comfortable or offer more intensive services on an outpatient basis.

**I've been inpatient... a few times... in the US (so it may be different but it sounds like UK has a better system maybe I'm wrong); it's not that bad. Very structured, intensive therapy, art and crafts, you can have visitors, and you can be medicated and observed so that you don't have to deal with normal life on new medication. I want to try a anti-convulsant mood stabilizer at this point and am considering just what you are here too. I really wouldn't mind a week in a psych hospital to get sorted out even though changing my routine and environment freaks me out. (I also have anxiety disorder).

Hope that helps some.

Thanks kirayng - there is lots I want to respond but I can't seem to clarify my thoughts enough to write them down at the moment.

On a tangent though, I was interested in what anti-convulsant mood stabiliser you are wanting to try. Have you been on one before? I had been taking lamotrigine for this purpose for a few months until a couple of weeks ago (when I took all my tablets at once along with my other meds).

Perhaps you should at least talk to them about your options.

I would say that 2 of the 3 overdoses that put you in the hospital would count as suicide attempts rather then self harming.
After the first time you knew what you were doing could kill you or at least hurt you bad enough that you would go to a hospital.
If the first is the case then it sounds to me like you're only still alive because the hospital kept you alive.

If nothing changes one of these times your not going to make it to the hospital in time though.

Couldn't come close to telling you what could be done let alone should be done.
That's up to you.

To kirayng: Not entirely true. The law of England and Wales includes a provision to detain and treat mentally ill persons without their consent under some circumstances i.e. they cannot refuse the treatment. It is only allowed to happen when somebody is likely to harm themselves or others so repeated suicide attempts could result in this happening. Other circumstances it could be used for might include, for example, an individual with uncontrolled psychotic symptoms who has demonstrated a tendency towards violence. You can read about it here:

http://www.rethink.org/living_with_ment ... of_th.html


To the OP: I do not know what their intentions are. In my opinion you should ask them or at least have a trusted person ask them on your behalf if you can't do it yourself. Call the doctor's surgery and ask to speak to your GP. Considering you are not psychotic and in a state which would cause you to be unable to comprehend what was going on then I assume they would tell you if sectioning you was on their mind. I don't think they would be insensitive enough to spring that on somebody that they know has an ASD with no prior warning. So I don't think you are going to be sectioned.

Thanks all.

I cannot call them and ask about their intentions as I don't do well with the phone and I hate getting other people to make enquiries on my behalf because it makes me feel doubly useless (though I was relieved when the OH doc called my GP on Friday to make enquiries about my medication because I was in a complete panic about not knowing what was going on and it was obstructing the progress of my appointment with the OH doc - which unsurprisingly ended with the conclusion that I am currently unfit for work, and with me bawling like a baby because I want more than anything for my life to be "normal" again and to do my job).

So I guess I'll just show up to the meeting on Tuesday. I personally don't think I am sick enough that they would have cause to section me ... but it still seems unusual for the consultant psychiatrist to come to my GP surgery for a joint meeting with me. Terrified does not begin to describe it ... meeting with two doctors at once feels overwhelming, even without the possibility of hospitalisation hanging around in my brain.

Do I want to be admitted? Honestly? I don't know. The whole idea of it - the change to my routines, the unfamiliarity and unknowns of it all really, really, really scare me and I cannot see how that would help me. But at the same time, I am utterly exhausted trying to "keep life together" and it might be helpful to have a break from that to give me fighting chance of working on getting better (I think at the moment I am too exhausted for that, the effort is too much and it is easier to just give up). I don't even like thinking about this that much because I'm worried I'll persuade myself it's a good idea and then they'll not offer it as an option and it'll just mess me up (if I can get any more messed up than I am already).

They might just want to discuss what meds to put me on and how I'm to get get them, but I don't know why they wouldn't just discuss that with each other on the phone and then have the GP deal with it ... like they normally do.

I don't know really, just want to try a few to see if they help me with emotional regulation.

Hope today finds you in a better place.

Overdosed before meeting, which apparently was cancelled and rearrange for late tomorrow afternoon but no one told me anyway. Am now in hospital and they are transferring me to psychiatric hospital tomorrow if I am medically fit. Rather scared, but am going voluntarily.

I wish you luck. Please be well, and keep us updated

Well due to a lack of beds they ended up discharging me instead of moving me to patch hospital. I am now at home and trying really hard not to hurt myself again before I meet with psychiatrist and GP tomorrow morning.

And how does it going to continue?
How often do you see your psychiatrist?

No idea what will happen at or after the meeting. Right now I'm just trying to make it to the meeting without doing anything stupid beforehand. I am really struggling and have hurt myself several times in no so serious ways today in order to prevent myself doing worse and ending up in hospital again.

I don't get to see the psychiatrist very often. She's referred me for psychotherapy (good old NHS waiting list ...) and basically absolved herself of seeing me in the meantime. I last saw her after the first overdose a few weeks ago having not seen her for a couple of months prior to that (she was happy with my meds and did not think she could really offer anything more) and she said she would try to speed up the psychotherapy referral and that it was up to me not to kill myself before it came through.

Problem is, I don't feel like I'm in control of my actions any more ... and don't know if I am able to not kill myself until it comes through even with the best of intentions to do so.

If you are suicidal is there no way to go to an hospital?
I mean you wrote about your situation, but I don't really get it.

Please tell how the meeting went.

I have been treated in A&E four times in the last 3 and half weeks due to taking overdoses. In the UK (unless you can afford to pay privately, which I cannot), you cannot be admitted to psychiatric hospital without the say so of a psychiatrist who has assessed your current mental status. After my last overdose the duty psychiatrist at A&E felt I was a high suicide risk and decided that once I was medically fit I should be transferred to psych hospital. Unfortunately when I was declared medically fit, there were no beds available at the psych hospital. So they sent me home with an appointment two days later with my own psychiatrist (which is this morning). Frankly I don't want to go to meet with my psychiatrist because I don't believe she has any way to help me. I am alone with this and although I didn't attempt suicide yesterday it is still high in my thoughts. But I will go because I said I would go and I am a stupid stickler for showing up for appointments. Maybe there will be something she can do. I don't know.

Well I was right there was nothing she could do.

My psychiatrist still believes that psych hospital would be a bad environment for me, I have no idea if she's right or not. I don't want to be in hospital because the idea of it really scares me, but at the same time I don't trust myself not to try to hurt myself/kill myself again and if I were in hospital there might be less chance of that actually happening and my husband would be less worried (and thus less suffocating) because I would be somewhere "safe". I honestly don't know.

Left the meeting with a follow up appointment with psychiatrist in a months time and a daily dispense prescription for meds so I can't get enough to overdose on (unless, of course, I don't take them and store them up... it's irrelevant anyway because only 2 of my recent overdoses were prescription meds, the rest were OTC).

She said she'd try to organise some weekly support for me in the meantime but I've seen her efforts of trying to organise stuff so frankly I think that's a non-starter.

I was terrified the first time I went to hospital. I curled up in the corner of my room with my arms wrapped around my knees, rocking back and forth. Then I took to shouting at the staff. That was because I was psychotic and paranoid at the time.

However, when I got used to the environment, and my medication kicked in, it did feel very safe. There is usually a strict routine and set of regulations, so find that out asap and you should be right. The thing that might worry you is the new patients coming in in a psychotic state - they can be quite unpredictable.