Missing time! no memory of it!

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I have had times in my past when i "blacked out". i would be doing something and suddenly find myself in a different place with no memory how i got there or what happened during my black out.

I have been told what i do when i am blacked out by others who observed me during these black outs.

My god mother said i spoke fluent elvish ( a language form lord of the rings) i tried to learn it but i couldn't but obviously some part of me knows it very well.

I also got in a fight with a girl and had to be restrained by to guys who could hardly hold me back because i had allot of strength. I came out of the black out and i heard myself saying "let me at her let me! rip her face off!" I wasn't even angry at her because to my knowledge she hadn't done anythign wrong. but some part of me was mad i guess.

I would also listen to the radio and it would suddenly skip to a different song in the middle of another song. I thought my radio was broken so i recorded the songs and they did not skip to another song half way through the current song.

The whole song played then another one came on after. but i was not there during that time. I was blacked out and have no memory of the event, i didn't even know i was missing time. the only thing that alerted me was that the song seemed to skip ahead. but in reality i just was not there for that period of time. it is like i was paused and time went past without my knowledge. and then i get un-paused with no knowledge that i had even blacked out or that any time had passed at all.

has this ever happened to you? it is not normal dissociation.
I dont know what it is and no doctor will take me seriously. i have been tested for seizures and i dont have any.

do you have this? what is it? it hasn't happened in awhile to my knowledge but then i dont usually know when they happen. unless there is something to indicate time has gone past or i am in a different place or something.

also , sometimes when i have these black outs i have been told by others that i dont do anything. like i blacked out when i was stirring chocolate milk and when i came back everyone was staring at me. i asked what they were staring at (cause i didn't know any thing strange had happened cause i wasn't there and had no memory of time passing). they said i just stopped talking and continued stirring my milk.

it usually occurs when i am stressed or upset..

have you ever been tested for seizures? that could be an absence seizure

There is a rare type of epilepsy called Temporal Lobe that could cause this type of time loss.

You said "it's not normal dissociation", does that mean that you are already familiar with dissociative identity disorder? (Click bold text for link.)

I suggest that, if possible, you seek assistance from a neurologist or psychologist who has experience with dissociative disorders. If the doctor you worked with previously did not believe you, and you have the insurance coverage or money available, keep looking.

I used to have such time loss when I was younger and couldn't control my anger.
I'd go into a rage and whatever I did I couldn't remember later. I think it's called a meltdown here.
Now I avoid getting angry if I can because of that though it hasn't happened even when I do since grade school.
I did not experience anything that I know of such as speaking in made up languages though.
Such memory lapses must be a little scary to you.

What do you mean it is not normal dissociation. What is normal dissociation. What is normal depression, what is normal anything???! !! !!

Dissociation is exactly what you have described and it is somthing I have, it is a part of my day to day life, along with autism, just to add to my uniqueness!! ! The most common dissociative disorders is dissociative disorder not otherwise specified, as the vast majority of people do not fit into the diagnostic catergories described in DSM. Dissociative Identity Disorder is having other personalites take over and it is very rare, it is more likely that people have a partial DID.

There are various different dissociative disorders, just like there are various mood disorders, anxiety disorders, etc. There is no "normal" dissociation, anymore than there is more "normal" anything. Dissociation is not normal, and that is why it is labelled a mental illness, along with many other conditions.

The mental health system HATE's dissociation as it is made worse not better by medication and the only thing they want to believe in is medication. You need to find a psychologist who is experienced in treating dissociative disorders. The International Association of Dissocation would be a good place to start. There are specialist dissociative clinics in the US that are open to people without insurance, etc, but whether they are anywhere near you is unknown.

http://www.isst-d.org/education/faq-dis ... #dissocamn

http://www.isst-d.org/find-a-therapist/ ... rapist.htm

Mental illnesses are defined on a constillation of symptoms, symptoms that every single person displays to some minor degree. Depression can be defined as mild sadness at one level to people committing suicide at the profound level. Dissociation is similar, at a really basic mild level it is day dreaming, but for others it involves losing junks of time. Regardless of what it is called, the fact is you do dissociate and you do deserve to recieve proper support for that.

For me personally I do dissociate at an extreme level, I do loose junks of time and have absolutely no idea of what has gone on. My therapist has said that I dissocaite to the level of someone with DID, but that I do not go into other personalities. She also says that what I have is actually very common and in many ways is actually more disabling than DID because I do not have another personality taking over, I just go blank and hence I have wondered onto roads, turned the stove on, etc and had no idea it was happening. I have almost been run over way too many times, and have caused the stove to catch fire hundreds of times. I dissociate to the point that I do not even know the smoke alarm is going off, when I am fully awake!! What it is caused is really of no importance in helping me in day to day life. I do need a competent therapist, that I have so that I can deal with the underlying problems.

People rarely if ever meet a diagnositc crieteria 100%, they are diagnosed on what fits there symptoms best!! Any competent mental health professional, will treat the whole person and not just say you have this disorder and hence need XXX medicaiton, or XXX sessions of XXX therapy. People are not that simple, they are incredibly complex and need the whole of them supported, regardless of the name that may be given to their issues.