I've been ruminating a lot lately about things from the past

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They are mostly bad things which cause me to feel embarrassed and crazy. I've been struggling with schizoaffective disorder for 8 years now, and the thoughts which I am ruminating about are regarding things I've said and done in my worst days back then. I have been taking medication regularly since 2007, and my condition has gradually improved since then. I still have paranoia, social and generalized anxiety, and (sometimes) depression symptoms. Throughout the day, I try to focus on things which keep my mind occupied and which make me happy, and I find that most of the time it is not terribly difficult to ignore the intrusive thoughts. However, sometimes I become a bit overwhelmed by them. I should probably speak to my psychiatrist about upgrading the dosage of my meds, or possibly even taking a different medication.

Hi, I have read that about medication, that it sometimes requires some tinkering. (I struggle with bouts of depression, have not yet tried antidepressants.)

It sounds like you're doing pretty good, focusing on things which keep your mind occupied and make you happy. Regarding the intrusive thoughts, I think there's a lot to the zen approach, okay, it's just a thought, it will float around and at a time of it's own accord, it will float out. I'm not going to give the thought extra power by trying to push it out. I am also a big believer in adding free positives to my life, maybe trying to learn guitar or advance in chess, perhaps especially when I have "problems" which I am also dealing with.

I like the idea of journaling and consciously underdoing it. For example, I have my method of 0, 1, 2, or 3. That is, when I'm in an up energy period, which for me is the morning even if I wake up late, I might write up to three things, which are single sentences or maybe, maybe a short paragraph. For example, I might write "I wish _______ had been more responsible." And I'll leave it at that. It's sometimes things I can say to others in a centered way, and at other times, things I'd rather keep private. And I might be reading a technical book (or studying taxes when I thought of doing that) and this serves to relax me, and it's perfectly okay to write zero things. I give myself permission to do that, too.