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Jamesy
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11 Jan 2013, 7:21 pm

3 years ago I punched my dad twice in the face. Nearly breaking his cheekbone. At the time I was under a lot of stress/depression at college. My dad made an insulting remark too me "clean yourself for that project interview at college so you look respectable". I am quite self centered so that comment made ,me angry

I am strong I didn't realise how hard the punches were and I did not intend too hurt him that bad. I am not trying too pin the blame on my dad but he can be say some hurtful things sometimes.... in fact my bro has gotten physical with my dad on some occasions

What do you make of that kind of behaviour? I am unemployed now but I fear if I start high stress job that I might do something that horrific again :(



Shizz
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11 Jan 2013, 8:46 pm

why are you not able to control your feelings? It sounds to me like you snapped because your dad makes you feel like a loser, but that comment was pretty innocent. Maybe it was the tone of voice and body language that conveyed other messages you can't really put your finger on. You can't go around punching people though, so you gotta control those impulses.



Jamesy
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11 Jan 2013, 9:15 pm

Yeah I think it was the tone he said it in



rabidmonkey4262
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11 Jan 2013, 9:18 pm

That's exactly what your dad was supposed to say. Any decent parent would remind his kid about good hygiene. It's called constructive criticism. You should be thanking him.


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Jamesy
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11 Jan 2013, 9:37 pm

Well I can't remember the words he said exactly. Since then my hygiene has improved



MountainLaurel
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11 Jan 2013, 10:04 pm

Quote:
What do you make of that kind of behaviour?

Most folks learn at a young age, through experience, that they will suffer tough consequences for any violent or destructive behavior. And if they test those boundaries occasionally throughout the years, they reap similar rough response. So from a young age and going forward they learn self control, lest they suffer.

What I make of your story is that you and your brother understood that you can act out violently with your father without any direct negative consequences. That's OK, the world is still a rough responder and you can still learn self control. Since you are now an adult, the learning curve may be steeper. Never fear; you will meet your match if you can't use self control and that will aid you in civil maturation.



charlottez
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11 Jan 2013, 10:31 pm

If you have a counselor, discuss emotional regulation with them. If you don't have a counselor get one if you can. If you can't, buy some books on anger management, and start journaling. The more awareness you create for yourself about your emotions and how you regard yourself, the more control you will be able to muster when you're triggered.