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NateRiver
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05 Apr 2013, 1:57 pm

I'm just driving myself down a hole really. You guys probably know me from a few of these posts.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf195626-0-30.html

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt221769.html

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4551753 ... t=#4551753


http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4587311 ... t=#4587311

E.t.c

Well, reading back on those posts. It all seemed like a rage of bottled frustration , trying to rationalise the situation I had at hand. I don't believe Maths is a subject I like. I think my obsession was just me, worrying over it. I never did badly in maths, I always managed to do well. I got a level 5 in my sats and in year 7 a 6B. But, I always kind of struggled with it. In year 8, I had a terrible teacher and I did nothing so that just kept me at being at a level 6B and in year 9 also.

So, I spent so much time, revising and learning maths. But, I didn't believe it was enough. So, I cheated on my year 9 maths exams by doing the questions on the paper before hand.

I just have no way of telling whether I'm good at the subject or not. I pick at the little things I do wrong in it and bring myself down about it.
To be honest, I'm not particularly fond of maths. I do like physics though, that's a truth.

For example, I couldn't recognise that this pattern was the cubes

1,8,27,?,125,216 and we had to tell which was the missing number. I feel my maths skills are very bad because of this and I'm not great at the subject at all, only average.

I was thinking if I do well on this additional maths exam paper, then maybe I should think of myself differently. But then my friend said this:-" Maths Olympiads don't give subjects necessarily related to certain topics.
They test the skills and thinking rather than knowledge."

So, it got me thinking maybe doing well on the additional maths paper will just be testing my knowledge rather than skill.

How do I stop this ruining my life, I swear all I do is alot of maths because I want to be better than others at it. But when I struggle with simple questions, I just feel like what the hell am I doing?

People say I'm clever, but I don't think so. I have no pride in myself what so ever. My other friend has helped me with my cheating problem by telling me I should think about answering questions as if I would win a ferrari out of it or something, so I should just try anyway. But my fear of failure, wanting to be better than everyone, and my doubt in my abilities are still a massive issue for me.

How do I deal with it, and what am I doing to myself?



Tsproggy
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05 Apr 2013, 4:11 pm

You want to know something horribly stupid and simple on how to fix this? I know this is going to sound f*****g weird and against all reason but merely acting confident about the things that you DO know, even just faking it, can build up your confidence.

For example me:

I'm a computer guy, always have, probably always will, I'm not fat, but I am pale, have dark hair, blue eyes, standard modern day vampire. I don't let people stereotype me. I know what I'm good at, if people are good to me I'll offer them computer help. If they piss me off they can go wipe the child porn off their own f*****g hard drive.

I simply ignore the people who have nothing better to do then mess around with me. I don't want to hear excuses, I won't be posting in here again, you can take it or leave it, up to you.



PsychoSarah
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24 Apr 2013, 4:06 pm

Smile, dude. It is a proven fact that actually doing it improves mood.



Ettina
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24 Apr 2013, 11:23 pm

One thing that helps for me is to get loved ones to list off my positive qualities. Just tell them 'I'm feeling down about myself. Can you tell me what you like about me?' Of course, you need good supportive loved ones for this technique to work.