PTSD

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I was severely abused when I was a kid, resulting in PTSD.

One of the worst aspects of my PTSD is a terrible guilt complex. I constantly feel guilty over everything. For example, it snowed 12 inches and I feel guilty because I can't make it into work even though other people did.

Yes, I am seeing a therapist.

I just would like to know if any of you are experiencing this kind of thing, too.

I have PTSD for the basic same reasons as you do. I suffer from guilt so bad that I can't keep a job. If I make one mistake (can just be like giving someone milk when they asked for juice.) I can't go to work the next day because I feel so bad. It doesn't even matter for me for me if anybody else notice or not. Before I got married I also slept with different people all the time because I just wanted the confirmation that I was good at something.

I have PTSD from sort of a combination of things kinda consistant smaller traumas like bullying from teachers and other kids, a difficult year involving a suicide attempt and a police officer trying to have me charged with a crime I didn't commit when I turned in the person, by supposed 'best friend.' who did and was trying to set me up, instability at home and finally a horrible school lockdown in which one of the students at the school I was at who was always nice to me even though she hung out more with the popular kids was killed. Then I wasn't able to get any help or support to deal with any of it so I tried to just ignore it and get on with my life only to have quite a few more bad experiences. The sort that involve good experiances but then it just went to sh*t, which I then feel guility about obsessing over what I could have done to have changed the outcome or other things there is no way I could possibly figure out.

A lot of times I feel guility because I know some people with PTSD have gone through things I would see as worse than all that, so I feel guility about getting PTSD from so little that is actually one of the major reasons I tried as hard as I could to deny it until it was entirely apparent so now it's a lot worse.

I have suffered from PTSD from emotional and mild physical abuse when I was a kid, but it has been fading over the years. I would have nightmares, but they would come less and less often. I have maybe one per year now. Now, I have a new PTSD issue because someone broke the glass window in my van right above my head while I was sleeping in it and threatened me with a gun a couple months ago. I jumped up while only half dressed and drove away and I was humiliated.

Basically, it's extremely difficult to deal with the knowledge that I'm never safe and I have to live in the same world with people who have zero respect for me and my safety. All I can do is not think about it. Psychologically, I really need some way to think of it that makes it resolved in my mind, but there is no way, and that's what keeps the PTSD going. I haven't told anyone because I don't really like sharing this sort of thing with people and the shrink can't help me. They try to give me emotional solutions, but I need an intellectual solution. I'm very angry about it, and it's also extremely difficult to deal with the knowledge that my anger is useless. I couldn't even give the police a good enough description to catch the guy because in the heat of the moment I decided it was safer to just drive off, and I'm angry at myself for that because once I started the car the guy seemed less angry and like maybe he had mistaken me for someone else, even though I know I did the right thing.

I can't do anything but wait for time to pass to help me to forget, but I know how long it took me to get over PTSD from when I was a kid (still not fully recovered, actually, and probably never will be), so that's not something I look forward to.

I feel that too. It's horrible feeling that way.

Yeah I have PTSD too, and I also live with an incredible amount of guilt. Over the last few years I found recent abuse and bullying helped me to feel less guilt, because I acknowledged to myself what a good person I am and what sh* they are. Why should I feel bad about doing what's right for me and about protecting myself (whether its not driving on dangerous snowy roads or prejudging someone I hardly know) whenthere are these people out there who are so incredibly selfish and sick that they intentionally hurt others. So still a lot of guilt but not as much I guess. And of course my depression and anxiety have been off the charts.

I always feel guilty. It used to be worse when I was younger. I never linked it to having PTSD, but now I see what you mean.

I was abused as a kid and had PTSD as a result. I tried writing a novel recently that brought it all to the surface (I think I stopped because it became hard for me to write). I worked through things. I'd like to say I healed a bit. Now it's only really bad if something triggers me. I guess it won't ever really leave me, though. If I get depressed again, it could resurface - but at least I'm surviving.

I have to tell myself to not feel guilt for things that aren't my fault.

Yep, random irrational guilt. It really sucks. If anyone I love is upset for any reason, I assume it's my fault, even when it makes no sense.

My therapist says I have PTSD.

I am starting to research it, not sure how traumatic my experiences were.

I don't think I have PTSD anymore, but I still have some trauma symptoms and I deffinetly had PTSD and it was terrible.
I hab more problems with random and severe crying with high anxiety and rage.

It's never been diagnosed because I have chosen not to discuss various things with a professional but I often suspect I might have PTSD (and I've never been wrong yet with my suspicions in these matters when I get round to discussing them with a professional). I get intense obsessional thoughts and memories related to various experiences and very frequent extremely vivid and very distressing recurring dreams in which a weird mish mash of experiences and different extremely unpleasant parts of my life are played out in different but similar ways over and over. The parts I'm willing to discuss in public relate to extreme bullying in school including by my teachers at a time when I had not much family life and therefore little support to speak of. That and other stuff (you know some kouzoku) really damaged me. I've been told that I have episodes of screaming at the top of my voice in my sleep but I never remember those.

I'm really sorry that all of you have to deal with these issues. At least we can come together here and share our stories. Thanks, everyone.

Thank you for starting this thread.

I was abused too, in multiple ways, since a very young age. The worst things about my *undiagnosed* PTSD I've experienced so far that I knew of has been sudden loud noises coming from my abusers like opening and closing doors loudly, sudden shouting, and hearing other disruptive noises by them which are many. It makes my heart jump and I can get emotional, which also can last awhile, because it's hard to be positive quickly after taking such a hit, and so easy to be in a bad place. All due to the unforgettable past. I do feel guilty when I get emotional, especially if it shows. What I didn't notice is, that the massive feeling of guilt for not doing certain things or doing tasks the perfect way, can be a symptom of PTSD as well. I thought I may just be too sensitive, when I otherwise I have a very thick skin, yet I always felt something was "off". I will have to look into that more now. I feel that guilty feeling a lot due to not doing certain tasks or doing them wrong and come to think of it, I feel that way too often for it to be normal.

Today i visited a psychiatrist i told him i could be having PTSD because of childhood abuse and neglect
He said not possible because PTSD is caused by sudden trauma like bomb blast or meeting a accident
Childhood abuse is a prolonged abuse and doesnt cause PTSD was his conclusion.

He did diagnose me with bipolar though.

Is this a new psychiatrist....?

Its well documented in the literature that childhood abuse often leads to PTSD in adults. There are many studies supporting what many of us are saying is our experience.