Deep Thoughts

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Recently an older friend of mine pointed out something I couldn't have said better myself. He has two kids with Autism. He said that I'm witholding all these deep thoughts and I want to express them, but that my friends are all superficial or on the surface, and I don't have any close friends who I can talk to.

I realize I was able to more when I was younger. Now, it's like everyone's too normal to talk like I normally would or, things are too personal to burden people with, or they're just different than me. I do have occasional deep conversations with random people though.

I have maybe two close friends. And everyone in town pretty much knows me. They're all pretty friendly, for the most part, but I'm bad at going up and hugging them or being outwardly social like they are. I am just wondering what I should do about this.

One of the reasons I turn to forums is this reason, I have very deep thoughts that people don't listen to on a superficial level. It's not that I'm insecure, I just don't know...I'll give up on being so deep for awhile, or try to. But I'm always lost in thought, when I am with people I dont know very well. I think too much, and can't stop the confusion sometimes.

I just want to pick everything apart. I want to think and think and think. Should I stop being this way? Is this a bad habit? Or am I only realizing it now recently?

Perhaps I'm crazy because my logic just flies right over people's heads, lol.

I have also had a friend tell me that I am a deep thinker and that I should express these thoughts to more people. She tells me I should write a book. This is probably because I constantly talk about wanting to write a book as I keep my deep thoughts in a journal and hoped to have them published one day. I'd recommend journal writing if you don't do so already. It doesn't help you speak your deep thoughts to others, but at least it is a method of expression.
I can share a journal entry with you about deep thinking and feeling like no one wants deep thinkers if you'd like to read it.



Does it feel like there just isn't a reason to share your deep thoughts because people wouldn't understand anyway? I used to share my thoughts more with one of my friends but she seems to have become even less interested in my thoughts or she doesn't ask for them, like she talks around me now. And I am not as willing to share spontaneously, perhaps due to being criticized and rejected by others for some of my thoughts about things.



It's difficult for those used to the surface chatter to want to listen to deep thoughts. Somehow one has to get them past all of the superficialness; like gossip about what one's neighbor is doing, and interest them in what's deep about the world. Do you want to give up on being deep? I think too much, too. I'm an overthinker, and everyone knows it. Being that I ponder over everyone's point of view and over the nature of existence and how anything exists at all, I am also confused my the multitude and variance of my thoughts.



I once turned an experience about my younger brother asking me to make him soup and my saying no into a whole discussion about what love really is and why people behave the way they do. Why did my brother assume I didn't love him, and why did I take that and use it against myself, to try and guilt myself into doing what he wanted? I shared these thoughts with a friend and they said "Stop being so damn fragile!" There's one reason not to share deep thoughts with others, they didn't see that I was analyzing everything, all they saw was the emotions involved. I pick things apart by nature, and then because of OCD. Wanting to do it is good, if you weren't liking it then you should do something about it. Otherwise, why stop something that you like doing? Who cares that you think deeply or not? The only person it matters to is you, don't give it up because no one seems to want to listen. It's a valuable trait, and the world needs deep thinkers. It's not a bad habit unless it causes you grief or stress.

I can appreciate how you feel – I often get the same rejection from people who don’t think it at all important to analyze thoughts/actions and actually ask “why” instead of blindly doing. I have also had the reaction where someone was intent on putting me down because of a perceived emotional discord. I don’t believe that I’m being overly sensitive when I think deeply about something, I think that I have the right to ponder.

I’m fortunate that I have 1 friend who listens, delves and discusses anything I have on my mind. I only have the 1 but as long as I see him every so often then I can breathe more easily and feel like I’ve let go of the tension that builds up when I keep thinking and thinking without release.

That would be the benefit of writing; for that release. I don’t write enough, but I know that I should. Sometimes, on rare occasions, I can lock the attention of a “normal” friend for enough time to engage them in discussion too, but it mostly centres around a topic they have bought up and not something that was specifically on my mind. I find that an enjoyable challenge though – using a somewhat vague comment made by someone else, and asking the “why” and “what do you think” questions that people normally avoid. I find that I get positive comments like “you really made me think about that in a different light”, or “it’s really interesting talking to you”. These are moments that I treasure. It is a shame that they only happen every so often, but I will work with what I’ve got!

Be positive and also think deeply on a level that accepts other people’s opinions, then they will be more likely to open up and think deeply with you if they know that they can communicate freely and perhaps disagree with or not fully understand your ideas and you won't put them down. Other than that - go with the writing opinion, and use the wonders of modern technology (forums) to express your ideas until you meet someone in life that loves to think too. There's lots of people out there so don't ever stop looking.

Sometimes I feel these traits are suppressed in Westernized culture because they make the traits of good political leaders and activists. And for women, it goes unnoticed. We are bombarded with images of frail plastic symbols of sexual desire FOR the males to enjoy, but secretly most women hate their bodies and the feeling of oppression that remains. I recently wrote a short paragraph on gather.com about how the "Goddess" archetype is pretty much missing from society and religion. And yet, who really knows that women aren't responsible for many of these major religions such as Christianity, in a nutshell. I'm digressing a lot. But yeah, I think there is a reason intellectuals esp women in general have to hide their feelings in society ruled by ego and obviously mysogonist undertones, so where do women stand at all?

I can relate I ponder just about everything. I like it most of the time but it can be a
real pain when you can't shut it off during work or other activities that require quick responses
instead of over thinking every action before you do it.
I find it drains me energy wise with it stuck in the on position.

NEVER EVER stop!
I am like you.
The world needs deep thinkers.
Most people never think deeply or critically.
ALL of the great Scientific advances in the last few centuries are from people who ponder the difficult questions in life.

THANKS!! I feel much better lately and am progressing more in treatment. Apparently I have mild symptoms that seem like AS but I do not think it is significant and prob not Autism or AS. I am learning about what my real problem and prognosis is. YES deep thinking is a great trait because you can get to the bottom of things fast. It's also good to be in the moment, let go and reflect on things as they are to resolve them that way.

I admire people for all their differenes, I know I'm not a super genuis although I am intelligent in my own way, which is good because everyone is.

lol

I'm in the same boat as nolan1971...

I often find myself thinking way too much...almost all the time....I also seem to exist in 2 worlds 80% in my head/thoughts, and the other 20% in my body.

I'm always pondering...sometimes I can get lucky & not ponder anything while working...however, if things screw up(Which happens often at my particular work area), it's very difficult to stop thinking/pondering, and often seems to make the time go by slower.

This is also compounded by the fact I work by myself, and have a lot of external stimuli...distractions are not cool(For me at my work environment).

I've been this way my whole life(A lot worse in my teens), and only just discovered this forum.