Aspie+ADD inattentive type what's it like?

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I'm asking for my ASD hubby, as he doesn't do forums.

In his initial Aspie evaluation, the PhD said he was one tick below getting the "offical" ADD diagnosis. This guy wouldn't be treating him, and getting the ASD diagnosis was the bigger deal at the time. So everyone dropped worrying about the ADD part.

My DH's therapist wants to treat the ADD now. The executive function skills are zip, and all the other stuff that makes getting stuff hard is now the a huge issue. I have a friend with very severe ADHD (heavy emphasizes on the H part), and my DH is nothing like him on the surface.

My questions are

*how does ADD affect you live with ASD?
*what medications have you found worth while?
*what would you like everyone to know about having ADD?

You have all been so kind to me. I appreciate any and all comments. ♡

Thanks for reading this.

Tawaki

ADHD is such a common comorbid with ASD (it's pretty much a part of ASD), so whether it's in the official DX or not, it can be pretty much assumed.



Ah, that means "Here, take some Big Pharma laboratory cocktails with dangerous side effects."



How it affects me is irrelevant. How it affects your husband is all that matters. Apparently he's made it into adulthood without any severe quality of life problems - if that's the case, then the effects are negligible.



Personally, I won't put Frankenstein Pharmaceuticals with potential side effects like "irritability, confusion, violent impulses and thoughts of suicide" into my brain. I have enough problems, without playing Russian Roulette.

The best treatment for my autistic symptoms I ever found (entirely by accident, though clinical research has now confirmed my experience) was psilocybin mushrooms. Their most dramatic effect was eliminating symptoms of chronic depression and social anxiety for about 2 years after ingestion. Unfortunately, they're not *legally* available yet.

Actually, he hasn't made it through adulthood unscathed. He lost his job due to inability to focus and performing anything on time. He has to have someone ride his ass like a rented mule to get anything done. He has no ability to set up a schedule and follow it, without me reminding and prompting.
His total lack of follow through has lost him all his previous friends.

He's not happy. He sees how others do small simple things and feels that is beyond him. Yes, my husband can do things relating to his special interest, but that is living the life of a 12 year old.

I'm not sold on big pharmaceutical either, but if I dropped dead tomorrow, his therapist said my husband would probably wind up in a group home, and our child at a relative's home.

Yes, it is that bad. Appreciate your comments though.

I find ASD and ADHD really similar, and when I'm scared, it's harder to communicate, harder to be socially acceptable, and harder to stay organized. Another problem I have is that I can create an organization for myself, but it may not appear adequate to others. And any criticism distracts me, then I get more disorganized because I'm even more distracted.

Stimulants make a big difference, at least that's what I was told. But they made me feel like I was chasing a normality that I could never find, taking to please others, but I never got there. It seemed like I interrupted more when I took them, then I realized people understood me better to try to have a conversation. But, they were still annoyed with me.

Right now, it isn't worth it to me to take them. I'm not anti-drug, it's just that taking something that makes me focus and wears off every day to please other people made me feel like a hamster running in a wheel and I couldn't stand it anymore! There just wasn't enough acceptance and it wound up I felt more unacceptable. Hard to explain.

I think the most important thing if he tries medications is to understand that, at least if you have ASD, too, they help you keep track of things, helped me be understood some, but they did not make me normal.

Would I take stimulant medication again if I couldn't get things done? Sure. But I know too that the more normal I look, the less tolerant other people are of minor differences. And that's the trouble with having both ADHD and ASD, the stimulant medication fooling me and others for a little while because I looked more typical, just was too stressful. But I'm glad I had the experience what it was like, I can remember some, and I do know the less panicked I get, the more I can do. And the more I believe in myself, the more I can do.

Answers to your questions:

1. I have met other people with ASD, some without symptoms of ADHD. I feel like my ADHD makes it even harder to keep up with things like chores, schedules, time, and routines. I feel like my ADHD makes me lower-functioning with some situations I would otherwise need minimal help with.

2. The only medication I was on for ADHD was Adderall, and it helped me a lot. Instead of my mind running a million miles per minute, I was somehow able to hone all of that jumbled up mess into a tunnel of focus for tasks. I was on the extended release version, which lasted about 12 hours. I started with a low dose once a day, worked up to twice a day, and then increased the dosage slightly until I found I was able to do routines a lot better.

3. While it can be hard to separate ADHD (inattentive type) from my autism, I will say there are a few things I wish people knew that parallel others with just ADHD.

1. Please don't yell at me. It makes me more overwhelmed, and less likely to ask for help.
2. I'm not lazy. Imagine getting so overwhelmed that you just give up, and that only begins to scratch the surface of how my mind works.
3. Tell me it's OK to ask for help. A lot of people with ADHD learn to not accept help at all because they were told all of their life they just aren't trying hard enough. I have a legitimate problem, and I need to know that it's OK to lean on you when I can't focus.
4. Medicine is dependent on the person, and there are a lot of misconceptions. Not every person with ADHD needs medication. Forcing this issue when someone is able to cope in other ways may backfire. Also, stimulants are NOT as harmful as people tout them to be. Some people refuse to allow their children/spouses to be medicated. Medication can be the difference between being able to function in a good way vs. a stressed out barely functioning loved on. Finally, stimulants are NOT the only medications used to treat ADHD. Depending on your symptoms, there are several types of medications you can try. Furthermore, stimulants don't work for everyone with ADHD.
5. Try not to force someone with ADHD to get better alone. A lot of people are under the misconception that pure will power can overcome ADHD. Some may even push a person way past their limits to the point where they will no longer be able to function. For people with ADHD, we have to try harder to do the same tasks that often come very easily to other people. We may "appear" normal, and some of us may even be able to cope. Be warned, though. Someone with ADHD that is pushed too hard without adequate treatment can turn to things like drugs and alcohol to cope. Some even rely on these things to get their mind to a "normal" level of functioning without support. It takes a patient person to help someone with a problem like ADHD, but it CAN be done.
6. ADHD and Autism can often be separate diagnoses. Not all people with autism have ADHD, and not all people with ADHD are autistic. Sometimes, ADHD can be so severe that it mimics autism. If you treat one, but you are still having major life problems, it may be time to look at other diagnoses or comorbid conditions. If you suspect both autism and ADHD, it might be helpful to go to an expert in autism, as they can often recognize different symptoms in addition to autism.
7. A lot of adults with ADHD go undiagnosed. If you feel a professional isn't taking your symptoms seriously, or only relying on stereotypes to diagnose you, it may be time to switch doctors/psychologists.

Gonna post without reading all replies.

I have ADHD too, along with Asperger's and an anxiety disorder. I tried methylphenidate and it did work for me though when I ran out and needed more after my psych rescheduled on me they treated me like a drug seeker and I suddenly stopped it... quite horrid violent impulses, like seriously I wanted to murder people. So, to stay on pharmaceuticals, have: 1. good insurance not dependent on say, having a job. 2. a good psychiatrist who will treat you, the person not the condition, you can't just throw meds at Aspies like you can other people, some of us are extremely sensitive. 3. PATIENCE

Okay after all that, I am not on meds, I struggle daily with ADLs, getting to work on time, etc. I drink a substantial amount of coffee and smoke sativas to sort of, kind of, TEMPORARILY mimic the effects of good meds.

Once I have insurance again, or some way to consistently pay for meds, bills, etc. then I am wholeheartedly for trying Adderall and Strattera before giving up completely. I have mild depression so the Ritalin was actually kind of helping that too.

Stimulant meds are NOT the magic bullet, although for some people they are a godsend. I'm on of those people that wishes I could be on meds for my ADD. It's a real nightmare not being able to even brush my teeth DAILY. Arrgh. And we can't rely on Aspie routines because we lack the attention to them!! As in I will forget parts of the routine or something will distract me and throw me off the routine, so Aspie self is destabilized and going to meltdowntown. and round in another circle.... yeah, it's like having Dr. Jekyl and mr. hyde inside my head!