MindBlind wrote:
So I have a huge problem with avoidance. I tend to just automatically switch off or go into panic mode when confronting situations that trigger my anxiety. So, a pretty common symptom that I'm sure most of us have done at some point. When I had panic disorders, my reactions were a lot more visceral and somehow it felt more understandable. I knew that if I faced those anxiety triggers, then I could demystify my fears. I could just say "It's just perfume - you aren't going to suffocate" or something to that effect.
I honestly thought for a while that I had found a way to handle my anxiety. But 11 years later, I'm still dealing with anxiety and I'm not dealing with it well. I do a lot to avoid unpleasant stuff that I have this strange duality in which I jump into taking risks and then back out as soon as uncertainty sets in. I have never been good at dealing with uncertainty as my mind tends to shut down when I can't think of an answer.
I feel annoyed that even after therapy as a child, I still have the same issues into adulthood. I honestly feel I haven't matured past the mental age of 13. It seems that no matter how many times I face my fears, the fears only get bigger and bigger. It's not like I don't want help, but I tend to be living in a perpetual self fulfilling prophecy of self sabotage.
I know I can't be impatient. Afterall, I'm now getting treatment again which is a positive sign and I know mindfulness takes years of practice, but how many people actually go on to learning better habits and can face their feelings after treatment?
There isn't any other way to live healthfully than to face your feelings.
That doesn't mean I'm going to regularly put myself in the wrong situations, though. I know that many of my anxiety triggers can be worked through, but dealing with social situations is a different story.
You might consider practicing meditation.
28 Jan 2014, 9:53 am
