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pensieve
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20 Jan 2014, 12:38 am

I'm not sure if I've asked this before, I just got this memory asking the exact same question. I've been having difficulties in knowing whether thinking things are happening for a reason, I mean like really being convinced of it, is a delusion.

I don't think it is because to me it feels so real and right but I've heard people say this type of thinking is. I will see patterns in events with my own life experiences and with the timing of those events. Like they can only happen at that time because it's helping me make a decision or it's showing me that it had to happen this way. It certainly makes disappointments less upsetting and gives me a sense of hope for the future.

Since I read a book about synchronicity it's gotten stronger and I tend to get obsessive about it, like manically writing out pages and pages of these 'clues.' Once I was left shattered after what I thought was going to happen didn't yet I still come back to this same belief.

I get it stuck in my mind that something good and something I've been waiting for (like my deepest desire) is going to happen and the patterns serve as evidence that it's about to come to pass. It's not really magic thinking. I'm not really sure if it will build up to that.

If it is a delusion I don't think it's a huge one. I wouldn't say I'm so far from reality I'm impossible to be reached. However, I don't like telling people because I know they will judge me.


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wcoltd
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20 Jan 2014, 12:44 am

I don't think I follow, you have to give an example.

This is what I think you meant, and my interpretation:


It's like you see coincidences, maybe you were thinking about how someone wronged you and they end up falling and breaking their leg and you can't help but feel you're thinking might have had something to do with it.

That seems like borderline magical thinking, if I understand you correctly.



cathylynn
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20 Jan 2014, 1:07 am

it's a characteristic of the human brain to see patterns where there are none. it's called apophenia.



Raziel
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20 Jan 2014, 12:38 pm

cathylynn wrote:
it's a characteristic of the human brain to see patterns where there are none. it's called apophenia.


In autism this happens more often. Autistics are orientated towards detailes and patterns.

And pensieve when you afterwards know that you were just "convinced" of something, but doupt it really quick by someone telling you, that it's not a delusion. It could just be a borderline delusion though or on the borderline to the psychotic spectrum what's seen in some personality disorders, especially schizoptyal PD and alsowith borderline PD you can develope very similar features, that's why BPD was actually called BPD, because of the similarities towards neurosis and psychosis and later on they found out BPD is something different. Oh well. But there is also an overlapp in ASD towards the schizophrenic spectrum and the bipolar spectrum. All three are genetically related to some degree.

So the information you give is not enough to even group it as a symptom and then it still depents to what other symptoms it's connected to and so on. Psychiatry is very complex and if you wanna be certain you have to go to a psychiatrist who is specialized in this area.


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20 Jan 2014, 10:38 pm

I think psychologists might refer to this as an "overvalued idea."

I do a similar thing. I look for patterns all the time, even when I know I'm probably just fooling myself. Sometimes I entertain strange scenarios in my mind but I don't tell anyone about them, because it's personal.



pensieve
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21 Jan 2014, 5:58 am

Have you all forgotten about my past posts as though this is the first time I'm posting? I have bipolar. I've been manic for 10 days which is a record for me. I only get this type of thinking when I'm at least hypomanic. I get it when I'm manic too.

I admit it when I was writing it I wasn't sure if it made much sense. Shall I take some Ritalin so I can coherently write something?

OK, an example: here is one I copied and pasted from another forum when I was really euphoric:

Oh, the meanings I generate while being manic, goes much further than interpreting things a number of ways. I have a type of patterned way of thinking like everything that I experience links up to a deeper meaning in my life, and recently it just caused me to spend up to $1750. Woops. I saw the numbers 82, 27, and 42. And even the timing with events and even the time they are revealed to me and how this relates to me spending $1750.

I should probably elaborate.

Okay...well it all started after a bought a present for my new friend who is in a band. I felt bad for not buying him a present and buying one for our other friend. I also recently just found out it was his birthday. Because we're not too close yet I'm not sure if buying him a present is a bit excessive. Anyway, because both these boys are in a band together I wanted to surprise them with gifts the next time I saw them. I thought it would be at least another month or two but it was revealed to me it was about a week away. Interesting timing. I had been impatiently waiting for more bands to play near me and now my good friends will be playing somewhere soon. They're keeping it secret who they are supporting. Some big name band who's playing The Big Day Out; the hugest Australian music festival. Lots of big name international acts.

So, I got the idea to buy a new wide angle lens cause my friend who is the singer of this band pulls out some awesome rock moves and I'm always just cutting his head out of the photograph, so I'm basically buying this lens to take full body shots of him.
$82 had to do with how much money I managed to save from my budget of $1800 and then I paid extra postage for quicker delivery so I ended up saving $42. These numbers are good. If I explained much more I'd be going all night about how all the numbers I've encountered today have some meaning attached to them.

And everything will be delivered by Jan 23. By that time I should know where my friends are playing and I may be able to give them their gifts. The timing, the prices, the dates - everything is just working out so well.

I was just meant to be practicing drawing Iron Man today which took some effort to get the motivation to do at all and then all this happened.

This is how mania interprets some things.


That one is not the most severe one. The really powerful one was more personal, dealt with eroticamania and limerence and had me see signs about possibly getting together with some guy. But I could log months of the clues that indicated what I thought would happen would, and then the disillusionment set in.

The only time I'm really convinced of this is when I'm manic. Even reading over that example now and I don't feel as excited about it as I was when I wrote it.

I guess I should be grateful that it's not clear if these are delusions. My episodes don't seem as intense as what you expect in bipolar although they do to me.

To be honest I don't think most of what I wrote when I was manic made much sense. I was struggling to stay in control of myself.


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21 Jan 2014, 9:34 am

It reads to me like the op is reading into things like they're Omens.

I imagine this kind of thing could lead people into obsessively trying to predict the Lotto.


Strangely, I could almost entertain the idea that something like Synchronicity really is occurring, but it is potentially harmful to people who think they can understand it or control it. Strange coincidences can happen and it's like reality is challenging you with an unsolvable puzzle.



heavenlyabyss
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21 Jan 2014, 4:23 pm

pensieve wrote:
Have you all forgotten about my past posts as though this is the first time I'm posting? I have bipolar. I've been manic for 10 days which is a record for me. I only get this type of thinking when I'm at least hypomanic. I get it when I'm manic too.

I admit it when I was writing it I wasn't sure if it made much sense. Shall I take some Ritalin so I can coherently write something?

OK, an example: here is one I copied and pasted from another forum when I was really euphoric:

Oh, the meanings I generate while being manic, goes much further than interpreting things a number of ways. I have a type of patterned way of thinking like everything that I experience links up to a deeper meaning in my life, and recently it just caused me to spend up to $1750. Woops. I saw the numbers 82, 27, and 42. And even the timing with events and even the time they are revealed to me and how this relates to me spending $1750.

I should probably elaborate.

Okay...well it all started after a bought a present for my new friend who is in a band. I felt bad for not buying him a present and buying one for our other friend. I also recently just found out it was his birthday. Because we're not too close yet I'm not sure if buying him a present is a bit excessive. Anyway, because both these boys are in a band together I wanted to surprise them with gifts the next time I saw them. I thought it would be at least another month or two but it was revealed to me it was about a week away. Interesting timing. I had been impatiently waiting for more bands to play near me and now my good friends will be playing somewhere soon. They're keeping it secret who they are supporting. Some big name band who's playing The Big Day Out; the hugest Australian music festival. Lots of big name international acts.

So, I got the idea to buy a new wide angle lens cause my friend who is the singer of this band pulls out some awesome rock moves and I'm always just cutting his head out of the photograph, so I'm basically buying this lens to take full body shots of him.
$82 had to do with how much money I managed to save from my budget of $1800 and then I paid extra postage for quicker delivery so I ended up saving $42. These numbers are good. If I explained much more I'd be going all night about how all the numbers I've encountered today have some meaning attached to them.

And everything will be delivered by Jan 23. By that time I should know where my friends are playing and I may be able to give them their gifts. The timing, the prices, the dates - everything is just working out so well.

I was just meant to be practicing drawing Iron Man today which took some effort to get the motivation to do at all and then all this happened.

This is how mania interprets some things.


That one is not the most severe one. The really powerful one was more personal, dealt with eroticamania and limerence and had me see signs about possibly getting together with some guy. But I could log months of the clues that indicated what I thought would happen would, and then the disillusionment set in.

The only time I'm really convinced of this is when I'm manic. Even reading over that example now and I don't feel as excited about it as I was when I wrote it.

I guess I should be grateful that it's not clear if these are delusions. My episodes don't seem as intense as what you expect in bipolar although they do to me.

To be honest I don't think most of what I wrote when I was manic made much sense. I was struggling to stay in control of myself.


Well, no one here is a psychologist so nobody knows. I think what I was struggling with is that your post is incredibly articulate. When people think of delusional, they usually think of the homeless guy on the street muttering nonsense to himself. But it doesn't always work that way.

I realize if you were manic though, you had little or no control over it.

When I get acutely ill, sometimes I hold very strong beliefs that border on delusional. A person might be able to talk me out of them, but if someone says one wrong word later, the delusion sets in again. It's sort of borderline delusional. When I look at your post, it reads a little bit like things I have experienced actually. Particularly the fact that you can explain it too clearly for it to be believable. Lol.