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serenaserenaserena
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19 Feb 2014, 7:48 pm

I have always had moods that were 100% that mood, and they were extremely whatever mood. I am always either extremely happy, extremely sad or down, extremely angry, or extremely indifferent or blank. I've had mood swings since I was maybe.... always. For the past year, I've been going through strange times in which it is as if my disposition itself is really upset and down and just horrible, and really hyper and happy. That actually happened a little bit when I was younger, but it was really mostly just hyper and then nothing, because I have ADHD. There are other times in which I am hyper and happy and whatnot. I have mood swings daily, and they are often extreme, but they are sometimes not extreme. The entire disposition change happens maybe every few weeks. It isn't always the same.

I really feel unstable and not able to control something that I want to, because I just can't concentrate even MORE when I just keep changing this way. When I feel down, I really want to be isolated and not do anything, but when I can't, I just feel worse and like it will never end. When I feel extremely happy or sad as a disposition, I am not happy or sad ABOUT anything; I just feel that way. It's good when it's happy, but when I feel so bad, and I don't know why, it just makes it worse, because I just feel like that, and it's just horrible, and I don't know what to do.

My friend at school notices it when I seem "tired" when I feel, I guess, depressed.

The worst part is, I don't know why it happens, and I can physically feel it in me as a strange pressure, and it feels bad.

I go to my counselor once a month. Should I tell her? I don't even know how to explain it all.


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beneficii
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19 Feb 2014, 7:57 pm

I'd read aloud to your therapist what you said here, but I would not name any specific diagnosis.


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DellaBarney
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19 Feb 2014, 9:24 pm

Some school counselors are not totally familiar with mental illnesses. I would suggest you ask the counselor for a reccomendation to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your story reminds me of my teenage years. I didn't get help until age 19 and wish I had gone to a psy / dr earlier.
Be safe and seek out help, it gets better as you learn more about bipolar and learn to step outside your head to notice how and why you react to the world. And how to get more control of your emotions. Wish you the best and you're a great writer.



serenaserenaserena
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19 Feb 2014, 10:26 pm

DellaBarney wrote:
Some school counselors are not totally familiar with mental illnesses. I would suggest you ask the counselor for a reccomendation to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your story reminds me of my teenage years. I didn't get help until age 19 and wish I had gone to a psy / dr earlier.
Be safe and seek out help, it gets better as you learn more about bipolar and learn to step outside your head to notice how and why you react to the world. And how to get more control of your emotions. Wish you the best and you're a great writer.


The counselor that I go to is actually a psychologist, not at school.


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postpaleo
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03 Mar 2014, 6:51 pm

Short answer is, yes. Talk and your console is the start. I don't say this lightly.

Nice to meet you.

What beneficii said is a great start, you wrote it well.


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serenaserenaserena
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04 Mar 2014, 8:26 pm

I discussed this with my counselor last week, and currently I am supposed to keep track of the pattern on my Lego calendar by marking what days were happy days and what days were sad days, so here's the first step.


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postpaleo
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06 Mar 2014, 7:23 pm

serenaserenaserena wrote:
I discussed this with my counselor last week, and currently I am supposed to keep track of the pattern on my Lego calendar by marking what days were happy days and what days were sad days, so here's the first step.


I have no idea if you have angry days, but chart them as well. Happy and angry can get hard to tell , between the two, sometimes. Keep your journal going. It will serve you well.


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