Avoiding People

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Well, to begin with, I avoid people very often, not because I dislike them, but because I am both introverted and possibly bipolar.

When I am in a depressive phase/episode, I find myself avoiding plans with people even more. The problem is, I'm not sure that I could continue this for much longer. Soon, I'm going to run out of excuses. Soon, people maybe begin to think that I don't like them. I want to be able to tell people the dominant reason as to why I won't be spending time with them, rather then getting some other reason to make it seem like that's why. I don't think that it will work forever.

When I'm not in a depressive phase, I still wish to avoid times that I'd spend a long time with people, such as a sleepover, but sometimes, I can just go through with it anyway. Even if I were to begin telling people the true reasons, I wouldn't know how to explain it, and it may seem like I just don't care enough about them to try.

If I had only explained in the very first place that I don't like sleepovers, and that I'm not feeling good or something, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. What could I do?

If I said that I wasn't feeling good, they'd think I was sick. I'm not sick. There is no easy way to explain it. I don't know what to do.

Oh God; sleepovers are Hell. I went to a couple when I was a kid and I found both times to be very traumatic. To this day I don't really sleep unless I'm in my own home. I just don't feel safe. And then add in the socialization that goes on at sleepovers and it's a recipe for disaster.

With regard to your question . . . some socialization is good even if you don't enjoy it. It is necessary to keep social contacts which can be useful. My strategy is to pick and choose the ones I will attend and how long I will stay. If you know something is going to freak you out, don't go. If you think you can probably tolerate it, give it a try.

Yeah, all sleepovers that I've been to that I've been to that were slumber-parties with a ton of people I've always been aloof from the group while playing a handheld game, or texting a single person about a game.
All sleepovers that I've been to with one person have been better, but regardless of it being a slumber-party or a sleepover with just one other person, I always want to go home, or I want the other person to go home, and I spend almost the entire time thinking, "how can I get out of here," or, "how can I get my friend to think that she needs to leave early and most certainly shall NOT stay two more hours"

Just hearing the word "sleepover" in a conversation pertaining to me makes me quickly begin an elaborate plan to get out of it.
I haven't been to too many though, and I plan for it to stay that way..

The person who currently is trying to get me to go to one has been trying to get me to go to one for weeks, and she will be moving soon..

Is it a slumber party or a sleepover that this friend is encouraging you to attend? Well, either way, she probably is encouraging you because she thinks it will be an enjoyable event. That is, she means well. The trick is to get out of it without hurting her feelings. In situations like this I have come up with the following strategy: 1) indicate that you are not interested in the suggested event clearly and state your reason. In this instance, one example might be to say, "No, I can only sleep in my own bed." 2) [and this needs to quickly follow your statement in part 1, so as to change the subject quickly] suggest an alternate meeting which you both may enjoy. A movie, a new game you might want to show her, etc. The key to this is that you show that you do want to spend time with her, that this is not the obstacle. She may not understand, but she might feel less rejected.

I'm not sure if it will only be us or not. At first, it was going to be multiple people, and then it was going to be only us, and then it wasn't, so I don't know. I have spent the night at her house once before, and she begged me to stay longer, and she made me watch lots of LOTR. She is an aspie as well, but she seems to be extroverted, while I am not. She says that she thinks she's an ambivert.

I have been saying that the answer is maybe, but she assumes that I want to go, but that it's just up to my mom. She has been saying a lot of hypothetical plans for if I spend the night at her house, so I think that it would be worse if I just changed the plans entirely.

Maybe, I could just go to her house and not stay there over night. Like you said, I could just stay for a certain amount of time, and that would be not over night.

Sounds like she enjoys the planning as much as the event. lol. Just let her enjoy her plans, they most likely won't come to fruition.


Yeah, sometimes it's best just to do it and get it over with.


For sure . . . and even if you do end up staying the night, it might not be that bad. When I am in situations like this, I kinda give up on the idea of actually sleeping and treat the whole thing as a social experiment.

Well, I thank you for your replies.