Could I have schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder? help...

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Ok so really there's way too much for me to say, so I'm gonna categorize it down into some symptoms that I have.. basically I've always felt odd and from a young age I've been obsessed with things I get interested in, I mean obsessed.. I find someone/something interesting and I want to know every little detail I go to extreme lengths to find out everything, and that makes me feel like a creep.. Instead of thinking people are my friends I think they've been sent to be my friend, like by some person that is watching and controlling my life, i think i can suss out everything about people and ''know what they're trying to do to me'' and think everyone always talking about me and is always trying to get in my way to annoy or grief me... at this present time i havent showered in about two weeks, and it doesnt bother me at all. in 2011 i didnt shower for weeks on end and ended up cutting allmy hair off caus it hadnt been washed in 6 months. I get very down moods, and irritable moods, if someone asks me a question, i want to kill them, i get so angry just by someone saying something like ''why are you wearing them shoes'' exampleor something simple like that, if someone ever says something to me differently or questions me, i will think about it for the rest of the day /week . I dont know what to do, also I dont know if i hear voces or not, all i know is that there is me in my brain then there is another thing, but i dunno if its a voce but its someone or something that controls my thinking and makes me think horrible, violent and weird things.. sometimes its like a woman on a GPS but other time, i cant tell if these thoughts are mine or a voice, i stopped talking for months because i couldnt give a straight answer cause i dont know whos answering, me or the voice/things in my head. I am just unbelievably fed up of being the way i am, i lose more and more friends, cant leave the house usually and miss alot of school, also i see alot of dots drivin down the wall, i thought everyone seen them but it seems not.. i dont have many visual hallucinations, mainly when i havent slept for over 24 hours which is about twice a week, but if i had a normal sleep on a day to day basis i see things like dots, things in the corner of my eye, i dont know what to do... i go to pyschologists i havent told them all of this because what if i dont have any of these and its just my mnd tricking me telling me i do? i dont know. ! !! !! ! help if anyone has ever had the exact same stuff/thinking as me, i cant stop getting these urges to pull off my fingernails or pull of my lips/mouth , and it hurts to fight back the thoughts.

It sounds familiar to what I went through. Talk to a psychiatrist just like you wrote this down, just let it all out. They will probably prescribe you medication. You may have to put up with nasty side effects but it will help you live more independent. Good luck.

I second wcoltd's recommendation. You need to see a psychiatrist, based on what you said here.

Intense interests could be an AS trait.



Now, this sounds more like schizophrenia. Delusions of reference - thinking everything that happens is about you in some way.



Is this new? Did you used to shower regularly of your own accord (not just because someone else reminded you to)?

If you've never showered regularly without reminders, it could be an AS trait. A lot people with AS aren't as concerned with their appearance as usual, or have trouble keeping track of when to shower.

If you used to shower regularly without reminders, and have stopped doing so at the same time as you developed psychotic symptoms, then it's part of schizophrenia.



Why does that bother you? Are you thinking they're saying those are ugly shoes, or something?



Delusions of control, maybe hearing voices too.



You really should tell a psychologist about this stuff. It sounds like these symptoms are clearly affecting your life in a negative way.



You definitely need to tell your psychologist about this. Anytime you're thinking of hurting yourself, it's a sign of something wrong.

"there is me in my brain and there is another thing"

I have this. For me, it grew out of a feeling of not being real/of the world not being real which I started experiencing as a child. It became a sensory experience, in that I could feel this other thing scratching at my brain inside my skull.

For a long time, it was called psychosis (hallucination and/or delusion), but I knew it was different. (Doctors don't believe you when you say that though, because they've already decided you're "ill", so if you disagree with them it just "means you have poor insight").

I found out later that my experiences were dissociative rather than psychotic.

Do you feel like this thing in your head is talking to you, or does it want to talk to other people as well? i.e. you say it talks instead of you sometimes. What kind of things does it seem to need to say when it uses your voice?

Well even if the symptoms you describe are on the schizo-spectrum, it could still be "just" a psychotic episode or schizotypal PD for instanse.

You might have schizoaffective. It's treatable. I would talk to a psychiatrist because the sooner you treat it the less damaging it will be over time. This illness can reverse, but the more time you spend in distress the harder it is to come out of.

Thanks everyone for all your input and advice, thoughts etc.

Ettina, I wanted to reply to you, you asked did i used to shower regularly without being reminded or asked, yes, i used to take baths everynight, or shower everynight etc, without being told to do so, but now, the last two years, i go in and out of not showing for weeks. and it doesnt bother me, im aware of my hair being greasy, but i just dont care enough to shower..

dont really know what to do, i feel if i am aware of the symtpoms of schizophrenia, and try to tell my psychologist/psychiatrist what i wrote in this whole blog, theyll think im looking to be schizophrenic/mentally ill, then ill be left alone and left to die of whatever is wrong with me.

you see, i feel like its eating away at me, i went to see my psychiarist today and told him i cant leave the house and that sometimes i thinnk people are purposely trying to annoy me, but i didnt tell him anything else, he said he'll 'discuss my case' with the psychologist and call me back,
what do i do? ive been out there a few times, but that was back when i couldnt say how i felt or what was iinside my mind

now im sick of how i feel, and know if i dont get help ill die lonely or commit suicide in my early adulthood. i know if it is schizophrenia that it can get worse, and i dont want this
so does anyone have any ideas what i should do? how to get on the road to telling my pyschiatrist what i have just written here, without being paranoid that he hates me or is trying to send me home because he thinks im an attention seeker, because i dont know what to do anymore.

rebem,

I know how you feel. It seems that if you're too willing to discuss symptoms, they'll just attribute it to like an anxiety disorder or something.

beneficii,
yeah i know... it makes me so paranoid/scared that they wont bother trying to help me and ill be left alone forever with no help..


not sure what to do. seeing psychiatrist again soon,

also, my dad has schizophrenia/anxiety, so i guess that makes a significant difference in the chance of me actually having one/both/ of those disorders, since i suffer with a few anxiety symptoms also, like not being able to cross roads/ go into shops/order food or have any one looking at me...