Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

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I was just wondering if anyone on this forum has had any personal experience with it.

i had a mild case of it after a relationship with a fiance who thought hitting was a good means of communicating. that was nearly thirty years ago and things have improved much.

Last edited by cathylynn on 02 May 2014, 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, it sucks....terrible disorder, and I can't say I've learned a single positive thing from it. I mean my life wasn't a bed of roses before the PTSD either, I was constantly bullied at school even with teachers/staff being in on it at times or at least helping to ostracize me. So by the age of 15 I attempted suicide and was diagnosed as having depression and anxiety so was in therapy but the one thing I had was my ability to constantly read books(fiction and non-fiction) which in turn made me very good at researching things and doing research papers because I could get hyperfocused on reading about information, coming to conclusions based on the facts and writing papers I got wonderful grades on so basically I was doing pretty alright acedemically figured I'd go to college put these acedemic skills to use, get a degree and find some kind of employment.

Well then there was a lockdown at my school, a student I knew was killed....and at first I thought I was just upset just like everyone else, and it was a temporary thing I could move past, figured I'd get my concentration back and it would be fine but that didn't happen to this day I can hardly get through a single chapter of a book, I can still reasearch things and I like learning and reading up on information but I have to take it much slower because I cannot focus and concentrate on it like before. When I first suspected there was something more going on than just natural reactions to a traumatic event, I did try to get help I talked to my school counseler about my concerns and she basically said I shouldn't worry about it. So I tried getting another therapist through the place I was going, I had recently stopped therapy but there where weird scheduling issues and what not so I never really got anything set up....basically kept getting the messege I was on my own with it so I tried to handle it myself, tried to just ignore it and hope it would go away and move on with my life. And aside from getting no therapy my parents where going through a divorce and I was still the school outcast....during the lockdown one of the students said 'I am suprised you're not the psychopath with the gun' that student apologized, but what she said essentially reflected what a majority of classmates thought about me. So I was essentially excluded from all the 'we as a community need to come together, support each other and move past this terrible tradgedy' stuff. I cannot even describe how painful it was to be an outsider like that, it was like watching everyone support each other on the other side of a glass wall and I was stuck on the lonely isolated side.... So after a couple months of this I even tried to make myself a terrible person and convince myself of nazi ideology, because I wanted to not care, not defending it, but I didn't know where else to turn aside from trying to be 'evil' since that is what everyone thought of me in the first place...it was really just a pathetic attempt to be tough instead of feeling vulnerable I never believed any of that ideology. That phase did end rather quickly.

I still tried to go to college, but it didn't work out....I ended up dropping out because I couldn't handle the stress and being in a classroom even a college classroom sort of freaks me out since it reminds me of the whole lockdown thing that started out while I was sitting in class, so I'd get anxious and have trouble focusing on the teacher especially when there was noise in the hall from people walking to other classes or setting their back packs down while waiting.

sorry for the long post, but its difficult to explain any of that in a short and simple manner.

yes,have got both c-PTSD caused by past and a severe case of PTSD caused by being acutely manhandled by police during several severe challenging behavior incidents last year and also caused by the punishing treatment had suffered between those incidents in a intelectual disability hospital; had suffered a L5-L10 spinal injury as a result.

cant go past a police man or car without freaking out,cant watch any documentaries on police anymore [like street crime uk] which is what used to watch when bored at night time before the first incident,the flash backs are horrific and have smashed up room during them many times believing was back there.
its a terrifying condition and mental state.

Thanks for the replies. I've been wondering lately if I have some form of it.

I have cPTSD from having grown up with an alcoholic parent/family members who were abusive towards me (and didn't know I have Aspergers at the time), and a few other things I don't feel comfortable sharing.

its possible,its worth getting assessed as there is treatment that helps deal with it so do not have to live like this.
PTSD is different for everyone and not everyones is clearly obvious, people with autism tend to have a lot more triggers for PTSD than the standard recognised triggers like rape,being caught in a robbery etc because we have a very different experience of life and can experience or fear certain things much greater than NTs can,but similary NTs can fear some things much greater than many of us, it depends on the individual.

am on quite a highish dose of an anti pyschotic called halperidol for many issues caused by severe autism and it also helps with the PTSD, it has helped calm down the level of flash backs was getting,made arrousal level lower so am not so hyper vigilant, and when anything does trigger am able to face it better without freaking out as much.

although combining talkative therapy with meds is probably a better option for HFAs/those with suitable verbal and interactive skills.

I've long suspected that my mother has suffered from PTSD, due to a car accident she was in back in 1995. I was too young to really remember the changes she went through at the time, but they certainly affected me as I developed a severe case of separation anxiety, which I didn't shake until I was 6. I wasn't in the accident, but I had a very close bond with my mother, and when things didn't go well for her, it affected me as well. According to people like my dad and my grandparents, she was more social and outgoing before the accident, and she also didn't have as many neurotic/obsessive traits.

My mother doesn't have the best view of psychotherapy, though I think it would help her a lot if she actually went out and seeked treatment. Might be a hard thing for her to do however, due to her extremely shy and introverted nature.

do you mean T5-T10???

because L5-L10 does not exist

please clarify

I have to admit I'm not a big fan of therapy in any form but I think I would feel better about receiving it for PTSD than anything else I may have. It would have to be with somebody I felt comfortable with though.

I am afraid of therapy for PTSD, worried about it triggering me and what not but not so sure what it would consist of.

was told its the L/lumbar region thats damaged inconplete,possible have gotten the numbers muddled up.

woud it be possible to build up a relationship with a pysch first? using appointments to develop trust with them-although can understand the cost issue,its easier over here because of the NHS.
have known the pyschologist of mine for years and had gradualy learned to trust him by doing things like taking his dog out for a walk,going for coffees-which we still do now as we are both addicts of the stuff.

woud it help speaking to the pysch by email? this is how self and pysch largely communicate due to having severe communication impairment.

Yes, I was diagnosed with ptsd twenty years ago. I had therapy. It can get better.
Now when I see psych they ask if I have it and I say "yes" and they ask what caused it and I tell them "I had therapy for this. I am done with it. If it would help me to talk about it, I'll let you know." That usually ends that discussion and we promptly move on to the next subject.
Personally, I think honoring your experience (and possibly having others honor it also) is a key to "getting over it", but it's not like you'll welcome thinking about it.

Or you can talk and draw about it until you get sick of the subject, and take a stand in your own psyche.

I have it after decades of abuse! The flashbacks are never fun niether are the thoughts of self loathing fealing your worthless either.

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to reply to this thread in a while. I've had a pretty busy schedule for the last few weeks with my academic work but I do appreciate all of the replies that I get on this forum.

There is a possibility that building up a relationship with a psychologist before the therapy begins would make me more comfortable with it. I definitely have a mental block when it comes to seeking or sustaining therapy. I have seen a lot of therapists in my life (for issues unrelated to AS, PTSD or anything else I may have) and most of them have dived right into the therapy as soon as they met me and I didn't like that approach. I've only ever had one therapist in my life that I truly felt comfortable around and that was probably due to me having frequent contact with her outside of therapy and feeling like I could trust her. I can't see her in a therapeutic capacity anymore otherwise I might still be going to therapy. I feel like I need to think about it some more before I start pursuing anything.

Not wanting to confront myself or my memories could be part of it too. My hypothetical case of PTSD is likely to be rooted in the abuse and neglect I endured as a child. I've gotten so used to ignoring it as best as I can and not talking about it since most people can't or don't want to talk about something like that with me.