I used to be schizotypal when I was a teenager
I wonder. I was pretty sure I got Aspergers since all the traits fit perfectly and I know I have had the traits at least since age 3 (repetitive behaviors, high intelligence, stims, inability to play with other children) but yesterday I found my old diary - containing my experiences from age 13 to 18.
My posts since age 13,5(a few days after getting my 1st period) to 16,5 definitely contain very characteristic traits of schizotypal personality disorder - I believed I am a witch (my special interest was Harry Potter back then). I was trying to use magic and I believed it works (there were examples: people getting sick as effect of my "rituals", stuff falling from wall - untouched, "mind control" in a game with 50% chance of scenery change - all can be explained logically now but I can understand why I could see them as magic as an unexperienced teenage). I got also interested in chiromancy and the 2012 prophecy (and 2012 soon become my special interest, I knew everything about it, I was collecting info about all the interpretations and cues - the Mayan callendar, Nibiru, the Sun activity, the prophecies of different clairvoyants etc.). I was also looking for explanations why I am so weird and for a few months I believed I am incarnated angel and I have a mission on the Earth. And I even got into satanism although I didn't attend any meeting and never contacted any satanist. Oh, and at one time I believed everything is breaking (to be honest there was really a lot of items in my house breaking at that time so I can understand why the younger me tried to explain it somehow) because of some hidden force. It all stopped when I become 17 year old.
Now I am pretty sceptical about all the supernatural stuff (even though I am still interested in them - I like finding logical explanations for the unknown) but I still believe in clairvoyance. I mean - I "believe what I see" and I experienced some predictive dreams that came true within 2 days and I even have proves for this - my dream diarys that I was keeping since I was 15 year old (every single dream of my is written there, dreams are my almost life long special interest, I still write down my dreams). But I understand they may be just coincidences. Btw. I consider it somehow unfair - most people believe in God and they are "normal" but people who believe in other stuffs are called "schizotypal".
I am agnostic and in fact I always was like that - even as a small child. At age 8 or so I believed that if the God exists he can only make the usual wishes come true and can't do anything impossible - therefore I was praying for him to help me fall asleep because it was hard for me because of sensory issues. I could spend 3 hours every night rubbing my leg against wall with a funny texture as a stim back then since I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't want my grandma to worry.
Can schizotypal personality come and go by itself when one grows up? Is it common for teenages to believe in supernatural stuff and overgrow it once they become adults? Should I worry?
Oh. BTW. My mom believes in the supernatural all life long (but she is pretty NT when it comes to interaction with people) so I might have been influenced by her. Well, actually I was. I wouldn't even know about most of the stuffs if it wasn't her. She was buying "New Age" newspapers and books and letting me read them so they were just like scientific books for me. Maybe I just took it for granted because I was thinking "if my mom thinks it is true and there are guidebooks and newspapers about it it should be true".
Were you actually diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder?
Just because you believe in the Supernatural doesn't make you Schizotypal (it might make you wacky LOL).
It's very common for adolescents to explore many religions in their search for an identity. This goes for adults, too.
I don't personally believe in supernatural phenomena--but who knows? LOL
How was your behavior as an adolescent? Were you withdrawn? How did you do in school?
Dr. Robert Sapolsky described religion in general as "organized schizophrenia."
I forget when he said it. But all his stuff is worth watching.
Schizophrenia (lecture part 24)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEnklxGAmak
Sapolsky Religion Lecture Dissected, Part 1/6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctTsnTHk6Uw
see 8:00 schizotypal personality, meta magical thinking
(traditionally the "half crazy" or shamans)
I was never officially diagnosed with anything. From my experience doctors over here (Poland) avoid diagnosing. The only diagnosis I ever got was "She is very inteligent and her motor skills are within the norm for her age. She isn't ret*d or anything. She just has to get used to being with other children." - that was what a professional psychologist said when I was sent to one because of my odd behavior in the kindergarden (year 1993). I was visiting some psychologists later in life but never got any diagnosis. I was saying: "I just want to know whats wrong with me. I want to know the name so I can understand." and saying what I experience (for example sensory issues) but for everything I said there was always one, single answer: "I see. How do you feel about it?".
Psychotherapy sucks. I felt totally misunderstood and ignored by those "professionals".
I was always doing well in school - childhood, adolescence and now, as an adult too. I was always at the top of my class. Let's see the diary, my end of year grades for me being 14,5 year old: 1x A+, 6x A, 7x B and 1x C (next year I forced myself and got an A from the subject I got C back then and I was getting a straight A from it till the end of my school life). The only problem was I was keep forgeting stuff: floppy disc for IT, a homework that needed a change in my weekly ritual (they wanted us to check our house water use counter everyday for 5 days and my ritual was checking homeworks only for the subjects we have next day so I couldn't finish the homework because I forgot to gather the data), the need to read a book for Polish lesson, bringing a color paper for Art lesson etc.
I was friendly to everyone, even to my bullies. I was getting friends and losing them (every a few months I was getting another so called friend but then I was getting betrayed by them, losing my trust to them and finding someone else - while staying just as naive as I was before ). On the other hand I got a lot of problems at home. I hated my dad (he has a lot of BPD traits) and sometimes I wanted to kill myself. But even while having the suicidal thoughts I was still doing my best, going on with my special interests, keeping good grades in school and somehow enjoying life. In fact, death became my obsession for a while and it was more fascinating than scary or depressing. I was thinking: "If the life gets worse than I can stand I can just kill myself. I can always escape from there. The only reason I am still here is because I decided so. I am the master of my life.". It might sound scary but for me it was a great motive to keep on living. It was like in the comic I created back then: Click.
I'm no doctor, but it doesn't seem as if you had Schizotypal Disorder. It sounds more like you were just being a kid, really.
Teenagers often ponder death (even "normal" ones).
You might have been a slave to routine (possible OCD, or possible ASD).
Kids forget things all the time; it's part of being a kid.
I never heard of a teenager who didn't hate their parents at one time or another.
I forget when he said it. But all his stuff is worth watching.
Schizophrenia (lecture part 24)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEnklxGAmak
Sapolsky Religion Lecture Dissected, Part 1/6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctTsnTHk6Uw
see 8:00 schizotypal personality, meta magical thinking
(traditionally the "half crazy" or shamans)
I know his standpoint and I think there is a certain connection, even a strong one, but I personally wouldn't go that far. Btw I've a schizotypal suspicion at the moment, meaning that my psychiatrist isn't 100% sure. I'm sure I've at least certain tendencies, but I didn't tell him all my strange believes and stuff because I know some of them don't sound "normal".
But personally I believe more in the standpoint of the ICD-10 were it's called "schizotype disorder" and NOT a personality disorder, but instead part of the schizophrenic spectrum, on it's milder end.
_________________
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen
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