Cyclothymia

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For anyone who doesn't know, cyclothymia is like a more mild form of bipolar or it is sometimes considered a pre-bipolar condition. It may or may not develop into full blown bipolar with age, 50:50 chance as I recall.

Cyclothymia up phase:
I've created this thread today so I've got a record of my up / hyper phase and I'm curious if anyone else relates to this phase:

My mood is definitely in the up phase of cyclothymia today. Right at the peak as high as it ever gets. I'm mildly euphoric and full of fun, teasing and jokes and could talk the leg off a horse. I'm also in a very creative mood, full of ideas, happy with life and the sun is shining. I've found it difficult to get to sleep the last few days and am generally restless and feeling somewhat extrovert. I wish I could be like this all the time. I'll read these words in a few hours or days time and it will seem like a million years ago and I'll be much less chatty and generally miserable or somewhat withdrawn. If people could buy a drug to feel like I do at the moment they would happily pay good money for it.

I can relate - the world is full of fascinating things to learn and do, my self-esteem is really high and I talk much more, although most of the time they're conversations with myself. Sometimes the butterflies I feel are nauseating though and I wish I could slow down (I think the hypomania feeds OCD patterns in my case), so it's not always a purely blissful experience.
I think I have BP II though since when I'm not hypomanic, I often fall into deep, suicidal depression. As far as I understand that's the main difference between cyclothymia and BP II.

Have you ever tried medication for this or did you consider it too mild / beneficial?

My doctor prescribes some mood stabilisers, but I only take them if I'm feeling really down i.e. suicide ideation.

I forgot to list the hight self esteem too.

The strange thing about cyclothymia (as I experience it) is how rapidly the mood can change either up or down for no apparent reason. Either within the next few hours or next few days the mood will suddenly change again to either neutral or miserable. It is frustrating to be at the mercy of unpredictable moods.

Some of the key differences between cyclothymia and bipolar is that I don't experience any paranoia, hallucinations or take part in any risky behaviour. Though I may say some things I wish I hadn't - things that I'd normally censor and ordinarily not say.

On the plus side, you never have to pay for a roller coaster at the theme park since you're already living in one.
I also switch a lot - my hypomanic phases are somewhere between a few hours and 5 days long. Recently I've also identified mixed phases where I feel slightly euphoric and yet too depressed to actually get anything done.

I think those are only associated with BP I where you experience full-blown mania and psychosis.

That sounds confusing. Is it?

I can only speculate since I don't have any diagnosis but I usually don't get much done at the best of times. The difference is on my up cycle I think I'm going to get a lot of things done (and then don't) but on my down cycle I already know I'm not going to get anything done and probably wouldn't be satisfied even if I did accomplish all my goals.
TallyMan, do you find that you have little cycles within big cycles, the way I described on the other thread?

Speed, crack, ecstasy... one of those might do it. /sarcasm. But seriously, I wouldn't want to get too euphoric because because when I get into a really strong up cycle it destroys my ability to concentrate. I think to fast and I think of a new idea before I'm done thinking about the previous idea.

Yes, there are ups and downs within larger ups and downs. The whole thing is erratic. I'm back to an even-keel today. The peak highs like I had the last few days tend to be quite rare, perhaps once or twice a year, though there are lots of smaller highs.

The awful thing is, when I feel more energetic I feel as though I should be doing something with that energy but I still don't have more than a vague idea of what I should do with my life and often that energy gets spent on common household chores which is more like treading water than advancing the course of my life.

Yes, it's a great way to generate feelings of guilt and self-blame. It's still much better than severe depression though. Part of me is wondering whether that question was a subtle hint that I shouldn't take over your thread. Part of me thinks I'm probably paranoid.

Go ahead, speak, we won't mind.

I get hypomanic every spring. It is not as enjoyable as you describe it (for me). I engage in reckless behavior (especially when it comes to spending). I feel the euphoria and creativity and no need for sleep and increase in self-confidence. I also remember feeling irritable and restless. I don't think I would qualify as cyclothymia. I think I am more bipolar 2. I have a seasonal pattern (spring: hypomanic; summer normal; start falling into depression in the fall; lowest moods are in the winter). I hate hypomanic because I always end up wasting a bunch of money and regretting it later. I do get stuff done though.

Interesting how many other Cyclothymia sufferers there are on this board. I was under the impression that it was quite rare. My big patterns are seasonal, because I have SAD, but my little ones are constantly going up and down. Like LookTwice, I notice more mixed cycles. It feels like being torn in half.

I hate hypomania, I talk constantly, say stuff I regret, constant tmi. That's the only time where I really feel "crazy". Gimme depression anyday.

Can SAD work in reverse? I feel a bit worse in the summer.

^ I don't think SAD can work in reverse; it is related to the amount of sunlight falling on the skin or into the eyes, I forget now, so unless you live in a dark place all summer and don't venture outside, you can't get it in the summer.

Cyclothymia low.

Well today I'm on the low part of the cycle. I got lots of sleep last night but was reluctant to get up this morning. My head feels like it is full of fog and I have zero motivation to do anything. I got down on the sofa and had another doze. Spouse will no doubt pester me later on to go and do some work outside, the hedge needs cutting but all I want to do is sit and do nothing. I don't even want to do nothing either, meh, don't know what I want to do. I'm not depressed as such, just completely lacking energy and motivation. I can't think very clearly either, like my brain is running in power saving mode. I have little or no interest in communicating with others or posting on WP.

Yes, stay indoors, heavy curtains, stare at a bright screen in a dark room, go outside at night. That sort of thing is pretty common in Australia. Also it might be that I tend to wake up earlier in winter.

Then again I can feel down at any time of the year.