harry_j_83 wrote:
I am desperately in need of constructive advice as I am having real problems coping with anger and it's destroying my relationships. I get tetchy and burst over seemingly small things. The worst part of it is that I can see the anger coming yet I can't control it, I hope that makes sense.
I had a verbal outburst yesterday and my girlfriend was in the firing line and then a lengthy argument ensued which is potentially more incentive for this relationship finishing. I got frustrated over forgetting to take ID to the phone shop. She was asking me what I was going to do about it but wrongly I took it as criticism.
I have made new year's resolutions for 2015 which I look at on my phone every day. I know I am trying to find ways to change and deal with my problems. But no matter how much and can rationalise when I am calm, I can't seem to control my emotions when it leans towards the negative side.
I am really scared because it feels like I am not in control over my own temper. I really want this problem to stop. It's like I'm just waiting for the next part of my life to unravel and fall to pieces as it seems I have no influence over my own actions.
I also wonder if anyone has taken mood stabilisers for these same issues and whether or not this has helped ease the symptoms of anger and regain some control . I realise these are the kind of meds prescribed to those with bipolar (which clearly doesn't seem to be me at all).
any advice would be appreciated
I recommend getting your thyroid checked, as well as your hormone levels. Thyroid and hormone problems can make a person more susceptible to strong emotions.
I also recommend you see a psychologist who specializes in some type of behavioral therapy, such as CBT or something similar. I recommend a psychologist specifically because I believe they are more methodical to their approach than those without PhDs. It might also help to find out why you get upset over the things you do to begin with.
Generally, when I feel slighted by someone, I quickly ask myself if the reason for their actions, and consider different interpretations of the situation. Keep in mind that most people do not seek to aggravate or upset others, particularly without provocation, because making enemies is generally not conducive to one's well being. As such, most perceived slights are misinterpretations, and most acts of aggression are responses to perceived slights. Next time you feel offended or upset by someone, particularly if it seemed to come out of nowhere, you might try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they did not intend to offend or upset you.
14 May 2015, 4:42 am
