What were your psychotic delusions like?

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Hi all

I was just wondering what your psychotic delusions were like.
Did you have delusions of reference. Like thinking the tv is sending you messages, or did you have - like me - certain words in books were omens warning of some horrible affliction.

My worst episode was tons of fireworks going off all at once everywhere around me and the dog barking downstairs in conjunction with them creating a sense of terror and doom and gloom that built up weeks before.

It would be interesting to know what others have experienced.

Peace out

I have conspiracy theory’s that he government is out to get me. and that aliens are coming to earth soon. not to mention visions i have, then again iv done a butt load of drugs growing up and smoke a alot of pot and drink to. ive also been able to go back in time 40 mniutes which is nice.

I've had delusions about governments also. They always involved reptillian type things and satellites that can see through house roofs and the like. Delusions about govement mind control ,which I'm lead to believe actually could be possible. But there is no evidence for it unless you think a news anchor is communicating with you which is foolish.

I've also had delusions were a goverments (lets say local) were stealing my thoughts and making my brain slow down using entities that had infiltrated government servicemen like ambulance officals and the like. Scary stuff.

When I was suffering from a psychotic depression I believed my girlfriend I was in an LDR with was in trouble because I wasn't near her to "save" her even after we broke up. i stalked her posts on a forum believing everything was about me. I also sometimes wondered if people could read my thoughts & if they were stalking my online activity. I also felt like the world was doomed if I didn't do something to "save" it. Like 10 years later I developed a crush on a celebrity that kind of developed into something like a delusional disorder. I take Haldol for it but I still love her but I'm no longer worried about her or feel horrible quilt about feeling like I'm cheating on my girlfriend because of it.

When I was ill I was getting information from the television and in magazines about the communists who were planning to take the planet over. I also had other strange experiences with the number 42. Whenever I saw the number it would appear fuzzy and slightly vibrate. It really gave me the creeps, because I believed some higher being was telling me my death would occur at that age. I'm still bothered by this even though I have recovered.

I am not sure if it was psychotic delusion or not but as teenager I was pretty sure I am a demon incarnated in human body and my powers might wake up at any moment.
It was my own explanation of why I was so different from other kids.
Now I would call it an "eight grader syndrome".

I used to have dreams that were so vivid and realistic that I didn't know I wasn't awake. I feared something terrible would happen in these dreams, and, because of the fear, I stayed awake as long as I could and frequently suffered sleep deprivation. I got to where I would fall asleep during the day, and I never knew when I was going to have one of those scary dreams. I heard voices telling me I was going to die in the dreams. I heard the dreams tell me that God didn't love me. Sometimes I even heard people in the dreams scream obscenities at God. I could also feel heat, like something was trying to drag me to some kind of eternal inferno. I could also hear my own thoughts screaming at me as loudly as voices outside in these dreams. I thought I was going crazy, like maybe spirits from another world were trying to communicate with me.

I remember one such dream. I woke up in my room, and everything on the side of the room at which I was looking appeared normal. I saw my bed, my wall, and a few items on the floor, but then I turned around, where the floor should have been, I saw a huge gaping cavern pit that looked like it went on for miles. I freaked out, turned to the normal side of the room, and prayed to wake up.

My most common one is that my biological father was actually part of a secret society that was experimenting on improving the human race using their own children and studying them. I believe that a lot of the people around me are their agents. I also fear that I am a failed experiment and that they will decide to get rid of me soon. I normally have these thoughts and fears under control with medication and logical thinking, but every few years the illness breaks free and I spend weeks hiding in my darkened room. Totally sure that they were just waiting for my guard to drop so they could clean up their failure.

There are other delusional thoughts running around in my head but this one was always the strongest.

That cutting (self harming) would get god to speak to me face to face, I also thought that I could prove god existed to everybody by doing so

My delusions are too difficult to explain. I'll try to anyway. I believed that thoughts came spirits communicating from another dimension the spirit of the prime number pattern and the spirit of logic. I believed there is a single soul trapped in a hell beyond which we can imagine. The soul sacrificed itself in an eternity of torment in order to create the universe which live in now. I imagined the end of our universe which I wrote a story about. Due to mankinds effort or rather our decenants, the universe becomes aware. It can conjure up concepts like love and misery in physical form. It can conjure up any power or manifestation of the imagination. Then an anomaly is detected. The universe conjures a crew to investigate. They conjure up all concepts. First they try to isolate the growing anomaly in time. (Pausing it or freezing it). It fails. Then something unusual happens, the universe forgets what it means to freeze something in time. The universe loses that concept and acts as if it has just encountered the aomaly. It probes the anomaly and loses all concept of what it means to probe. One by one the universe loses concepts, oblivious it sends it love. And the universe falls into chaos.