Any "bipolar-leaning" aspies relate to this?

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I have never been diagnosed with bipolar, even when I was a kid and regularly seen by psychiatrists. However, I definitely have a tendency toward hypomania, and was on lithium for a good deal of my childhood. I also feel like emotionally I am quite different from the "average" aspie, in particular in the way I relate to special interests.

I am not just intellectually interested in complex, technical things, but have a strong emotional relationship to them as well. I don't just mean the emotional need I have to think about them, I mean that I actually seek a kind of "transcendent" beauty in them, and for lack of a better word "romanticize" them. I feel that understanding them is like having some magic key to the meaning of life and the universe. It's not a quiet, simple beauty like a perfect circle or one short equation that I seek in them, more like an intricate dance or a nature painting. In my more hypomanic phases, I feel like I'm on the edge of some breakthrough, like I'm about to catch a glimpse of the intellectual equivalent of the Grand Canyon, and the landscape of thoughts becomes in some way intensely romantic, almost sexy even.

I feel like many aspies are quite methodical and even-tempered, and if they do romanticize something, it's the world of humans like with most NTs. Whereas I am as prone to leaps of vision and intuition as I am to hyper-rational analysis, tending more toward the former in "up" moods and the latter in "low" ones. It's just that because of my Asperger's, my romanticizing, "sentimental" side is directed at the world of ideas rather than at the social world. I'm wondering if the reason other aspies don't seem like this is because they don't have bipolar tendencies. What do you think?

I also should mention that this seeking all-encompassing beauty in my interests is something that I developed mostly since my early teen years. As a child, as I said, I was on various medications, but even when I was unstable as a kid it didn't manifest in this sort of way. It showed then as a tendency toward anger alternating with silliness.

Hi, I was actively wondering if anyone would respond to this too and because its too slow to type at times,
I’m using a word processor. When I was here before trying to manifest my own childhood, I realised I didn’t really match the criteria or they didn’t get what I was emotionally trying to convey. I'll pm next time.

I was never on any sort of drugs but I used to get really bad colds all the time and that would often be ‘enough’ to get my results posted off to the lab and that was it.

Being made fun of is an aspie trait others who misread us have no idea of knowing but, when you are prone to depression and illnesses all the time, life is not only misleading but wrongly judged by others who aren’t getting mood swings.

For the bi-polar aspie, I think managing your condition is a lot harder when faced on your own but knowing there’s not really any other way forwards either.

The main criticism of romanticising strengths or weaknesses are not due to a prolonged schizo affective disorder that makes the fantasies seem as real to you as in a dream.

I know that I used to dream a lot when I was younger and if I dream now, I don’t have the energy to come up with 'why did I dream that' dilemma anymore and just learn to deal with it.

Besides the aspie traits, we all have unique identities, whether it’s a timed structured analysis or not.
I hate debating NT aspies all the time as if they can’t convey any meaning and a typical aspie can.
If you claim to not have any aspie traits, better to just say I’m autistic.
If you haven’t got them on your back about a comment, then its another ‘family member’ or someone trying to grass up the non benefits of their family disorder.

If I see anyone here now, I used to know as being unpopular with their bad comments, then I will just have to ignore them completely. I don't know if a report button will alter anything.

If you don’t know what its like to have an inner conflict, rather than trying to reason with it, best just to leave it be.