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Joanne1598
Emu Egg
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Joined: 12 Feb 2014
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom

17 Feb 2016, 3:28 pm

So where to start?
My depression and mood swings have been getting worse these past few months
my doctor referred me to a mental health unit to get diagnosed as she thought I might be bipolar
They basically turned around and told me because I wasn’t dangerous to anyone else they weren’t going to do anything and they didn’t want to up my meds because of side effects.

But everything got so much worse a few weeks back.
I started looking up different conspiracy theories and stuff about religion… like the second coming of Christ and the book of revelations, or the new world order and micro-chipping and government corruption after seeing some documentary.
What started as a bit of an interest has now turned into a terrible obsession.
I mean even when I’m not thinking about it, its there. In my head. Its always there.
My mind seems so fuzzy and full and like a whirlwind of sh***y thoughts.
I am so paranoid and scared about all of this and its really out of character for me.. I mean I’m not even religious at all. And deep down I know it can’t make sense and I don’t really believe it.
But its like this darkness is taking over me, believing it all.
I’m terrified
I have stopped taking my anti-depressants also because I feel like they’re trying to keep me drugged up
I am paranoid thinking I have a chip in me, and that it makes sense that it explains a lot
loads of random s**t.
I’m struggling to sleep at night now
and I have work on Friday and I’m dreading it
I’m scared to go
and I just want to quit my job
and I just want to hide away
i feel like im going crazy
and i feel like every other thing i usually feel like imaganing my own death and suicide and stuff is so much worse.

Can anyone give me any advice on what to do?
I feel like running away and hiding and i don’t know
Please help. :cry:



Ashariel
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Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,779
Location: US

18 Feb 2016, 10:15 am

Coming off meds can absolutely make you feel crazy like that. I did it once (because my doctor failed to warn me it was a bad idea) - and I was convinced I had supernatural psychic powers, before winding up in suicide lockdown.

I'd recommend calling your doctor again, and letting her know it's serious, and you're having suicidal thoughts. Doctors are required to treat you for suicidal feelings, and it qualifies as 'being a danger to yourself or others'.

If it's any comfort, I don't think you're going crazy. I think those particular meds weren't right for you, and coming off them made you feel even worse. Autistics don't always react well to meds (I don't take them at all for that reason) - but it's something each person has to figure out through trial and error, and your doctor should be able help you with that!



RubyTates
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Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 183
Location: Los Angeles, Ca

18 Feb 2016, 10:40 pm

I think you might also want to monitor your diet, like I did. That helped to lessen any mood swings I was experiencing. I started incorporating more fruits and vegetables into my diet and less sugar. I found that anytime I ingested something that was high in sugar I became depressed and had a terrible mood swing episode. Also, try exercising more. These are all the tips I have for now. I do not think you want to go on any meds, the withdrawal from them is horrible but if you think you need to I encourage you to seek a second opinion. Also, you might want to check you b12 levels and increase all of your b vitamin intake for now. That can really help you body and your mind when you are putting the right nutrients in it.