I EXIST, why doesn't anyone else?

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I have a gifted IQ, a handful of diagnoses and some luck in life and I STILL question everything and trust nothing. After so many failed coping mechanisms I still don't really understand why my life is ...meh (sarcasm!, maybe?, who knows?). For 4 years, I have had a partner who is half my age, schizophrenic, and has directly saved my life 5 times (I cry when I write that and hate myself because it's not fair somehow and I don't understand what it means). I am a computer geek and science nerd who was lucky to make it through a 4 year enlistment between episodes (actually I lie, it was 3 years and I was unlucky and got a general under honorable conditions because they were lazy and didn't do a psych which would have gotten me disability). I averaged over 60K per year for these 4 years and we still lived in motels or on the street. Yet, having lost my job and both of us living under a tarpaulin in a local park and other exotic locals, I still question his love and sincerity. Well, something in here is either profound or total BS. Stream of consciousnesses I guess.

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ASD, ADHD-PI, PTSD , BI-Polar 2

Quetiapine 300mg Morning
Quetiapine 100mg Night
Depakote 1500mg Night
Sertaline 75mg 2xDaily
Bupropion 100mg 2xDaily
Gabapentin 600mg Morning
Gabapentin 300mg Night

Imagine my therapist's embarrassment when it turned out they really were after me.

I too question everything and trust nothing. In fact, I am not convinced that you do exist. It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just that nothing you’ve written is conclusive proof or your existence in my universe. That, and I don’t believe anyone, so nothing personal, the questioning everything is my problem.

Here, have some pi, it will make you feel better: 4∑(n=0,∞)[(-1)^n/(2n+1)]