Anyone else feel morbidly depressed at routine changes?

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I don't know if it's just me, but I come so depressed at the tiniest change of my routine, yet I don't come depressed when there's a big change in my routine. Because I'm bored with my life, I crave big changes - but it's just the tiniest changes what really make me feel all depressed, in a strange sort of way. It's quite eerie really.

And these changes aren't even proper changes - they're just a change of person in my daily routine or something. For example, my dad is normally at work every week-day, and my mum only works 2 days a week and so is normally just at home, giving the house a spring clean and so on - and that's the way it's always been, ever since I was born (well, my mum has had her jobs and hours changed throughout my childhood, but she's still mostly been at home). But just last Monday my dad was at home, and was doing up the bathroom (tools and sawdust everywhere, noise and all), and I just felt really strange all day - all because my dad was off doing work in the bathroom, and he's not normally at home in the week. Just one day of somebody being at home made me feel really, really depressed all day - so depressed that I began to hate myself (more than I generally do), and my dad being at home making a mess wasn't really what I was exactly depressed about - but I just seem to feel this way when there's a little change going on in the day. (Then when the bathroom was done, I was so pleased at the bathroom, so it wasn't the change of the bathroom making me depressed).

It's a funny sort of depression aswell. It's not a depression where I sit there feeling sad. It's a depression where I feel fed up and suddenly hate being me, and can't be arsed to go on. It's also a depression what is easy to put on a happy front with other people, but when I'm on my own I feel rotton. It's that sort of depression - a very strange sort.

Does anyone else ever feel this way at the slightest change of routine, even though the actual change isn't the cause of the sudden depression? (If that makes sense). Before Christmas I had to go on a course, in a completely different place at completely different times with completely different people doing completely different things - which was a huge change, but that didn't make me feel depressed at all. In fact, it made me feel happy and excited (although nervous too, but everybody in the world feels a little nervous when going somewhere different). But when there's a tiny change, eg someone who should be at work has a day off, or the bus breaking down, or just something else slightly breaking the routine seems to make me get swallowed up into morbid depression for a couple of days - I really don't know why. Anyone know a logical explanation for this strange feeling?

i feel lousy every time i have to kill a bug.

Omg I know exactly what your talking about! I don't really get depressed but it puts me in a funk for the rest of the day. If something in my routine changes like my therapist appointment day or time changes it bugs me. If I can't take a bath at my bathtime it bugs the heck out of me. If my mom has a day off and she doesn't tell me and she's home it really bugs me. I have no idea what to do about it other than to let it pass. But yes, your are not alone!

I realise that it has been months since this thread has had a reply, but I wanted to add to it.

Yes. I understand how you feel. When something happens to my daily routine such as missing the bus/train I planned to catch (even if there is another one ten minutes later) I become very frustrated at everything and feel like giving up on my plans for that day and go back to sleep. I hate changes in my plans, but at the same time I want something interesting to happen to me because I'm quite bored of my life. It's a lose-lose situation. Can't live without my routines, and I'm just bearing it with them.

I often get agitated at routine changes. My life is a bunch of lists.... I have in my mind the way I want to do things and if I can't, I get stressed. This happened a lot house sharing, when I couldn't cook if flatmates were in the kitchen and also, if somebody moves something out of place.

Trust me, you are not alone. I want to start crying when I change something to my room! I also feel strange when a parent stays home. It makes me strangely sad and gloomy when something is different.

^^^welcome to WP