Advice for GAD, past trauma + meltdowns

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Hello

Please offer helpful advice from personal experience if you can. I want to know how other aspies cope day-to-day with comorbid mental health issues (particulary anxiety), past trauma, and intense emotions you can't identify, understand or soothe.

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I experienced bullying and abuse throughout my childhood and adolescence. I've been chronically stressed and anxious since primary school. The stress causes periodic insomnia, which exacerbates the anxiety and impairs me cognitively. I find it hard to focus and get things done, leading to frequent meltdowns. (It is my understanding that autistic adults should rarely have meltdowns). After a while I spiral down to a point where I become depressed about my anxiety and inability to cope, often have very stressful dreams where I wake up feeling even more exhausted, and start thinking about suicide (usually around my menstrual cycle). Slowly I become less distraught, then I go back to being anxious again once I've finished menstruating and the cycle continues. Identifying and understanding this cycle is not enough. I need better coping and management strategies because I hate living like this and am thoroughly sick of it.

Some background info:

I was not diagnosed in childhood. Therefore I did not receive any autism or mental health-related services while growing up. My parents and teachers struggled to understand why I struggled with the most basic tasks despite my high IQ. They were more reprimanding (and abusive) than understanding.

I have yet to learn some basic life skills such as how to organise myself or regulate and deal with my intense emotions/distress without outsourcing them to other people or shutting down completely.

Things I've tried:

- Psychologists
- SSRIs
- Hormonal contraceptives
- Various mainstream resources on anxiety help/management
- Various natural remedies for anxiety and stress.

I would like to know what works for you or for someone you know with similar issues to me:

How do you manage your anxiety?
How do you get to sleep when you're stressed?
How do you organise yourself and stay on top of everything?
How do you calm your emotions?
How do you prevent meltdowns?
How do you handle meltdowns when they happen?
How do you deal with emotions in a healthy way? (ie not outsourcing them and not shutting down).

Thank you for listening <3

Perhaps the many questions have been a disincentive to potential responses. As well as many existing threads on WP, you could look at some of the websites run by female autistics like the Autistic Women's Network. There are lots of videos on You-Tube too where autistic women present issues on anxiety etc from the perspective of co-morbidity based on both their personal experience and observations within the wider autistic community.

I have GAD & some other anxiety disorders. The anxiety made it hard for me to sleep sometimes. I was also bullied alot as a kid & being stressed contributed to meltdowns for me. I had lots of meltdowns till I moved out of my parents & in with my girlfriend because my parents were really stressing me out.

I take Buspar for my anxiety which helps it a lot. It's specially for anxiety instead of being an antidepressant & it's not a benzodiazepine. It's not additive but like antidepressants you need to be on it a while before you notice benefit. You can also take it with other meds. Another med idea to try is a BetaBlocker. They're sometimes used to help with anxiety & stress. BetaBlockers can be taken with other meds & also be taken with Buspar. I also take the antipsychotic Haldol/Haloperidol which helps with my meltdowns & makes me more tired which helps me sleep. I'd recommend trying Buspar & a couple BetaBlockers before going on an antipsychotic thou.

Hi T4shp13,

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time.

I was diagnosed with GAD, OCD, and depression as a kid and have seen a number of therapists. I joined this forum because I related to a bunch of the social skills threads on here, as well as the deep discussions. I don't have an ASD diagnosis. With that disclaimer out of the way...

Every therapist, every support group, and a few of the self-help books I've read have helped in some way. It's been a gradual journey of acceptance and discovery for me. It took me a long time to get better at meditating, still working on it. Very gradually, I've gotten better at breathing instead of snapping at people after some minor annoyance sends me over the edge. The vivid, stressful dreams have gotten fewer, though no one else I know feels actual physical pain in their dreams the way I do. Over the years, I've been able to prevent some of my would-be anxiety attacks by learning to be more mindful of the present moment.

I wish I could write a few sentences and change your world. Maybe if I knew your starting point with a particular coping strategy, and if I've been there, maybe I could share some useful part of my journey? I wish it was that simple.

How do you manage your anxiety?
Dielectic behavioral therapy. It takes some time to read up on it all but its interesting as well as therapeutic.

How do you get to sleep when you're stressed?
I don't.

How do you organise yourself and stay on top of everything?
I don't.

How do you calm your emotions?
Dielectic behavioral therapy and medications though they don't work well.

How do you deal with emotions in a healthy way? (ie not outsourcing them and not shutting down).
Empathize with what the perceived source of your emotion is. For example "is my anger at this person reasonable, what is it like form their point of view?"

Hi everyone, thank you for responding to my post! I was beginning to think no one would respond because, as B19 suggested, perhaps I asked too many questions! Well this is the first time I've started a discussion here so it's a learning experience...

I don't mind if people only pick 1 question to answer. I don't expect anyone to answer all of them. I'm really struggling at the moment and any insights you can offer relevant to my experience are most appreciated.

I've spent a lot of my life feeling alone, alien, and like there's something fundamentally wrong with me - until I found out about autism. Now I'm trying to find a way to fix or at least better manage my problems so that I can lead a happy life and become a functioning and productive member of society.

Thank you again for your time <3