A completely blank mind.

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I'm going through psychosis and was put on medication I also have a mild form of asperger's syndrome . Risperidone and Abilfy is the medication that I am on. The problem that I have is a completely blank mind, there is literally no mental activity going on in my mind which is the reason I talk aloud to myself. Your probably wondering if I can talk to myself that indicates some mental activity and it's probably going on in a region of the brain that my awareness has no access to. I also have no pictures inside my head, if they are there, there only for a fleeting half a second. My memory seems to be working okay though.

I still have all my delusional stuff with the television which I believe is a delusion of reference. It has communicated with me in my particular schizophrenia, like it references my actions.

It all involves the government and stuff, you know thinking siren noises are for you. That is actually a good question I need to ask here, can the police or ambulance officials see us inside our homes? All the doctor told me was the police are just regular people that put on a uniform and go about the day.

Do any of you suffer from this perplexing cognitive impairment and do you think it's most likely the medication? The voice inside the head, you know the one when you read is extremely hard to use in my instance.

I'm an atheist if that matters so I don't get religious themes with my delusions.

Well, I take sertraline for my OCD, and I've noticed before that it does somewhat impair my mental faculties. The brain fog I get on it now isn't as bad as it used to be, but I remember being amazed by how much smarter I felt when I went off of it. Of course, this was at the cost of increased anxiety and obsessive-compulsive behavior.

I'm still not 100% sure whether sertraline does any good for me or not. When I'm on it, I'm not sure whether it's working or not. When i'm off it, I can usually tell something is wrong.

I had similar type of delusions when I was suffering from a psychotic depression. I felt like I never really had much thoughts in my head thou all my life. I zone out & daydream aLOT but I don't really think about anything much while I'm doing it.

I know to some degree what you mean by having a 'blank mind'; I experience that as well. Though I view it as a positive trait and really enjoy that time of 'nothingness'. Do you and why do you dislike these moments? It is probably the medication but take a larger view of the situation such as the reduction in psychotic symptoms.

Yeah your right. That is another way to look at this situation. I've heard that in meditation that state actually is the state to be achieved although I don't meditate.
It just feels different this nothingness.

Antipsychotics don't target specific symptoms - they work by kind of tranquilizing your whole brain, which reduces the more difficult/scary stuff, like paranoid thoughts, but it also means a lot of other cognitive processes can feel slower, or even seem to stop altogether. I had similar experiences when I was on antipsychs.

I've also meditated regularly at various times in my life - the empty mind of meditation is very different to the empty mind of antipsych medication, in my experience.

Police and other officials cannot see inside your home, and they really are just ordinary people wearing a uniform. However, I can relate to feeling as though people can spy on you, or see inside your head, etc. It can be very scary and difficult to talk about with others.

I can also relate to what you said about feeling like thoughts and speech are coming from a part of you to which you have no access. I did not experience that as a side effect of meds though - if anything, it helped me to cope with the foggy, blank mind side effects, because at least part of me was still thinking & feeling, even if "I" (whatever "I" means in this context) couldn't access it directly.

I dont have pictures in my mind either. I think basically in abstracts or words rather than in pictures. So I guess that's normal and not something you should worry about.

As for cops and such being able to see inside our homes, the answer is no. If they could then they wouldn't need search warrants and they could solve crimes very easily. Do you wonder if they are in some way special and have powers to see inside there or that they have some kind of equipment that helps them do it? Neither one is true, but I'm just wondering which you meant by seeing inside our homes. They really are just regular people who applied for the job, went to training to learn the physical stuff and all they need to do and who just get up and go to work and come home and do what everybody else does.

When people meditate, the goal is to just have your mind be blank. Have you ever tried meditation? If you have a blank mind a lot of times then you might be good at it. You're supposed to just be still and let thoughts come and go and not dwell on any of them. I'm always thinking abuot something or worrying or planning or remembering something I need to do so I can't do it at all.

I know that some meds can make it very hard to think. Once when I had a migraine and went to the ER for it, this idiot gave me thorazine and vistiril instead of demerol and phenergan and it made it almost impossible to think. I remember the feeling and remember saying how hard it was to actually think after that shot and I had never imagined that a drug could do that to anybody. It was horrible.

But no, cops nor fire department can see inside our homes or anything like that. Where did you get that idea from?

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Hi, thanks for the replys. I guess I got it from a time when I was going through strong psychosis, I just heard loads of siren noises, they were usually at the back of my house. And I can't see them because there is this gigantic bush that blocks that street over there. I guess I just connected it altogether and felt they can read my mind and read the feelings inside my body, etc. I still get that to this day which indicates they are strong beliefs buried deep in the subconscious mind.

It's nice to know others disagree with me! Everybody I've mentioned it to in my life has said they same things, no they cannot watch you inside your house. They don't have the capability. And like you said there would be no point in the F.B.I or Mi5 or similar, departments that investigate crimes because they would be no crimes ever again. Unless they are allowed to happen which would indicate the system is very corrupt. My doctor told me the same thing also, there regular folk who put on a uniform and do there job well. They have no supernatural powers.

Regarding meditation, I don't meditate. I've tried it in the past because I went to Buddhism for a while. I went to theravada buddhism and it says to properly meditate you need to work through the 5 hindrances which are as follows:

1.) Sensory Desire (eating foods, sleeping too long, washing hair, stylizing hair and so on)
2.) Anger & Ill Will
3.) Restlessness & Remorse (anxiety)
4.) Sloth & Torpor
5.) Doubt

You do the above and the breath turns into Samadi or pure concentration and you can reach the end of a craving and enter into a nimitta, which will show you how the craving came to be. I went to theravada buddhism but i don't go there these days because I don't meditate. In fact Buddhism is what messed me up the most, there is a thin line between madness and genius and meditation is playing around with the mechanics of the mind which is a no no in my opinion . So I won't go to it ever again. I also have Asperger's Syndrome which is a mild form of autism so I have tons of obsessive stuff swirling around in my head and my behaviours.

Peace out