Why I hate it when my aunt decides to stay (sensory issues)

Post Reply New Topic

Different people in the house means different food and smells to deal with. Whenever my aunt comes over, my family make food that they don't often make when I'm around.

She leaves containers open, and pieces of food on the work tops in the kitchen. I usually have to spray vanilla spray in there before I even feel comfortable going into the kitchen when she's around.

The fridge is horrible, I hate looking in there because of the stupid overwhelming smells of her food. Ugh. So I tend to look in cupboards for food until she leaves and then the fridge can go back to smelling like it usually does.

I've tried various techniques, like rubbing soap underneath my nose so meal times are easier. I opted out of going on a day trip today because it sounds like it would be busy, and they've all brought horrible sandwiches because of course they have.

Usually this wouldn't be so much of an issue, but it's harder to slip away places or use my coping techniques because my aunt always questions what I do and she always forgets the reason, and when I'm having an overload I don't particularly want to stop and explain that.

My mum always complains about the foods she's had to cut out her life or reduce because of me. Yeah well I want myself to leave this place too dammit, but I'll be living at home for my first year of University so my mum and I will just have to deal some more.

Although, even at University I will be sharing with people, but still- I look forward to when I can live alone and not have to put up with people's foods and shamed for fussy taste /having meltdowns/ having to stop and explain what I am doing. Ugh.

I don't hate my aunt per say, I just hate it when she visits.

Have you ever read the bible about mary and martha. It reminds me of you.

Kind Regards, Nay.

No, I haven't. Who do I remind you of, Mary or Martha? Is there some kind of special meaning to that section or something? I'm an atheist, so religion isn't really my forte.

Not to worry you, but I found the other students I briefly shared a house with at my first uni a nightmare regarding their noisy, messy, smelly (and in one particular case: horrifically unhygienic) habits. Things may have been different if I'd asserted myself from the beginning however, and perhaps even drawn up the rules for vital things like laundry/bin duties etc... when new arrivals are more likely to take the hint.

In these scenarios, though it's hard, you have to put your foot down and make extra clear that you're not just being finicky, picky or unreasonable: that there's a legitimate reason for the discomfort you're feeling and somehow, a compromise must be met. Sometimes it's a matter of weighing up the action against the size of the opposition you'll face from mentioning it - those situations when you just know the other person has no idea what you're talking about or why it bothers you.

I have a longstanding problem with the way my dad drums his fingertips against the steering wheel when we're in the car together, I don't know why it disrupts my peace so much but my only defence is cranking the window down so the wind drowns that damn sound out a little! That's a fight I'm not willing to risk - weighed up against the benefits of free lifts, of course.

Anyway, I sincerely hope the situation with your aunt and other family members improve.

Yeah, stuff like that sometimes concerns me about the idea of staying at University. I currently commute, but I am considering staying in accommodation in my second year. The thing is, I don't feel like there is a legitimate reason for my discomfort, I am a finicky and picky person. I'll admit that. It can be hard to describe what I feel when I experience overload to others, because people usually just don't get it. My sister refers to it as anxiety, and if I start acting weird at the dinner table she asks if I want to go in the other room, or sometimes I just bring another table into the next room myself and eat alone. This is difficult when I eat with friends or relatives I don't see very much, as they are less aware of how I can be.

When my aunt stays, or my mum has a party and perfume lingers in the air, it can make me feel uncomfortable. I usually blame the issues with the perfume on my asthma, but sometimes it's just the unfamiliarity I dislike about it.

One of my pet peeves is when you tell someone that something bothers you sensory wise, so they do it anyway to try and get a reaction out of you. It's all in jest, sure, but I end up feeling like the punchline at times. I just wish people understood more, if only they could experience it then maybe they'd get it.



It can be annoying when something bothers you and you can't figure out why. I usually gravitate towards using music or going somewhere quieter if possible and appropriate to the situation. My aunt doesn't stay very often. When I posted this thread, she was indeed staying with us. But she went back home ages ago. Sadly, I think my family are always going to be annoyed at me, and I'll still feel somewhat guilty about it.

That's a strange thing to say. Mary was busy cooking because she wanted everyone to have a nice big meal. But Jesus told her not to worry too much and only a few things would do and she should come and enjoy their friendly company with her sister Mary.

He was saying that not only did they appreciate her company, but also that she would enjoy spiritual things in the long run over a good meal.

That's not anywhere near the same as having sensory issues with food.

I understand the food smell issue thing. My Mum has issues too. I didn't understand when I was living with her. She really hated the smell of vegetable soup. It was too much for her.

I wasn't being mean.

Out of curiosity- what did you mean by your original statement anyway?

Exactly what i said.....

I'm sorry for not being helpful, i don't know what to say to your situation. You need to be last in order to be first.
Serve your family and take their crap. When i say take their crap i mean commit it to Jesus and let go of it. I know your not a Christian but you are making a grave mistake by not accepting Jesus. He died for you. Whether you like/accept that or not. He did. This life is a time for you to make your decision for Christ, because after it'll be too late.

Kind Regards, Nay.

Nope, I'm good. I've been a Christian before since school kind of forced religion onto me at a young age, then I decided I didn't believe in it, and I ain't going back.

But, if you believe in Jesus, God, invisible spying sky wizard or whatever, don't let me stop you. I'll do what I like when it comes to serving or not serving my family thanks, and the same goes with what I choose to believe.

And with that, I bid you a good day Sir.