Hi everybody,
I have autism spectrum disorder and historically would say my main issues were depression, anxiety, OCD and anger issues and aggressive impulses I had to fight not to act on (I suspect heavily as a result of the autism). I don't really ever remember being happy.
I was originally put on SSRIs by the psychiatrist at the autism centre (Zoloft) and it felt simply divine. I was happy for the first time in my life, stopped hating everybody around me and became engaged with people and sociable, albeit far too much. After 6 weeks I'd swung heavily into mania and one day became aggressive. My psych told me I could never again go on SSRIs and needed mood stabilisers. I've been on Sodium Valproate for over 2 months now, but I feel the longer time goes on, the more depressed I feel.
I don't enjoy anything anymore, I'm becoming sad, I have no motivation to do anything and I feel like everybody is a constant irritation and every time I try to get close to them I just want to be alone again because I get angry / irritated / stressed.
I really miss how I felt in the early times with Zoloft. Is there any medication that will get me back to feeling happy but without inducing mania?
Thank you for your time and support.