ADHD / autism spectrum internal conflict

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I have both ADHD and ASD. Docs said I'm at the mild end of the autism spectrum, which used to be aspergers.

The dual diagnosis is fine, but it doesn't tell me how ADHD and ASD interact. My current psychologist is going to refer me for some specialist autism therapy sessions. While I'm waiting for the sessions, I've been doing some research on ADHD/ASD comorbidity.

I'm starting to think that the ADHD is the reason for my impulsive and addiction prone behaviour. While ASD provides logic, obsession and emotionally detachment. I've often found myself doing things on impulsive or to satisfy my curiosity and then later hating myself for my rash and illogical behaviour. Now wondering if this life long internal conflict is the result of ADHD and ASD clashing with each other. At times, these conflicts have led me to really hate myself.

For those with ADHD and ASD(aspergers), do you have similar conflicts ? Or do they interaction in other ways.

Does this internal conflict theory sound possible ? Want to discuss this with the therapist when I get to see them.

I am ADHD and ASD as well, and I experience conflicts all the time. For instance, if I develop a special interest in something, as much as I would like to imbibe as much knowledge on the subject as possible, I have a difficult time making that happen because as soon as I start reading about something or trying to learn more about it, I lose focus on whatever I'm doing in the moment. Meanwhile, the special interest continues to gnaw at me on a broader scale, and I find it difficult to satisfy my need to know more about it.

Your internal conflict theory makes sense to me. I have ASD (Asperger's) and ADHD (inattentive) as well and I've definitely experienced similar, almost paradoxical behavior patterns throughout my life. For example, I'll get obsessively interested on a very specific interest, it's all I can focus/hyperfocus on for days, weeks, a few months (at the longest)...and then just as quickly as I became obsessed with it, I'll drop it and jump to something else just as intensely. Other times, I'll be very cool, rational, and logical about a situation, to the point where others consider it my whole identity...and then something in my head switches and I'm impulsive, unfocused, scattered, looking for thrills. It's confusing at best, distressing at worst. Plus, extremely inconvenient, when I'm trying to get work done and my brain is too hyperfocused on my fleeting Special Interest of the Moment to focus on what actually needs to get done.

I relate to the feeling of shame too, since I pride myself on my Asperger's related ability to fixate on my work and block out everything else - only for it to completely disintegrate when the ADHD comes into play.

I also experience the discord when performing my autistic rituals, when occasionally I'm just far too distracted to complete them as I normally do, and it ends up taking way, way too long, or I don't get to complete them at all, which is anxiety producing, so I have to force myself to complete the regular rituals, because I autistically have to but it's exhausting combating the ADHD part of my brain that is everywhere and nowhere at once.

It's a fun combination.

There have been some great replies here. Seems that others with ADHD and ASD also have these conflicts. I noticed that a few have mentioned specialist interests, too. I know exactly what you mean. A subject can be intensely interesting and I'll be thoroughly absorbed for hours or days or weeks. But if it's not interesting, then the boredom can be excruciating.

The ADHD comes from the heart: fun, impulsive acts, enthusiasm
The ASD comes from the head: logic, order, routine

Together: either obsession and focus. Or acute boredom.

I have ASD undiagnosed and ADHD diagnosed. I struggle with special interests too and these intesests can be offensive to some ppl like religion and race. I also have a special interest in bad stuff that goes on and I have rituals like listening to scanner radio. I wanted to be a cop but they don't hire mentally ill ppl.

They are pretty much two sides of the same thing. So much, that 5 years ago the diagnostic categories didn't allow to diagnose ADHD and a ASD together, cause ASD includes an attention deficit. Now they diagnose that only when the attention deficit is very important. But it seems like the extreme of a continuum to me.
Did you get meds for the ADHD? That's what matters, the consequences of your diagnose.

In your case your ADHD was more evident, then. And of course, diagnosing very "high functioning" Asperger disorder in adults is something not so common, and pretty "new" (that's maybe why for you it came in a second place). And still, many professionals that I talk to believe that it's impossible that some autistic spectrum disorder remain undiagnosed for the whole childhood, and therefore it's nothing you can first discover in an adult. Cause they still think that autism is something you would notice in a person as soon as he/she appears in the room. That's my eternal fight. Against psychologists and teachers.

At least, they know already that it's possible to first diagnose ADHD in an adult, since many fathers or mothers of ADHD children realize that they are ADHD too, only after they get their child's diagnose and then join the pieces.

Good that you know now exactly what your difficulties are! And you can accept them and work in them.