I have a problem with frequent amnesia. It is not the kind were a personality takes over. I keep having bouts were long periods of my life are blank. The amnesia is like "Poof" gone. Some times months, other times many years are gone. It is not the whole time of months or so, but just part around certain pain. Like I can remember I went to school, but I can only remember a few seconds of the years. I went a school only when I was in 2nd grade. Most of the time I can't remember even going to school. Just a blank of being 7 years old.
I am not sure if it is caused by my personalities. Sometimes I think it is a personality that takes my memories.
I know there are two triggers. One trigger is where a very close girlfriend is lost, usually to a bad death. The other trigger is when my life changes and I go from having lots of friends to being alone.
Sometimes the memories come an go. Like when I have the next girlfriend, I can then, at times, I can remember all. It is the same when after I have good friends again.
It drive me crazy. I loose everything, can't remember friends, things I learned, everything. But things that change my thinking are always there.
In 1990 I got the worst case. Most of my life was gone. Since then I have had horrible night terrors. About 2 years ago I had a worst night terror of a girl from elementary school, then I could remember she died 3 weeks before our wedding. Since then I have been getting memories back slowly. Not like before when "poof gone", "poof back".
The slow trickle of memories are all very painful and am glad they come slow.
I can not find anything on the internet and the local health care are no help at all.
Are my personalities doing this or just my brain, such as repressed memories?
09 Apr 2018, 12:24 pm
