No hope of recovery

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I feel like there's no hope for my anxiety episodes. They're getting to be more and more frequent. The only thing that seems to keep it at bay is weed.

I feel like I'm ready to die because there's no way that I can see that I can get any better. I'm on medications, I'm in counseling, I try mindfulness and breathing but when I have an anxiety attack, I can't remember my own words warning me against the behaviors I exhibit when I'm that way. They keep coming back and there's nothing I can do. I accept that and I don't intend on letting it stay that way.

No, I'm not suicidal necessarily. Just ready to go. I don't know what I am. Except that I'm safe. You don't need to worry.

What meds have you tired for your anxiety? I'll suggest trying Buspar if you haven't tried that yet. It's specially for anxiety & NOT an antidepressant, antipsychotic, mood stabilizer or benzo. It can be taken with most psych meds & may help increase the efficiency of some. Buspar needs to be taken regularly to work thou like the other non benzos. It helps my anxiety a lot & the only side-effect I notice is that I bruise easier(it was worse when the dose was recently increased). Some people have noticed other side-effects thou & not that many complain about the bruising.