Academic superstar and terrible at everything else...

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Hello everyone!

I am not sure if this is the appropriate place for this discussion, but I really need help. I have no idea what is wrong with me because I don't have insurance. I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school. Several people on here have also mentioned that some of my exam results correlate with a learning disability. Either way, it is $2,000 to get tested again, so I will probably never find out what is wrong with me.

Anyways, is anyone else amazing at academia and terrible at everything else? I got great grades in undergrad and a full scholarship/GRA position in graduate school. I graduated with a 3.9 and published several journal articles. I was offered the chance to stay for a PhD, but I met a woman online and decided to move across the country to be with her. I am about to start my second MA program because I suck and can't get a job in the real world. I won't have to pay tuition, but I will have to get a part-time job of some sort. It is a small town and this university doesn't have as much money.

With regards to employment, I've mainly worked odd jobs with high school dropouts. I am terrible at talking to people about non-academic subjects and when I try and explain my research interests they give me blank stares.The real world is scary and I don't understand it.

It is just weird. I can handle research and taking standardized tests, but I can't handle basic office jobs. Things like multitasking, answering the phone, printing envelopes ect. are really difficult for me. I am also terrible at following spoken directions.

I just want to talk to someone about this because I feel like I am the only person who has this problem. People look down on me for not being able to make it in the "real world".

I can relate, although I haven't gotten nearly as far in school as you have. A bunch of different factors, it's a long story. But I'm really good at school, and not really great at anything that makes money. When I talk to people about music theory or martial arts, I usually receive blank stares in return.
I was diagnosed with add or adhd in grade school. Recently with an asd.

Possibly it would be useful to pick just one area at a time to explore some workarounds. Like you, I sailed through academia, won the prizes there that were elusive outside of it. What changed things for me was the arrival of mentors in my life. They arrived as colleagues, but they became friends and mentors, who helped me navigate in uncertain territory. One taught me negotiation skills; another, the "office politics" of academia - and who not to trust. The other thing that helped me very greatly was to increase the neurotransmitter levels of GABA (until I was quite old, I had no idea about some AS people having innately low levels of GABA, and I was one of them).

What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, though I read your opening post and I can relate to it. As an academic superstar people project all sorts of other expectations on you. Some of these we project onto ourselves, and it's only the latter that we can influence really.

Best wishes for a happier future and welcome to WP.

> "Academic superstar and terrible at everything else..."

Actually, I think that may be one of several standard life courses for aspies.

I was strong in academics, but weak in everything else. I was not athletic and was something of a misfit socially.

When I was younger, I could never imagine myself playing tennis, as I thought I was terrible at sports. Today I love tennis (both watching and playing).

im in a weirdly similar position to you (i saw 'weirdly' but it's probably not uncommon). literally cannot cope with real life. even academically I'm all ups and downs and not passionate enough in my current subject to pursue a phd tho i could probably do it if i wanted. jobs wise - absolutely no experience aside from sh***y retail jobs where i have to do a lot of useless chatter with random people and come home feeling exhausted for a mere £7 an hour. It's a bit downgrading too after 5 years of uni to think i'm going to be stuck in this job.

What do you struggle with the most? do you think it's the adhd or something else?

im stuck at wanting to make a living in music and art, which are the two things I'm truly passionate about, but zero understanding of how to go about it. my current motto is - if i keep practicing ill get so good they won't be able to ignore me but that's not exactly true as there's plenty of genius artists that get zero credit.

ahhh i should stop complaining lol but it's disheartening

I guess I was academically successful. Won awards and scholarships in my field. Quit my first job in a rage, on job #2 now and doing rather bad by my own standards, after ~1½ years. Since I can't put myself in my coworkers' shoes, I'm not sure if I'm on the verge of a promotion, middle-of-the-road, or heading towards a "resource redistribution" (=firing).

I don't miss academia. I mostly prevailed through bull**** arguments and theses, and that kind of success left me cold after a few years. I prefer to be appreciated for my real self, even if that self is struggling "out here", than being lauded for an excellent masquerade.

Having said that, I do camouflage my autistic behaviours. I stim at home but not at work. I mind my body language and my eye contact, following everyday self-deducted tactics. I think of these abilities as similar to being able to write. I wasn't born with it, but there's nothing wrong with learning it logically.

It's not a bad motto to follow. But what is "good" or "genius"? If you look at the most famous contemporary visual artists and the pop music platinum sellers, do you consider them "geniuses"? Excellence is socially determined by various institutions and consumers in society. In a way, achieving such excellence is enticing, but if you just want to sustain yourself as an artist, then striving to become acceptable at social interaction will benefit you more than becoming stunning in terms of, for example, technical ability.

Killer octopus 345:






What subject did you major in?

What kind of jobs did you work at?



Which "people" look down on you for not making it in the "real world"?

"People" literally means two or more

But "people" sounds like everyone

It's either, look up to you, look across at you, look down on you, don't look at you

Those are the only options

You can't guarantee that you only get the first two



Precious lil "people" look down on me too

They might be partially justified

They could just be arrogant

And I am academically stupid, vocationally incompetent, socially awkward, emotionally fragile, and financially broke

At least you claim to be an "Academic Superstar"

i agree - it's much better to receive praise for something you care about and is meaningful to you rather than something done half heartedly.



well, in this particular case i was using the word in a more emphatic and rhetorical way :p but to answer your question i think genius is expressed when a skill (can be any skill really, though preferably not things that we are all capable of without having to put efforts e.g. breathing lol) is mastered in terms of knowledge and technique. anyone can be a genius at something - though personally, i have a slightly more elitist understanding of a genius individual as someone who is has above average intelligence/ insight and skill and is enthusiastic about learning. leonardo da vinci is my hero because he is a master at many things but, more importantly, he lives to learn and discover and create and i think these are amazing pursuits that give an otherwise meaningless existence a sense of colour and purpose.



well, my previous post should have suggest that i do not equate popularity with brilliance. so no. mind you, some can be popular and brilliant - but not all. some are brilliant by working with brilliant people who hide in the shadow - common thing in music, enough to make me automatically dislike any artist who claims to be innovative but is constantly relying yet not crediting its co authors. they just inhabit a vacuously famous name.



"networking" or as artists like to put it politely, collaborating is difficult for me. i guess i should be less obsessed with being good at everything on my own and allow myself to work with other people though i feel something that is uniquely yours is lost in the process and i found working with other people stressful.

At least for a start. Once you become more established, you'll find more ways to express yourself independently and, so to say, "run the show". But in the beginning of a career, a kind of apprenticeship or collaboration, as you put it, is beneficial as a groundwork for wherever you want to go next.

Though, to be honest, it all depended on which people I ended up with for me. I'm very picky with my friendships/social relations, so that cost me a lot of potential success, but on the other hand, I felt satisfaction in being true to my values. My job now is the best I could find, in terms of the people I have to work with everyday. I frequently say to my wife that even though I at times hate the technical sides of my work, I don't want to quit because I feel a sense of responsibility towards my team. That's a new feeling for me. In school I was a loner, wholly focused on the "works" I did. But since I also hate being bad at something, discovering how bad I am at social interaction became a motivator for me.