Unable To Say Names and Certain Words

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When I was little, I didn't really like the short version of my name. It felt wrong to say it, so I stopped saying it. I didn't like the word "Hello" because I thought about it when I was about five, and decided it was silly sounding, so I stopped saying that, too. I replaced it with "Hi."

As I got older, I couldn't say my full name, and this got worse until I couldn't say anyone else's names, either, except for my sisters' nicknames (which I can't say anymore). Then it worsened and I couldn't say brand names, place names or titles for anything, as well as any words I didn't like, like "Talk," "Toe," "Cough" or any word that sounded similar to a first name. When my nephew was born, my sister tried to get me to say his name. I couldn't, and I started crying. It's like I can't bring myself to say these words/names, and I can't explain why.

My family has noticed that it has gotten worse lately, and they can't understand why I won't say the proper word for things. If I accidentally say something I don't let myself say, I feel embarrassed and weird for saying it. I have to write them instead of saying them. There are so many words I can't say that it's hard to picture myself talking to anyone outside of my family, and I know they would see me as stupid.

I also have a weird habit where instead of writing or typing the name/word I can't say verbally, I type or write the letters in a different order until it's finished. For example, if I was going to type the word "example," I might type it like this: e o (backspace o) x a t (backspace t) m p l o (backspace o) e. I might write my name as J space s e i and then another s, c and a. It's embarrassing when I know someone is watching me write or type, but it feels wrong otherwise.

Can anyone relate to this?

I don't have this but it sounds to me like it may be OCD related. I would highly recommended trying to talk to a psych about this

There is selective mutism. Can also just be anxiety. You are thinking too much about the word/words and are too anxious and scared to speak and in your brain it blocks the word/words. More people on the spectrum have this. If you keep pushing you start convulsing, twitching or rolling your eyes because your body is fighting the urge to speak. On your own you can often say the words more easily but it can still be a problem.

A speech therapist can often help with this and find what the cause is. Help with breathing, anxiety and so on.

The typing sounds OCD related.

There are certain words and names that really upset me and set me off, so to speak. I met someone the other day with the same name as someone who abused me horribly and although the new person was nice, I couldn't say their name. I felt bad. There are a few words that trigger me and I then have to go through rituals to calm down after and prevent things from getting bad. About the name thing, I now cry when anybody calls me by my birth name. I know that they typically don't mean any harm, but it triggers me to hear it.

In my case, I think it might be a part of my OCD.

Certain names have pleasant associations for me, while others are more negative.

Names with positive associations include Denis, David, Roger and Rafael-probably because I like tennis players with those names.

I had an absolutely terrible stammer when I was younger. It was starting school that triggered it.
I can relate to what you're saying. I was totally unable to make so many sounds. I had speech therapy, which barely helped. I worried about saying my name, which seemed impossible to say. I then largely withdrew from speaking, as the whole thing was just too much.
I think Selective Mutism is your bodily response to protect yourself from emotional harm.
Also, the OCD is a way to keep anxiety at bay.
If I was in your position, I'd definitely go and ask for help. Probably your GP. Take someone with you. and write down what you want to say. It will be worth it, as nowadays there is help out there, even if you have to wait a while.
Good luck with this.

Hmmm, interesting.

I almost never call people by their names, whether it be in writing or in person, when I say hello to them.

And, I do believe that I've a theory to explain this.

If someone is in an unfamiliar setting, I often have an extremely hard time figuring out who they are. There have been many cases where I honestly believed a stranger was someone I knew, because they looked kind of similar. So, to avoid getting into very embarrassing situations, I don't call people by their first names when I first meet them that day.