Depression and no will to live

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Hi guys.

I've been struggling with depression for almost two years now and right now it is pretty bad again. I should be doing work because I'm moving in a week, but I have basically 0 drive and just think 'why', 'what for' etc. It's pretty textbook: I am doing much less of the things that used to bring me joy, I feel a distance between myself and everybody else - the world in general - and sometimes I even feel a distance to myself, like I'm not sure who I am anymore.

It kinda gets a bit better and worse - just a few weeks ago I was on vacation and enjoyed myself. Actually laughed and felt good for the first time in forever. And I do feel better when I'm seeing friends or doing something interesting. But then there are the days where I just cry a lot and think 'I don't want to live anymore'. And in general there's this huge, overarching theme of 'life has no meaning and I don't care about anything anymore'. Rationally I know there's things I enjoy and care for, but my brain is just not working basically.

I'm sure some of you have felt like this or are currently still feeling like it. The weirdest thing is though, I used to be depressed in the past too, but it always had a certain cause - a clear thing that caused it. Now, I can't think of what it might be, nothing really seems to be so bad. I just.. don't want to anymore.

Anyone wanna talk about this?

Depression is serious buddy, I kinda know how it is because it is what separated me and my ex apart. While I don't have depression, I struggled to be the understanding boyfriend. We weren't really right for each other, but I didn't know how to end it without hurting her feelings. It's important to immerse yourself with happy music and just talk to people who have shared interests with you. That is how she coped with it anyways. Sometimes, there are conventions for people like us to hang out. Best of luck to you my friend. You can PM me anytime.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I suffer from chronic depression and find enjoying things incredibly tough as well. Depression is a demon that we fight every day, a constant war.

Truly wish that it will get better for you in the future/soon.

Stay safe and take care of yourself.

sigh, I wish I could say something to help, but if I say too much I will only bring things down.

there is a pandemic of depression these days. people are popping like popcorn.

Depression sucks.

I've had the two types - the first where something circumstantial brings you down and you don't feel better until it's fixed or you find a way to cope with it, and the second, where you're really down and very sad but there seems to be no reason why you feel that way. You just do. That's the worst imo.

jacharron17 has a good idea for motivation. Music. Playing your favourites while packing may help.

Can anyone come around your place and help you pack? Also are you seeing a doctor that knows about your depression? May be worth getting an appointment very soon. Sending you best wishes.

Dang, do i feel you buddy. I've been taking Prozac for depression and OCD since I was fresh out of elementary, and been going to therapy since I was about nine years old. I can't even count how many times I've thought of or attempted to kill myself. The last couple years have been the best in terms of low suicidal/depressed episodes, but they've recently been coming back since I ruined a couple friendships. But I know you and I are gonna survive this, one day at a time.

The best advice I can give you is these three things:
1) Find someone close to you that you can depend on. A family member, a friend, even a teacher, a coach, or a pastor. At least one person out there cares about you a whole awful lot, and they'll be more than willing to help you through these rough times. The reason I'm alive today is because I have a support system and I know that they not only have my back, but they would be miserable if I was gone.
2) Go to therapy. I've heard every negative stereotype in the book about therapy/therapists, and let me tell you, none of them are true. It may take years to get better, but therapists are there for you every step of the way, and can give you professional, helpful advice and coping mechanisms to help you heal. Find time in your schedule to at least go for an hour a week.
3) Find something to do for others. If trying new experiences or getting new hobbies doesn't help, charity work often does. It's insanely fulfilling when you know you serve a purpose and make someone else's life a bit better. I've been volunteering for the past 3 summers at the local preschool daycare, and I've had the time of my life caring for those sweet little babies. If you don't like kids, you can always help out at a homeless shelter or an animal shelter.

Godspeed, my friend. I hope you will soon see better days.